Spade Racing’s 2016 Silent But Deadly Game Tournament QUARTERFINALS

For years Nascar fans have been saying that the “Chase for the Cup” is not a valid way to determine the best driver in Nascar’s top series.  How, then, can we find out who truly is “the best of the best” in stock car racing?
That’s where Spade Racing comes in.
Taking inspiration from the WWF/E’s 1998 Survivor Series “Deadly Game” tournament to crown a new champion, we at Spade Racing have assembled the 15 greatest drivers in Nascar (…and Chris Buescher) in a secret underground fighting tournament to determine who really IS the best.
And now, here it is, the Spade Racing Silent But Deadly Game Tournament!

QUARTERFINALS
1. Martin Truex. Jr. vs. 8. Kurt Busch
RECAP: After a first round almost-devoid of upsets, things got started off in the quarterfinals with a bang as Kurt Busch got the early jump on Martin Truex Jr., with Truex kicking out of a pin merely thirty seconds in the match in the nick of time.  A stunned Truex attempted to mount a comeback, but the plucky Busch showed his mettle, fighting back to land a Monster Mash, the pin, and the shocking victory, leaving the crowd in stunned silence.  An overjoyed Busch quickly ran back to the locker room, while a dejected Truex was left flabbergasted in the ring.  Truex then grabbed a microphone, blaming the loss on bad luck, Andrew Luck, Lucky Strikes, Lucky Charms, and Pot Luck Dinners.  WINNER: Busch, 2:59, PIN.

4. Matt Kenseth vs. 5. Joey Logano
RECAP: Another old rivalry flared-up in the tournament, with arch-rivals Kenseth and Logano going at it toe-for-toe, eye-to-eye, excuse-for-excuse.  A back-and-forth battle had the crowd squarely on “Robot” Kenseth’s side, as “Go Low” Logano used a number of low blows and eye-gouges to regain his advantage.  Eventually Logano attempted to set up for his Pennzoil Plunge finishing move, only to be countered by Kenseth with a Dollarcanrana.  At this point, Logano slipped an “illegal object” into an exhausted Kenseth’s hand, which was quickly spotted by the referee, who declared a disqualification in Logano’s favor, giving him the win.  An enraged Kenseth, suddenly eliminated from the tournament, began attacking the prone Logano with the object, later revealed to be a DeLana Harvick action figure.  WINNER: Logano, 10:15, DQ.

6. Jimmie Johnson vs. 3. Kyle Busch
RECAP: At first, it appeared that Busch would win the match by countout, with Johnson nowhere to be seen after his savage beating in the opening round.  However, Johnson soon ran to the ring with a renewed sense of purpose, the trademark smile gone from his face as he savagely destroyed Busch with punch after punch.  Surprisingly Johnson didn’t respond to Busch’s valet’s pleas for mercy, but perhaps more surprisingly, the crowd appeared to cheer FOR Johnson, despite his lack of mercy or sportsmanship.  Johnson eventually stopped the mauling by angrily pinning the nearly-passed-out Busch, angrily yelling “IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?!?” to the cheering crowd.  WINNER: Johnson, 7:57, PIN.

10. Carl Edwards vs. 2. Kevin Harvick
RECAP: Harvick went into this match as, arguably, the biggest favorite going forward.  But despite not being given much of a chance at competing, Edwards came on strong, applying a series of holds and maneuvers that appeared to wear down the confident Harvick.  However, it appeared that Harvick would not be denied, putting Edwards into a “Busch Clash” hold.  Then, seemingly on the verge of tapping out, Edwards reached mightily for the ropes, scoring a break and stunning Harvick.  Edwards then mounted a slow-building comeback, wearing Harvick down until finally being able to make the Arris Flip for the pin and the win.  WINNER: Edwards, 10:59, PIN.

