Tuesday, December 7, 2021

Spade Racing Opens Classic “Blaster Boxes” and Premiere Sets


Recently I acquired a collection of Nascar cards from the past thirty years.  Most of it was unopened “Blaster Boxes” (those things you see near checkout at big box stores) as well as a few early-90’s “Premiere Sets”.  Lets open them and see what’s inside!


Tracks 2007 Box 2 Part 2—Soul patch, a bad batch, and “got a match?”


FIRST LOOK: What’s more difficult to fathom—that a journeyman driver like Martin Truex Jr. would wind up a Cup Series champion?  Or that anyone thought that soul patches were a good idea in the 00’s?


TO THE BACK: Yikes—RoushFenway wasn’t exactly the best at finding development drivers, were they?


SAY WHAT: “If one more ‘fan’ makes fun of my buzzcut I’m gonna sic the Mears Gang on them.”


RATING: 3 roof flaps out of 10


Tuesday, November 30, 2021

Spade Racing Opens Classic “Blaster Boxes” and Premiere Sets


Recently I acquired a collection of Nascar cards from the past thirty years.  Most of it was unopened “Blaster Boxes” (those things you see near checkout at big box stores) as well as a few early-90’s “Premiere Sets”.  Lets open them and see what’s inside!


Tracks 2007 Box 2 Part 1—Trucks of old, Monster to scold, and solid gold


FIRST LOOK: Its a strange feeling to look back at someone like Timothy Peters and think of them as a member of the “old guard”.  Time marches on, and waits for no man.  Sorry to bring the party down.  Um, something something Bodines are funny?


TO THE BACK: Ryan Newman really whipped Miles the Monster (real name Miles Theodore Monstervicz).


SAY WHAT: “I’m gold.  My career is gold.  My race team is gold.  My investments are gold.  My reputation…well, probably more like high-grade aluminum.”


RATING: 5 stage points out of 10


Monday, November 29, 2021

52 Pickup Racing Faces Uncertain Future


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (Boogertown, North Carolina)


A year ago—almost exactly to the date—52 Pickup Racing was founded after fifty-two investors pooled their resources to start a NASCAR Cup race team.  Now, this team founded on a Charter found on the street and a dream, faces a very uncertain future.


“I’d love to have a more-positive outlook, but I can’t say for sure what’s going to happen in 2022”, said Herbert Perry, one of the team’s co-owners.  “Without a primary sponsor, a full roster of team members, a functional race shop, a track record of success, a contract to purchase new race cars, or any outside funding, we find ourselves in a very precarious position.”


“I’ve heard a lot about the future of the team, but I’m waiting to hear it directly from one of the fifty-two owners”, said T.B. Dee, the team’s driver for the 2021 season.  “I wish we could’ve done more, I do, but I feel that we really surprised some people out there with our consistency.  We showed up every week, qualified every week, and finished around 35th every week.  Not everybody can say that.”


“We want to give T.B. the kind of race car that can contend for lead-lap finishes, but to do that we need more money”, said Perry.  “We’ve already been pinching pennies around here so much we’re getting copper poisoning.”


“I’m a racer.  That’s what I am”, said Dee.  “If I have to go back to the Southern United Challenger Kings Series (SUCKS) or the Birmingham-Leeds Outlaw World Series (BLOWS), I will.  But I think I’ve proven I belong—I mean, I’ve already renewed my apartment lease here in North Carolina.”


Further information on the status of the team will be released as soon as it is known.


QUOTES: “Have race helmet, will travel.  But not too far, my daily driver has a real bad alignment.” —T.B. Dee, driver of the 52 Pickup Racing race car.


“If you bet on the 52 car to finish below 30th every weekend, you’re likely a wealthy man.  Heck, you could probably buy the team by now.” —Davy Hendricks, racing analyst, Sports Betting Daily


ABOUT 52 PICKUP RACING: 52 Pickup Racing is NASCAR Cup’s newest race team.  Based out of Boogertown North Carolina, the team employs up-and-coming driver T.B. Dee…but for how long?


