Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2022 Donruss Nascar Cards, Pack 15 of 24


Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2022 Donruss Nascar Cards.  New teams, new drivers, new subsets, and of course some corny commentary by me.


Pack 15—Pitch Black’d, Action Packed, and a Trophy that Lacked


FIRST LOOK:
My main memories of Mtn Dew Pitch Black (the sour grape flavored one) is that it made my burps smell like grape soda for hours afterwards.  Meh, better than milk, right Kasey?


TO THE BACK:
Again, I really like this Action Packed comic book-style layout.  But a bit of odd wording with “Austin’s COTA”—Austin Texas, not Austin Dillon.  Yet.


SAY WHAT:
“I really wish they had more-evocative trophy for Indianapolis than a brick.  Maybe a football team arriving in the middle of the night, or two aging open wheel racing fans arguing incessantly.”


RATING: 7 splitters out of 10


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Musically Declined: Stock Car Racing’s Entertainers of the Year, The All American Stock Car Racing Fan/The Winner


Stock Car Racing and Country Music—two pillars of culture in the Southern United States.  And the two have mingled throughout the years.  So put on your racing shoes, make sure they match your cowboy hat, and settle in for a look back at some of Nascar’s biggest stars turned Nashville wannabes!


The Songs: The All American Stock Car Racing Fan by Hiett/Marshall & The Winner by Jeannie Seely


The Stars: James Hylton & Cale Yarborough


The Clip: 



The Review: Wow—James’ song sounds like something from the 1940’s.  The fiddles are in full-effect for a guy who was old twenty years before he was REALLY old.  At least he can say he’s the best SINGER to ever driver the 48 car.  On the flip side, Cale Yarborough is back to drone through a song about winning.  Seriously—if your voice is cracking and you’re not between the ages of 12-16, do NOT attempt to sing.


The Verdict: Surprisingly good meets unsurprisingly bad.


Does This Track Have Lights? Here’s the Answer!


We’ve all been there—we’re settled in to watch a Nascar race, turn on the tv, and uh-oh, there’s rain in the area.  Will the race be postponed into the night, or just rescheduled for tomorrow?  Well, that all depends on one important fact: Does this track have lights?  Well, here’s the answer!


DOES THIS TRACK HAVE LIGHTS?

Martinsville Speedway

Martinsville Speedway: YES


Darlington Speedway: YES


Knoxville Raceway: YES


Watkins Glen: NO


Daytona International Speedway: YES


Atlanta Motor Speedway: YES


Charlotte Motor Speedway: YES


Lucas Oil Indianapolis Raceway Park: YES

Bristol Motor Speedway under the lights
(image by Kim Phillips via Wikipedia)


Portland International Raceway: YES


Bristol Motor Speedway: YES


Mid-Ohio: NO


Phoenix Raceway: YES


World Wide Technology Raceway (Gateway/St. Louis): YES


Michigan International Speedway: NO


Sonoma Raceway: NO


Homestead-Miami Speedway at sunset
(image by Jared Smith via Wikipedia)
Dover Motor Speedway: NO

Talladega Superspeedway: NO


Pocono Raceway: NO


Richmond Raceway: YES


New Hampshire Motor Speedway: NO


Homestead-Miami Speedway: YES


Las Vegas Motor Speedway: YES


Texas Motor Speedway: YES


Indianapolis Motor Speedway
Auto Club Speedway (California/Fontana): YES

Nashville Superspeedway: YES


Kansas Speedway: YES


Circuit of the Americas: NO


Indianapolis Motor Speedway: NO


Los Angeles Coliseum: YES


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UNCLE MAX vs. REPEAT WINNERS vs. THE ROULETTE WHEEL: Daytona


EDITOR’S NOTE: Uncle Max is off this week to prepare for his fantasy football draft.  Come back next week for Uncle Max’s 2022 Nascar Playoff Preview!

TRUCK SERIES off


Friday Night XFINITY SERIES Wawa 250 (6 wins): AJ Allmendinger—hopefully Kyle Larson won’t steal TWO wins from The Dinger THIS weekend.


Saturday Night CUP SERIES Coke Zero Sugar 400: LAST RACE’S WINNER (1 win) picks Kyle Larson.  THE ROULETTE WHEEL picks 8th in points Ryan Blaney.  FAVORITE (2 wins): Martin Truex Jr.—Roulette has one driver winning and locking their way in, so I’ll take the other.  NEXT FAVORITE (2 wins): Chase Elliott—will he congratulate Kyle Larson in victory lane?  DARK HORSE (2 wins): Bubba Wallace—just to completely shake things up.



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Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2022 Donruss Nascar Cards, Pack 14 of 24



Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2022 Donruss Nascar Cards.  New teams, new drivers, new subsets, and of course some corny commentary by me.


