Tuesday, December 29, 2020
Monday, December 28, 2020
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (Boogertown, North Carolina)
52 Pickup Racing is proud to unveil their primary paint scheme for the 2021 NASCAR Cup season, featuring primary branding for primary sponsor Monday Cigarettes.
|Click to enlarge|
“To see it up close, its really validation that we’ve taken all the right steps”, said co-owner George Tomer, one of the fifty-two owners of the team. “And while we know that there’s plenty of more steps ahead, the first one is always the hardest. Well, besides all the actual racing.”
The team still has plenty of sponsorship opportunities available for interested companies, specifically on the “doors” and rear quarter panels of the car.
“We’re thankful to Monday Cigarettes for their generous support, but we’re still looking for additional funding to make sure we can finish the season”, Tomer said. “Why do you think I scrawled ‘YOUR NAME HERE’ on the car? THAT’S not part of the paint scheme. Well, unless that’s your company’s name, I guess.”
QUOTES: “Man, that car looks sweet! I can’t wait to take it out for some hot laps.” —T.B. Dee, driver of the 52 Pickup Racing Monday Cigarettes race car.
“Its almost too pretty to risk wrecking it. Better keep it under wraps till Speedweeks” —George Tomer, co-owner of 52 Pickup Racing.
ABOUT 52 PICKUP RACING: 52 Pickup Racing is NASCAR Cup’s newest race team. Based out of Boogertown North Carolina, the team employs up-and-coming driver T.B. Dee and needs someone with electrical experience to help install an industrial ceiling fan in their race shop on Wednesday.
For more information please visit the 52 Pickup Racing website at www.52pickupracing.com
For all media inquiries please contact Moxoc Media at moxoc(at)moxoc.com
Tuesday, December 22, 2020
Monday, December 21, 2020
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (Boogertown, North Carolina)
In a nod to the sport’s illustrious past, NASCAR’s newest race team 52 Pickup Racing has announced its primary sponsor for 2021: Monday-brand Cigarettes.
“Its truly an honor to associated with such a classic brand as Monday Cigarettes”, Pete Taylor, one of the fifty-two co-owners of the race team, said. “We look forward to having the iconic blue label with the yellow stripe on our cars, fire suits, and team logos for a majority of the 2021 NASCAR Cup season.
“As a small, privately-owned tobacco firm, we have thankfully not been subjected to the draconian ‘Master Settlement’ made by our bigger competitors”, a Monday Cigarettes spokesman said today. “With the sport of auto racing going through such a transformative time, we felt the time was right to enter the world of NASCAR.
“We have a lot in common with stock car racing”, the spokesman continued. “After all, both racing and Monday Cigarettes are associated with being out on the edge, being a bit of a rebel, and both are highly addictive.”
52 Pickup Racing will debut the primary paint scheme of their 2021 car shortly.
QUOTES: “We look forward to seeing our race car going around the Daytona International Speedway in February. When you think pack racing, think of a pack of smooth, smokey Monday-brand Cigarettes. Monday Cigarettes—Thank Goodness Its Monday” —Monday Tobacco Spokesman
“This sport is all about partnerships, whether its between yourself and fifty-one fellow investors or between all of you and an iconic brand” —Pete Taylor, 52 Pickup Racing Co-Owner
“I really look forward to driving the Monday Cigarettes stock car to victory lane in 2021. Oh, and they’re making me say this: Surgeon General’s Warning—Quitting smoking now greatly reduces serious risks to your health”.
ABOUT 52 PICKUP RACING: 52 Pickup Racing is NASCAR Cup’s newest race team. Based out of Boogertown North Carolina, the team employs up-and-coming driver T.B. Dee and a number of dedicated volunteers, interns, and hangers-on.
Now live: The 52 Pickup Racing website! www.52pickupracing.com
Tuesday, December 15, 2020
Monday, December 14, 2020
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (Boogertown, North Carolina)
The Nascar Cup Series’ newest race team has found its driver for the 2021 season, signing Todd Bradford Dee to a longterm contract to drive the number 52 race car starting at the prestigious Daytona 500.