Spade Racing’s 2016 Silent But Deadly Game Tournament OPENING ROUND PART 2

For years Nascar fans have been saying that the “Chase for the Cup” is not a valid way to determine the best driver in Nascar’s top series.  How, then, can we find out who truly is “the best of the best” in stock car racing?
That’s where Spade Racing comes in.
Taking inspiration from the WWF/E’s 1998 Survivor Series “Deadly Game” tournament to crown a new champion, we at Spade Racing have assembled the 15 greatest drivers in Nascar (…and Chris Buescher) in a secret underground fighting tournament to determine who really IS the best.
And now, here it is, the Spade Racing Silent But Deadly Game Tournament!

6. Chase Elliott vs. 11. Jimmie Johnson
RECAP: It was a case of old vs. new, rookie vs. veteran, inexplicably loved vs. inexplicably hated as “Ace” Chase Elliott took on Jimmie “Nice Guy” Johnson.  Elliott used his mastery of the crowd perfectly, taking the match to the barricades and smashing Johnson’s head against them to the delight of the assembled fans.  Johnson, smiling the whole time, was heard telling each fan “thank you! thank you!” despite being spat upon.  Eventually Elliott took things a bit too fan when he took Johnson over to a group of “fans” made up of former members of their stable, The Hendrick Honchos.  Johnson was beaten and battered by the likes of Casey Mears, Joe Nemechek, and even Ken Schrader, being pelted with Excedrin tablets from the crowd, until the referee finally decided enough was enough, ending the match in Johnson’s favor with a disqualification to the crowd’s disdain.  WINNER: Jimmie Johnson, 9:20 DQ.

3. Kyle Busch vs. 14. Kyle Larson
RECAP: The Battle of the Kyles went about as planned, with “Rowdy” Busch dominating the younger “Elk Grove Ninja” in a match that was really over before it began.  Using both his patented “Interstate Battery Battering Bashes” and his manager’s feminine wiles, Busch scored a dominating victory in quick fashion with a decisive pin.  Busch then used his mic time to complain about how next year he won’t be able to compete in lower-level matches organized by NXT (Nascar Xfinity Tournament).  WINNER: Kyle Busch, 3:18 PIN.

7. Brad Keselowski vs. 10. Carl Edwards
RECAP: They say old rivalries die hard, and so does the animosity between these two stars in The Battle of the Racing Surfaces.  “Concrete” Carl had the early advantage, only for “Koncrete” Keselowski to reverse the match with the application of his patented “Black and Blue Deuce” hold.  Edwards reached the ropes for a break, but when the two warriors ran into each other for a lock-up, their teeth clashed against each other, knocking them each out.  Slow to get to their feet, Keselowski appeared to have the advantage, setting up for his fishing “Miller Time” DDT, only for Edwards to shock his opponent and the crowd with his signature Arris Flip, leading to the pin shortly before time expired.  WINNER: Carl Edwards, 14:49 PIN.

2. Kevin Harvick vs. 15. Jamie McMurray
RECAP: “The Man of a Thousand Nicknames” appeared to be in trouble at first, starting slowly against the lowly-regarded Jamie “Happy to Be Here” McMurray.  After appearing to knock Harvick out, McMurray grabbed a microphone and revealed his dastardly plan, claiming to have replaced Harvick’s normal pre-fight meal of Jimmy John’s subs with McDonalds.  However, Harvick then rose to his feet, winked at the crowd, then delivered his devastating finishing maneuver, The Bakersfield Bash.  Afterwards, seemingly to prolong the pain, Harvick locked McMurray into his “stretch” hold, The Busch Clash, which McMurray quickly tapped out of.  WINNER: Harvick, 5:41, SUB.


Spade Racing’s 2016 Silent But Deadly Game Tournament OPENING ROUND PART 1

For years Nascar fans have been saying that the “Chase for the Cup” is not a valid way to determine the best driver in Nascar’s top series.  How, then, can we find out who truly is “the best of the best” in stock car racing?
That’s where Spade Racing comes in.
Taking inspiration from the WWF/E’s 1998 Survivor Series “Deadly Game” tournament to crown a new champion, we at Spade Racing have assembled the 15 greatest drivers in Nascar (…and Chris Buescher) in a secret underground fighting tournament to determine who really IS the best.
And now, here it is, the Spade Racing Silent But Deadly Game Tournament!