Pack 14—Limited Edition, Terry’s Disposition, and Byron’s Position


FIRST LOOK:
Pretty cool to get such a limited-edition card.  But what does it all mean?  I mean in terms of value, not the meaning of life—that’s all about learning pointless trivia.


TO THE BACK:
“Terry Labonte didn’t have hall of fame dreams.”  Yeah, probably because there wasn’t a Nascar Hall of Fame back then.


SAY WHAT:
“Liberty University?  Why would you ask me about their latest scandal?  I mean, what makes you think I’m affiliated with them?”


RATING: 8 road crew members out of 10



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NEW PARTS “WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN GOLD” TO SPAD3 RACING


The drive to improve has been ingrained in Special Protective Advance Defense Department Detachment (SPAD3) Racing since its founding a few months back.  That has continued throughout the season, as the team has formed numerous alliances and agreements to get the latest and greatest parts in its race cars.

“We’re really happy with these new manifolds”, said fabricator Keith Howard.  “Put together with the progress we’re making on our speedway cars, they should be easily worth the gold bullion we paid for them.”

Lewis Hamilton, the team’s business manager, stressed the importance of exploiting the team’s relationships around the sport.

“NASCAR is a lot like the world of international espionage—it moves fast”, Hamilton said, “and that’s why we always need to stay one step ahead of the competition.  Whether its new parts, new agreements, or new technology, its worth its weight in gold.

“And I mean that literally”, Hamilton added, “we pay for all our parts in .999 gold bullion, either in coins or bars.  It ensures a quick, seamless transaction that cannot be traced.  But perhaps I’ve said too much.”

As if to confirm his final comment, Hamilton was taken away by several security guards to a small room for an indeterminate amount of time.


For more information visit SPAD3.com


The Kimi Raikkonen Dictionary: The Ice Man Decoded



Today we see a pair of debuts at Watkins Glen—Project 91, a new internationally-focused part-time team from Trackhouse Racing, and its driver Kimi Raikkonen.  Both will be making their first Cup Series outings, and while Project 91 is easy to understand (a test team meant to drum up international interest in the team and sport), Kimi might be a little more difficult to understand.  So here’s a quick glossary of what you might here from the former F1 champion.


“Bwoah”—a common way for Kimi to start a response.  Similar to Rusty Wallace’s “I’ll tell ya” but much less insufferable.


“Just leave me alone, I know what to do!”—Kimi indicating over the radio that he is handling the situation at hand on his own and does not require any assistance.  This is something almost every driver does (albeit with far more profanity), but only Bubba Wallace gets criticized for.


“I was having a s---“—an explanation as to why he may miss certain pre-race ceremonies and responsibilities.  Extremely important at Watkins Glen, as this was where Tony Stewart pioneered the “brown flag stop”.


“I’m not here to try and please people”—Kimi indicating the importance of focus, rather than sponsor or media obligations.  I’m guessing virtually every driver in the sport has wanted to say this.


“I need the drink”—two meanings: 1.) He’s thirsty in the middle of the race and is having problems accessing the in-car hydration system, or 2.) He’s at an awards ceremony and wants to get plastered.


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UNCLE MAX vs. REPEAT WINNERS vs. THE ROULETTE WHEEL: Watkins Glen



Congrats to “Repeat Winners” on their first win this season!  There’s still a big bagel with the Roulette Wheel, but I’m sure that some random driver will come through soon (though not last week’s pick of Cody Ware).

As for me, I have my Fantasy Football Draft coming up next week—its so important, I capitalized it!  I got the snacks ready, the party sub ordered, and my giant draft board coming by mail.  Most of the participants are still local so they’ll be over at my place, although those who can’t will be patched in by Zoom.  Even after almost 20 years, I’m still excited for draft night!


TRUCK SERIES off


Saturday Afternoon XFINITY SERIES Sunoco 200 (6 wins): AJ Allmendinger—because I can’t pick Marcos Ambrose anymore.


Sunday CUP SERIES Federated 400: LAST RACE’S WINNER (1 win) picks Kevin Harvick.  THE ROULETTE WHEEL picks 22nd in points Chris Buescher.  FAVORITE (2 wins): AJ Allmendinger—The Dinger at The Glen is too good a pick to pass up.  NEXT FAVORITE (2 wins): Chase Elliott—yeah, yeah, I know.  DARK HORSE (2 wins): Michael McDowell—to attain “at Cope” levels of excellence.


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Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2022 Donruss Nascar Cards, Pack 13 of 24



Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2022 Donruss Nascar Cards.  New teams, new drivers, new subsets, and of course some corny commentary by me.


Pack 13—An Aging Star, Performance So Far, and a Talking Car?!


FIRST LOOK:
Happy doesn’t look so happy here, maybe he just saw how the past twelve months will be going for him in the car.