For more information please visit the 52 Pickup Racing website at www.52pickupracing.com


For all media inquiries please contact Moxoc Media at moxoc(at)moxoc.com


Tuesday, November 23, 2021

Spade Racing Opens Classic “Blaster Boxes” and Premiere Sets


Recently I acquired a collection of Nascar cards from the past thirty years.  Most of it was unopened “Blaster Boxes” (those things you see near checkout at big box stores) as well as a few early-90’s “Premiere Sets”.  Lets open them and see what’s inside!


Tracks 2007 Box 1 Part 3—A silly hat, a card sans stat, and what is that?


FIRST LOOK: I mean, its cool that Marcos Ambrose has love for his home country, but who the heck wears a green-and-yellow bucket hat with a blue-and-red firesuit?


TO THE BACK: This card is a great way to avoid saying much of anything about a driver.  And far be it from me to criticize THIS driver in particular.


SAY WHAT: “Hike hut hike!  Time to throw this footingball for a field goal!”


RATING: 6 rain delays out of 10


Monday, November 22, 2021

52 Pickup Racing to Hold First-Ever “Yard Sale” on Saturday


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (Boogertown, North Carolina)


Following in the footsteps of several major race teams’ “Fan Days” and “Fan Club Carnivals”, 52 Pickup Racing will be holding its first ever “Yard Sale” for fans this upcoming weekend at its race shop in Boogertown, North Carolina.


“We’ve got some great deals here—look at all this Monday Cigarettes swag”, said Carl East, one of the fifty-two co-owners of 52 Pickup Racing, referring to the team’s now-former sponsor.  “These t-shirts are 100% cotton, and we have them at $5 each, 3 for $12—you can’t beat that deal.”


“I was up late last night pricing all the merchandise we have for sale”, said driver T.B. Dee.  “I put a listing on Craigslist so hopefully we get a few ‘yard sale pros’ who can take some of these old springs off our hands.  They’d make dandy lawn chairs.”

In addition to normal yard sale items like clothing, small appliances, and tungsten, items only from a race team are available for purchase.


“We have a whole race car for sale—a whole race car!” said East, pointing to the team’s primary race car for the 2021 NASCAR Cup season.  “Of course we had to return the engine to our leasing partner.  So if you buy it, you should probably bring a tow-truck.”


The yard sale starts at 8am Saturday—please, no early birds.  All purchases of $20 or more come with a free cup of water OR a signed T.B. Dee “hero card”.


QUOTES: “Pro tip—used lug nuts make great paper weights.  And at 5 cents each you can’t afford NOT to buy.” —T.B. Dee, driver of the 52 Pickup Racing race car.


“Most of this stuff goes out of date with the new 2022 rules package, so if you ever wanted to start a mid-level ARCA team, this is your opportunity.” —Carl East, co-owner of 52 Pickup Racing.


ABOUT 52 PICKUP RACING: 52 Pickup Racing is NASCAR Cup’s newest race team.  Based out of Boogertown North Carolina, the team employs up-and-coming driver T.B. Dee and asks that all yard sale patrons avoid blocking their neighbor’s driveway.


For more information please visit the 52 Pickup Racing website at www.52pickupracing.com


For all media inquiries please contact Moxoc Media at moxoc(at)moxoc.com


Tuesday, November 16, 2021

Spade Racing Opens Classic “Blaster Boxes” and Premiere Sets


Recently I acquired a collection of Nascar cards from the past thirty years.  Most of it was unopened “Blaster Boxes” (those things you see near checkout at big box stores) as well as a few early-90’s “Premiere Sets”.  Lets open them and see what’s inside!


Tracks 2007 Box 1 Part 2—In-between, the Truck Series mean, and ownership is keen


FIRST LOOK: Some newer fans might not remember this, but there was a period in-between the Dale Earnhardt Sr. and Pay Driver Bonanza at RCR.


TO THE BACK: I mean, four top-fives are nice—if you’re running for a mid-level team.  If you can’t pull off a win in a Cup-affiliated team, maybe this isn’t the field for you.  Then again, its better than sitting in an apartment in Delaware making snotty comments.