“It’s really an honor to know I’ll be racing in the Cup Series, and I want to help build this team into a contending operation”, Dee said in a Zoom press conference. “And when I say building the team, I’m being literal—I’m starting Monday on the construction crew to get the race shop built by January.”
Dee, 25, has a long racing career for such a young driver, having competed in such developmental series as the Southern United Challenger Kings Series and the Birmingham-Leeds Outlaw World Series.
“I’m glad that I’ve been able to prove that I can win races in the SUCKS and BLOWS regional organizations, but its time to take my career to the next level”, Dee said. “There’s really no better way to gain experience than by bypassing Xfinity, Trucks and ARCA completely and mixing it up with the ‘big boys’ in Cup. Hey, it worked for Quin Houff, right?”
“We see Todd Bradford Dee as the future of this sport”, team majority owner Gunther Hoffberger said from the future site of the team’s race shop in Boogertown. “And now, more than ever, the future is now. Well, ‘now’ as in 2021, but you get the point. And I speak for all 52 team owners of 52 Pickup Racing when I say that we expect to contend for not finishing last right out of the gate.”
While sponsorship, car manufacturers, crew members, and any possible technical alliances have yet to be announced, Dee did have one calcification to make.
“Todd Bradford Dee is just too formal”, Dee said as the press conference wrapped up. “So you can just call me T.B. Dee—or TBD for short. And 52 Pickup Racing’s driver is definitely going to be TBD in 2021.”
QUOTES: “I’m very thankful to all the owners at 52 Pickup Racing for letting me live out my dream. Why just last night I was holding off Kevin Harvick from passing me. Granted I was five laps down at the time and Harvick was leading, but you get the idea.” —T.B. Dee, driver for 52 Pickup Racing
“No comment” —Edgar Barnhart, one of the fifty-two owners of 52 Pickup Racing.
ABOUT 52 PICKUP RACING: 52 Pickup Racing is NASCAR Cup’s newest race team. Based out of Boogertown North Carolina, the team employs up-and-coming driver T.B. Dee and is actively seeking sponsorship partners, prospective marketing opportunities, and spare change.
Coming soon: The 52 Pickup Racing website
Tuesday, December 8, 2020
Monday, December 7, 2020
A consortium of businessmen, racing executives, and investors have announced the formation of a new Nascar Cup Series team for 2021, having acquired a Cup Series Charter after finding it on a Charlotte sidewalk earlier this week.
“This is a great day for racing”, said team principal Miles Krieger, one of the more than four-dozen team investors. “Its not every day that you get the opportunity to start a brand-new race team, and its not everyday that you can do it because you just happened to find a valuable Nascar Cup Series Charter lying on the sidewalk on your way to get lunch. But here we are.”
The group unveiled their team name today—“52 Pickup Racing”—after the number of total investors in the team.
“The 52 of us had a singular vision—to take my skull-reading service, Phrenology Associates—to the masses”, said team majority owner Gunther Hoffberger, “but once this opportunity came along, we couldn’t say no to it.”
The team has said that its car, paint scheme, sponsors, crew chief, team headquarters, and driver will be unveiled at a later date.
“We’re looking to have everything wrapped up by the end of 2020 so we can get a jump start on 2021”, said Krieger. “With the upcoming rule changes coming into effect for 2022, we think the time is right to enter the sport at a bargain price—heck, you should see some of the deals for 2020 race cars on Craigslist!”
The previous owner of the found Charter has not been revealed, nor has their motives at letting said Charter lapse due to dropping it on a busy walkway. However, the new team has said they won’t be taking anything for granted.
“There’s a lot of work involved”, Hoffberger said, “and between the 52 of us we’ll be working hard to find a competition director who we can blame for any shortcomings in the future. On the plus side, any Charter that’s NOT in the hands of Rick Ware is probably a good thing for the sport.”
Friday, December 4, 2020
In an attempt to “spice up” the less popular of Nascar Cup’s two non-points exhibition races, the sanctioning body said that 2021’s edition of the Busch Clash will feature a special prize for the winner: A “Money in the Bank” Championship Title shot.
“We wanted to make the Clash meaningful for the first time, well, ever”, said Nascar executive Tony Michaels. “So when those lucky drivers hit the road course at Daytona in February, one of them will walk away with an instant shot at glory, courtesy the ‘Money in the Bank’ briefcase.”