TO THE BACK:
Again we see the issue with the cut-off point for printing these cards.  “He had a great 2020 Playoffs, then he made the 2021 Playoffs, and—“


SAY WHAT:
“RRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRrrrrrrr…”


RATING: 6 fire suits out of 10



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Musically Declined: Stock Car Racing’s Entertainers of the Year, A Driver’s Prayer


Stock Car Racing and Country Music—two pillars of culture in the Southern United States.  And the two have mingled throughout the years.  So put on your racing shoes, make sure they match your cowboy hat, and settle in for a look back at some of Nascar’s biggest stars turned Nashville wannabes!


The Song: A Driver’s Prayer by Billy Arr


The Star: Trevor Boys


The Clip: 



The Review: Here we have one of the most-random “singers” on this album, Trevor Boys.  The Canadian raced his only full-season the year before, but still—dude had a best finish of TENTH in 1984.  And what’s with him saying that God “let him down before”?  Maybe that explains why he never raced full-time again.


The Verdict: Less a song, more a guy whining about his car over a beat.


Nascar’s Playoff Predicament: How to Playoff?


Its an exciting season with a new car, new winners, and a new attitude in Nascar—so of course Nascar is on the verge of doing what it does best, painting itself into a corner.

You see, when Nascar first instituted its current Playoff format (16 drivers with regular eliminations), it was made very clear that “if you win, you’re in” (as long as you were a full-time driver), because how could there POSSIBLY be more than 16 winners?!?

Yeah, about that.

There have been fifteen different winners so far this season, so with three races to go we could wind up with as many as TWO race winners missing the Playoffs.  This means we could also wind up with arguably the most-pointless (pun!) win in Nascar history if someone way back in the points wins the Coke Zero 400 regular season finale at Daytona—a track that’s always a wild card.

So how can Nascar fix this?  Well, as I see it, there’s three options available (assuming that Nascar is going to hold onto its Playoff format for dear life):


1.) Keep things as-is.  On the one hand it will put further importance on season-long performance and prevent a fluke winner from making the Playoffs.  On the other hand, it’ll make it kind of awkward for broadcasters to call an upset win, and say “And he’s just locked himself into the Playoffs, assuming there aren’t 16 or more winners this season, in which case he’s likely going to miss out.”


2.) Expand the Playoffs.  In this concept every race winner in the top-thirty in points would qualify (plus the points leader if he happens to be winless).  Honestly, this would make the most sense to me—you keep the excitement of someone winning their way into the Playoffs on a road course, plate track, or on fuel mileage, but still cut down the Playoff field to 12 after three races.  Granted, this would only happen when there were more than 16 winners, and hey, its happened before (the infamous “Itchy Arm” addition of Jeff Gordon).  Only downside?  It would increase the belief that Nascar simply changes the rules when it suits them.


3.) Have a “race-off”.  Its a wild concept, but hear me out—if there’s, say, six drivers with multiple wins, and twelve drivers with single wins, have those twelve compete in a 50 lap race Monday after the regular season finale.  The bottom two finishers miss the Playoffs, giving us a 16-driver field.  Sure, it would be crazy.  And sure, it would be gimmicky.  But tell me you wouldn’t be interested in seeing it!


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UNCLE MAX vs. REPEAT WINNERS vs. THE ROULETTE WHEEL: Richmond



With Fantasy Football Season right around the corner, here’s some advice from a FF veteran of over 20 years:

—Pick a running back first.  Seriously—unless you’re picking last in a 12+ team league, go with a running back first.

—Pick a QB second.  And remember to pick the best available—not just the one you happen to like because he liked a comment of yours on Twitter.

—From the third pick on you’re into “Best Player Available” territory.  Don’t worry so much about filling out your roster, as much as assembling the best quality you can.  Just make sure you don’t wind up with eight wide receivers, this isn’t the early-90’s Detroit Lions.

—Don’t bog down the draft with trade ideas—that’s what the day after is for.

—Don’t overthink things—its better to make a dull-expected pick and win than it is to pick an obscure tight end and lose.

—If your last pick isn’t a kicker, you’d better be in a league that doesn’t HAVE kickers.


Saturday Night TRUCK SERIES Worldwide Express 250: John Hunter Nemechek—come on JHN—lets get rid of that goose-egg!


XFINITY SERIES (6 wins): off


Sunday CUP SERIES Federated 400: LAST RACE’S WINNER picks Kevin Harvick.  THE ROULETTE WHEEL picks 32nd in points Cody Ware.  FAVORITE (2 wins): Chase Elliott—taking a week off from extra Playoff entrants.  NEXT FAVORITE (2 wins): Kyle Busch—a nice comeback from last weekend’s crash.  DARK HORSE (2 wins): Bubba Wallace—though he might run out of breath thanking all his sponsors.



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Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2022 Donruss Nascar Cards, Pack 12 of 24



Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2022 Donruss Nascar Cards.  New teams, new drivers, new subsets, and of course some corny commentary by me.