OPENING ROUND:
1. Martin Truex Jr. vs. 16. Chris Buescher
RECAP: Well, this was really the biggest mismatch on the card, for sure.  Truex came into this match with a head of steam, all the inspiration in the world, and strong backing as part of The Camry Alliance.  Buescher, well, he just kind of came in here, after winning a battle royale for the final slot the night before when he hid the corner while the rest of the competitors punched each other out.  Truex made quick work of the rookie with a flurry of expert punches and holds, finally getting Buescher to tap out to his signature hold, “The Furniture Row No-Go”.  WINNER: Martin Truex Jr., 3:04 SUB.

8. Kurt Busch vs. 9. Denny Hamlin
RECAP: Arguably the most-hotly-contested match in the opening round saw the controversial former champion Kurt “The Former Outlaw” Busch take on “Dangerous” Denny Hamlin, arguably the best competitor here to never capture championship gold.  The match was a classic see-saw battle, with Busch using his veteran savvy to batter Hamlin’s weakened injured body parts (which is to say, all of them).  Hamlin was able to mount a comeback with some classic chain moves, however, eventually maneuvering into the position of power, wearing Busch down Kurt constantly scanned the crowd for possible snipers.  After applying his finisher, the FedEx Flyer, however, Busch was able to kick out at two and stage a comeback of his own, eventually landing his OWN finisher, The Monster Mash, and picking up the 1-2-3.  The crowd showed their appreciation for the hard-fought battle, chanting “This-Is-Awe-some”, then informing Bill Elliott that it wasn’t always about him.  WINNER: Kurt Busch, 14:01 PIN.

4. Matt Kenseth vs. 13. Tony Stewart
RECAP: A pair of wily veterans took each other on in arguably the highest-stakes match of the night, in which mutually agreed upon stipulations saw Tony “Smoke” Stewart put his career on the line in exchange for Matt “Robot” Kenseth agreeing to kiss Joey Logano’s feet if he lost cleanly.  While both competitors came out like a house of fire, Stewart’s badly-injured back and lack of conditioning began to show, allowing Kenseth to take control of the match within a matter of minutes.  Eventually Stewart attempted his finishing move, The (im)Mobil 1, far too early, allowing Kenseth to reverse it for a small package and the victory.  Stewart then left the arena to a standing ovation from the crowd, pausing only to flip off the assembled media.  WINNER: Matt Kenseth, 6:59 PIN.

5. Joey Logano vs. 12. Austin Dillon

RECAP: Joey “GoGo” Logano is no more, having officially completed his “Heel Turn” in the months leading up to the tournament, now going by the name Joey” GoLow” Logano.  Austin Dillon was next in line for The Connecticut Motor Oil-Blood’s dastardly ways, as the third-generation star was battered and bruised early and often.  Dillon was barely able to get in a bit of offense, but Logano still used the ropes as leverage to score the pin after his finishing move, The Pennzoil Plunge.  Dillon was helped from the ring by his family members before Logano was able to use a bottle of spray paint to “…fix that spot on his hair”.  WINNER: Joey Logano, 7:23 PIN.



Spade Racing’s 2016 Silent But Deadly Game Tournament


Click to enlarge/enrage

For years Nascar fans have been saying that the “Chase for the Cup” is not a valid way to determine the best driver in Nascar’s top series.  How, then, can we find out who truly is “the best of the best” in stock car racing?

That’s where Spade Racing comes in.

Taking inspiration from the WWF/E’s 1998 Survivor Series “Deadly Game” tournament to crown a new champion, we at Spade Racing have assembled the 15 greatest drivers in Nascar (…and Chris Buescher) in a secret underground fighting tournament to determine who really IS the best.


And now, here it is, the Spade Racing Silent But Deadly Game Tournament!