Holding up said briefcase for various media members joining the press conference on Zoom, Michaels explained the rules in place for the victorious driver:
“The winner of the race gets possession of this handsome briefcase. They are then entitled to a championship ‘title shot’ at any point this season. This means that once the winning driver decides to ‘cash in’, they’ll be in a ten-lap shootout with the reigning champion, in this case Chase Elliott. If they manage to beat Chase in the race, they’ll retroactively be named the 2020 Nascar Cup champion, earning the trophy and all media responsibilities therein.”
Upon being asked how such a race would take place, Michaels elaborated, stating, “That’s the best part—it can happen anywhere there’s a track, a Nascar official to wave the flag, and Chase Elliott’s nearby. So it could be immediately following a race at Bristol, or during a Hooters commercial shoot at Charlotte. Heck—it could even be at Texas at 2:30am. You’ll never know when it will happen.”
When reached for comment, Elliott—who would seem to be at a major disadvantage with the new format—remained confident.
“I’m not worried—heck, I could even win the Clash itself, negating any threat”, Elliott said. “Besides, the championship can only change hands on a clean win. So if someone wants to challenge me, don’t be surprised if the ol’ number 9 car fails inspection afterwards for a disqualification.”
Nascar officials confirmed that the idea was “borrowed” from fellow NBC & Fox property WWE, and that they’re working on a plan for holding the All-Star race in 2022 in a steel cage.
Tuesday, December 1, 2020
Sunday, November 29, 2020
While the 2020 Nascar season has ended, work has already started on 2021 by teams, drivers, and media outlets. To that end, Nascar on Fox broadcaster Mike Joy was recently fitted with a shock collar in order to avoid bringing up the Phoenix brawl between Jeff Gordon and new broadcast partner Clint Bowyer.
“Its never to early to start planning for the upcoming season”, Joy said while the electronic collar was being adjusted to fit snugly around his neck. “Its far too easy to just bring up the…well, lets say ‘dramatic unpleasantness’ that happened that day at Phoenix. So to prevent myself from overdoing it, this electronic collar should do the trick.”
Nascar on Fox producers, showing a remarkable amount of restraint, encouraged the fitting for Joy.
“Hammering home a single point over and over again every single week worked in the past, but we’re going in a different direction”, said Sidney Kingsale, a line producer for Fox’s Nascar Cup coverage. “Speaking of hammers, we have an intern traveling with us who’ll smash Jeff (Gordon)’s hand if he goes on too much about the greatness of Hendrick Motorsports.”
Joy, a longtime broadcaster renowned for his expert delivery, seemed to be aware of recent criticism of Nascar broadcasts.
“Let’s be honest—not every race is going to be a barn-burner”, Joy said. “But filling time with the same four storylines every week? That’s TNT-level bad. So there’ll be no need whatsoever to discuss the…incident in question that happened at…that track in the desert a few years back.”
Joy’s newest broadcast partner, Clint Bowyer, seemed pleased with the shock collar during a recent test run at Fox’s Charlotte-area studios.
“Hey, Mike, I gotta say, that thing looks pretty decent on you there”, Bowyer said. “But what’s it for?”
“Oh, its so I don’t discuss that fight you and Jeff had at Pho—GAAAAA!” Joy said before falling to the ground, a loud buzzing sound heard in the studio as Bowyer laughed uproariously.
Tuesday, November 24, 2020
Sunday, November 22, 2020
Under normal circumstances the Thanksgiving-to-Christmas stretch features plenty of big-budget movies premiering across the country. Unfortunately the pandemic has put a kink in those plans. Thankfully there’s still a few movies coming out—here’s the ones with a Nascar flavor to them:
Last Call—in protest of Dover losing its spring date, a solitary fan cracks open a cold one in the stands on the old race day. Then realizing how boring it is, they go into the casino to gamble.
All My Life—a “fan” who has spent the last fifty years whining about how terrible Nascar is receives a bombshell—they don’t actually have to watch it.
Dear Santa—in this touching documentary various drivers deliver Christmas gifts to needy race fans, from children to the employees of Rick Ware Racing.