Pack 12—Jeff, Jeff, and more Jeff


FIRST LOOK:
Jeff Gordon is a legend, and he’s still involved in the sport, but seriously?  Three cards in an eight card pack?  In the words of Garth Algar, “Live in the now!”


TO THE BACK:
I mean there’s nothing wrong here, although we’re missing any real insight.  “He was really, really good folks”.


SAY WHAT:
“How do they get the firesuit so shiny?”


RATING: 7 Jeff Gordons out of 10



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SPAD3 RACING FORMS ALLIANCES WITH FORMULA 1 TEAMS


Special Protective Advance Defense Department Detachment (SPAD3) Racing has taken on a decidedly international flair lately, forming several alliances with Formula 1 teams and suppliers.

"Bengal Tiger"

“We’re always happy to work with anyone who shares the same goals as us”, said team principal Kent Simms.  “By gaining crucial information from around the globe, we don’t think there will be anything stopping us.”

The team was surprisingly coy about revealing what team or teams they are actually working with.

“Well, we don’t have all the contracts taken care of yet”, Simms explained, “but we do have a guest from one of our new partners—Bengal Tiger, come over here!”

“Thank you Ice Bear”, the man known only as Bengal Tiger said.  “I’m glad to be working with such a…fine, upstanding organization.  I hope that by working together, we can help eliminate our common enemies, by which I mean losing.”

Bengal Tiger continued by saying, “This is a message for Green Panther—if Titan has rendezvous, continue as planned with Operation Viking.  If not, eliminate Titan at once.”

The team said they plan to formally announce their partners after a summit meeting this upcoming weekend.

“We have big plans ahead”, Simms said, “and the racing media will know about them all in due time.”


To keep up with SPAD3 Racing, visit SPAD3.com


3 in Their Third: A Monthly Spade Racing Series—August Report



Two years ago there were six rookie drivers.  Last year four of them returned for their sophomore seasons.  This year the three best are back once again for their third seasons in Cup—and just like over the past two years, we’ll be ranking them here at Spade Racing.

Just like in years past we’ll be utilizing the PRETTY grade—Performance Relative to Equating Team’s Typical Year—as a way to properly rank someone from a top-flight team like Joe Gibbs Racing against someone from a top-flight slumping team like Stewart-Haas Racing against someone from a mid-level operation like RCR.

Here’s where our three guys stack up heading into Road America:


1.) Tyler Reddick (Richard Childress Racing).  2022 Best Race Finish: 1st (Road America & Indy). PRETTY Grade: A+.  Reddick gets the higher ranking AND the higher PRETTY grade seeing as how he’s outpacing teammate Austin Dillon by a decent margin.  And with a win in the books, now Reddick has over a year of awkwardness at RCR to look forward to!


2.) Christopher Bell (Joe Gibbs Racing).  2022 Best Race Finish: 1st (New Hampshire).  PRETTY Grade: A.  Its nice to see C.Bell turning up the wick, and possibly being a spoiler in the 2022 Playoffs.  Then again, its not-so-nice to have it happen when a fellow third-year competitor is arguably the hottest driver in the sport.


3.) Cole Custer (Stewart-Haas Racing).  2022 Best Race Finish: 9th (Atlanta & Indy).  PRETTY Grade: D.  With C.Bell establishing himself as a threat to win, and T.Reddick breaking through at the Cup level (with a new ride in the future), Cole is just kind of…there.



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UNCLE MAX vs. REPEAT WINNERS vs. THE ROULETTE WHEEL: Michigan



Figures—I get back from being sick, finally get back into the groove at work, and BOOM—sick again.  And I do mean “BOOM”—yeah, it was, um, stomach-related.  Thankfully I’m back on my feet but its no fun trying to recover at home when all you have to eat are frozen pancakes, cans of Chickarina soup, and beef patties covered in freezer burn.

As for my work review, well, it seems like things will be progressing normally—nothing too bad, nothing too great, just staying the course.  The cost-of-living increase starting in September will be a nice change, and I think my “make good” for the summer will cover my preparations for my fantasy football draft—again, assuming I don’t get sick for a third time in six weeks!


TRUCK SERIES—off


Saturday Afternoon XFINITY SERIES New Holland 250 (6 wins): Noah Gragson—heating up for the Playoffs.


Sunday CUP SERIES FireKeepers 400: LAST RACE’S WINNER picks Tyler Reddick.  THE ROULETTE WHEEL picks 15th in points Chase Briscoe.  FAVORITE (2 wins): Ryan Blaney—winning his way into the Playoffs.  NEXT FAVORITE (2 wins): Kyle Larson—winning his way into the points lead.  DARK HORSE (2 wins): Daniel Suarez—winning his way into not being a one-win wonder.


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