SAY WHAT: “They say I own this track.  Which is good, but why won’t anybody let me borrow against the equity?”


RATING: 4 restart zones out of 10


Monday, November 15, 2021

52 Pickup Racing, Monday Cigarettes to Part Ways


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (Boogertown, North Carolina)


52 Pickup Racing regrets to inform its fan base that as of the upcoming NASCAR Cup season finale, Monday Cigarettes will no longer be serving at the team’s primary sponsor into 2022.


“Its definitely a disappointment, but these things happen”, said Ray Hayworth, one of the fifty-two co-owners of 52 Pickup Racing.  “We thank Monday Cigarettes and everyone at Monday Tobacco for their generous support this year.  We wish we could’ve had a top-ten, top-twenty, or top-thirty finish to give them, but we’ll close out this season as strong as we can.”


“This is certainly a melancholy day for us”, said T.B. Dee, driver of the 52 Pickup Racing race car.  “Monday Cigarettes has done a lot for us, and I’d like to think that we’ve built some friendships that will last a lifetime.  But I’m already looking to the positives—look, I got ‘melancholy’ as my word of the day on my calendar.  I never knew what it meant.”


A representative for Monday Tobacco said that “…we are always looking to adjust and refine our marketing budget.  As of 2022, we will no longer be allocating any funds to the ‘OTHER’ portion of our expenditures.”


52 Pickup Racing is seeking new primary sponsors for the 2022 season.


QUOTES: “It’ll be tough not saying I’m the driver of the ‘#52 Monday Cigarettes race car’ anymore.  Who knew that cigarettes could be so difficult to quit?” —T.B. Dee, driver of the 52 Pickup Racing Monday Cigarettes race car.


“We have nowhere to go but up.  Unless, of course, we just stay here at the bottom.” —Ray Hayworth, co-owner of 52 Pickup Racing.


ABOUT 52 PICKUP RACING: 52 Pickup Racing is NASCAR Cup’s newest race team.  Based out of Boogertown North Carolina, the team employs up-and-coming driver T.B. Dee and would really, really, REALLY appreciate any sponsorship leads.


For more information please visit the 52 Pickup Racing website at www.52pickupracing.com


For all media inquiries please contact Moxoc Media at moxoc(at)moxoc.com


Thursday, November 11, 2021

Spade Racing Post Season Preview



Well, another season is in the books.  Granted nobody really uses books for record keeping anymore, but…anyways, what’s important is the season is over.  So here’s what’s on tap for the offseason:

—Cards will continue to be posted weekly (on Tuesday unless something comes up/I forget)

—52 Pickup Racing is rumored to be ready to sell their Charter.  Well, I still have a PR contract tied to that Charter, so I don’t think I’m going anywhere on that.

—Stay tuned on Twitter and Facebook for other posts on an irregular basis this offseason.

Believe it or not, next season is less than a 100 days away!  So don’t go anywhere, because the 2022 season has a new car, some new teams, and a race at a football stadium (for some reason).  So let’s hope 2022 is another fun and exciting year for Spade Racing!




UNCLE MAX VS. REPEAT WINNERS: FINAL STANDINGS


TRUCK SERIES 4 wins


XFINITY SERIES 2 wins


CUP SERIES


REPEAT WINNER 6 wins


FAVORITE 2 wins


NEXT FAVORITE 6 wins


DARK HORSE 3 wins


Next Favorite wins the nonexistent Spade Racing Trophy on the basis of a tiebreaker for picking the Championship winner.


Wednesday, November 10, 2021

Spade Racing Presents The Sophomores: FINAL 2021 RANKINGS



Last year Spade Racing took a look at the six drivers competing for Rookie of the Year.  This year we continue to look at that vaunted class (sans John Hunter Nemechek and Brennan Poole) as they strive to establish themselves while avoiding the “sophomore slump”.  Returning for 2021 is the PRETTY grade: Performance Relative to Equating Team’s Typical Year (its pretty much how well each driver is doing considering their equipment).  Here’s how things look now that the season has ended:


1. Christopher Bell (Joe Gibbs Racing).  Best finish: 1st (Daytona Road Course).  PRETTY grade: B.  C.Bell had a fantastic start to the season, followed by a solid if not spectacular rest of the year.  Kinda like most of my relationships.