Nomadland—Daniel Suarez is portrayed in this “have helmet, will travel” neo-western.
Assassins—in this remake of “Black Sunday” a terrorist commandeers a blimp and crashes it into Daytona International Speedway. Unfortunately for him, his GPS sends him directly into Lake Lloyd.
The Stand-In—ever wonder who that model is who poses for all the pictures of drivers with their helmets on? Spoiler alert—its David Stremme!
The Comeback Trail—a feel-good movie about Richard Petty Motorsports’ attempt to revamp its operation. Takes place over 15 years.
News of the World—international race fans unite to shut up East Coast fans who constantly complain about “late” race starts.
Thursday, November 19, 2020
I’m proud to announce that starting next month, I’ll be entering the exciting non-fulfilling world of motorsports public relations! A brand-new Nascar team has agreed to hire me to do at least one press release a week for them starting in December. More details to come soon but every single of these pressers will be posted here for your reading enjoyment!
Tuesday, November 17, 2020
Sunday, November 15, 2020
New for 2020, Spade Racing took a monthly look at the heralded Cup Series rookie class to determine who’s hot and who’s not. The PRETTY grade: Performance Relative to Equating Team’s Typical Year (its pretty much how well each driver is doing considering their equipment). Here’s how things look at the end of the season:
1. Cole Custer (Stewart Haas Racing). Best race finish: 1st (Kentucky). PRETTY grade: B+. Cole was the unquestioned leader of the 2021 rookie class, courtesy of his race win. But his PRETTY grade was a bit tougher to nail down. Considering that SHR seems like Kevin Harvick and The Other Guys, Cole did the best of the others, so he gets a slight boost into “my grades in college besides math and science” territory.
2. Tyler Reddick (Richard Childress Racing). Best race finish: 2nd (Texas). PRETTY grade: B. It was a real bounce back year for RCR, and Tyler Reddick’s contributions can’t be overlooked. Mostly because its HIS sponsors that tend to adorn the car.
3. Christopher Bell (Leavine Family Racing). Best race finish: 3rd (Texas). PRETTY grade: B-. C.Bell’s 2020 was an odd one. He showed he could compete for top-fives on occasion despite running for a satellite team planning to shut down, but had a number of stretches of poor finishes. Oh well—at least he’s not going to RPM next year.
4. John Hunter Nemechek (Front Row Motorsports). Best race finish: 8th (Talladega twice). PRETTY grade: C+. Nemechek will enter 2021 in a unique situation. The coming next-gen car in 2022 could lead to a free-for-all next year for lower-level teams like Front Row, throwing caution to the wind and taking plenty of risks. Orrrr he could just post two more eighth-place finishes at Talladega again and call it a year.
5. Brennan Poole (Premium Motorsports). Best race finish: 9th (Talladega). PRETTY grade: D+. Impressive that Brennan Poole raced all but one race in the same car for the same team with pretty much the same sponsor for most races. Will this lead to a better 2021? Well, probably not.
6. Quin Houff (StarCom Racing). Best race finish: 13th (Talladega). PRETTY grade: D-. 2020 was…not good for Quin. He had the lowest points total of any driver to compete in every race—and finished behind five drivers who missed races. He failed to post a single top-ten race finish, and prompted discussion about drivers being demoted or relegated to lower series from Cup. On the bright side…well, there really is no bright side. But at least the car usually looked bright!
Thursday, November 12, 2020
Yet another season is in the rearview—a season (and year) unlike any other. But the pain and suffering of 2020 isn’t over yet—Spade Racing continues with content!
The Final Rookie Ratings will be out this weekend. Then, there’ll be a “Lap Zero”-style piece coming out next weekend, followed by a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT the following week about a new side-project I’ve been asked to work on. Beyond that there’ll still be cards articles every Tuesday going straight into Speedweek(s), so keep it here for great Nascar content, even when there’s nothing going on!
UNCLE MAX VS. LAST YEAR’S WINNERS, FINAL STATS:
TRUCK SERIES 4 wins
XFINITY SERIES 4 wins
LAST YEAR’S WINNER 8 wins
FAVORITE: 2 wins
NEXT FAVORITE: 2 wins
DARK HORSE: 1 win