2. Tyler Reddick (Richard Childress Racing).  Best finish: 2nd (Homestead).  PRETTY grade: A.  Here’s hoping that RCR can continue its rebound with the new cars in 2022.  But lets hope that the team doesn’t become TOO attractive, or we could have brothers as teammates.


3. Cole Custer (Stewart Haas Racing). Best finish: 10th (Talladega/Dover).  PRETTY grade: D+.  This was NOT a good year for anyone at SHR.  Issue is that its all relative—no wins for Harvick is bad, but not even remotely contending for Cole is bad.


4. Quin Houff (StarCom Racing).  Best finish: 19th (Talladega).  PRETTY grade: D-.  Well, I mean, at least nobody can ever outdo him in this ride.

Tuesday, November 9, 2021

Spade Racing Opens Classic “Blaster Boxes” and Premiere Sets



Recently I acquired a collection of Nascar cards from the past thirty years.  Most of it was unopened “Blaster Boxes” (those things you see near checkout at big box stores) as well as a few early-90’s “Premiere Sets”.  Lets open them and see what’s inside!


Tracks 2007 Box 1 Part 1—Kahne’s car, son of a star, and going far


FIRST LOOK: On the one hand I always liked this paint scheme—a nice interplay of red and white with some black accents.  On the other hand, that front splitter—YEESH.


TO THE BACK: So Steve(n) Wallace has two career Bristol starts, an average starting position of second, and one first.  So he started third in his other race.  Yay public school math skills.


SAY WHAT: "Ah, geez, the trash can’s so far away—what am I gonna do with this tear-away?"


RATING: 3 on-screen graphics out of 10


Monday, November 8, 2021

52 Pickup Racing Making Show Car Available for Special Events


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (Boogertown, North Carolina)


If you ever wanted to bring the excitement of NASCAR to your latest big event, here’s your chance!  52 Pickup Racing has a limited availability for its 2021 NASCAR Cup show car throughout the eastern United States.


“Bill France Sr. himself once said that fans ‘need to be able to touch it’”, said George Pennington, one of the fifty-two co-owners of 52 Pickup Racing.  “Well, now fans can do just that—they can touch, see, and hear a real-life NASCAR stock car.  Just don’t kick the tires, those things cost money.”


“Its always a thrill to be able to see an actual race car up close, without having to go to the race track”, said T.B. Dee, driver of the #52 Monday Cigarettes race car.  “Now fans all over can see one of our retired race cars at a grand opening, county fair, graduation party, confirmation, birthday party—you name it.”


The specific race car—nicknamed 52PU001 by the team—was retired from service after the final “plate” race of the year at Talladega.


“This is the same race car that scaled the high banks of Daytona and Talladega”, Pennington said.  “Plus it also ran at Pocono and California.  And we jerry-rigged it to run a few road courses.  What we’re trying to say is, this baby has some miles on it, and it can log a few more around your driveway for your 10th anniversary party next weekend.”


Those interested in renting the show car should contact 52 Pickup Racing through social media or phone—please, no walk ups.


QUOTES: “If you find some gum under the seat, please don’t touch it.” —T.B. Dee, driver of the 52 Pickup Racing Monday Cigarettes race car.


“We’re very negotiable on price, but we’re talking four-figures here.  We cannot go lower than $49.95.” —George Pennington, co-owner of 52 Pickup Racing.


ABOUT 52 PICKUP RACING: 52 Pickup Racing is NASCAR Cup’s newest race team.  Based out of Boogertown North Carolina, the team employs up-and-coming driver T.B. Dee and is looking for anyone with a flat-bed trailer available on Saturdays.


For more information please visit the 52 Pickup Racing website at www.52pickupracing.com


For all media inquiries please contact Moxoc Media at moxoc(at)moxoc.com


Sunday, November 7, 2021

Learn to Speak English the Denny Hamlin Way!


Last week Denny Hamlin unveiled a new word in his description of Chase Elliott fans, saying that they couldn’t think “straightly”.  Unbeknownst to most Nascar fans, Denny has been creating his own vocabulary for some time now.  Here’s a look at some entries in the Denny Hamlin Dictionary:


Straightly (adverb): to move in a relatively straight line, figuratively or literally.  Example: “The sponsors went straightly away from Matt Kenseth”


Focusment (noun): the act of placing an unusual amount of focus on something.  Example: “There is an unusual amount of focusment on Denny and Alex (Bowman) this weekend.”


Wallaced (verb): 1. to be collected in a wreck by Bubba Wallace trying to collect his own car.  Example: “We got Wallaced—now watch him cry in the post-race interview”.  2. (antiquated) to throw a water bottle at one’s rival.


Bowlock (verb): to impede the celebration of a competitor.  Example: “Even though I made the Championship 4 I’m going to Bowlock that guy right before his finish line interview.”


Joeyd (adverb): getting beaten by a driver (or drivers) who are exceedingly irritating.  Example: “I got Joyed by that goofy kid from Connecticut.”


Avoison (noun): 1. to skillfully avoid controversy in route to winning a championship.  Example: “We had some real avoision on the track today, we’re champions!”.  2. to skillfully avoid controversy in route to skirting Nascar’s team ownership limits.

Saturday, November 6, 2021

Nascar’s Next Gen Car—Facts and Features


Testing has been ramping up lately for Nascar’s “Next Gen” (formerly Gen-7) car, the latest incarnation of the standard stock car, slated to debut in the 2022 season.  With so many changes coming up and so much information coming in, here’s a quick rundown of what to expect in about a year:


—Aerodynamics will, as always, be a major focus of innovation, with changes due to come to the splitter, hood vents, side skirts, and even the debut of a rear diffuser.  There’s a lot to digest, but the long and short of it is this—more downforce should lead to more competitive racing and more passing.  Until Penske and JGR figure out loopholes in the rules and dirty air returns with a vengeance, that is.

Kurt Busch testing a
Next Gen prototype


—Continuing a process started with the “Car of Tomorrow”, the driver will be moved closer to the middle of the car, putting them further from the door and, by extension, further from any contact or damage.  This will continue Nascar’s attempts to protect drivers’ bodies and lives, but be prepared for this small change to somehow infuriate your 65-year-old uncle who claims Nascar died in 2001.


—The manual transmission will move from four gears to six gears, putting Nascar more in-line with touring car series around the world.  Still no automatic transmission, though—probably because, as we all know from Daytona USA, it has a few MPH slower top speed.


—Gas cans will be replaced with gas hoses connected to a tank behind the pit wall.  This should also lead to the “Gas Can Man” on the pit crew getting a new nickname, although “Man with the Hose” might sound awkward.


—And yes, there will be a brand-new type of wheel—three inches bigger in diameter, aluminum instead of steel, and one single lug nut instead of five.  This is the kind of thing that will seem bizarre at first, then become second-nature to fans after the first few races, even as Clint Bowyer hammers home the “challenge” well into mid-season.

Friday, November 5, 2021

The Hero Card Project--Part 5

Click Here for Part 4

 
Nascar’s unique in that there’s a pretty cool way to get a (relatively) free souvenir from virtually every team—the hero card.  For the uninitiated, Hero Cards are large, well, cards printed on, well, card stock, containing driver, car, and team information.  Big and glossy, they work great for autographs, or just to collect.

Now normally I can get a good selection of Hero Cards from team race shops or at the track in the garage.  But with the whole pandemic going on, that’s a no-go.  So instead I’m mailing out a slew of Self-Addressed-Stamped-Envelopes (SASE’s) to every major and minor race team in the three national touring series.

Who’ll be the first to respond?  Who’ll have the best Hero Cards?  Who’ll send the most?  Will anyone still have outdated 2020 info?  And will anyone slip in a few goodies or even an autograph?  SEE BELOW!


Here's the last two envelopes of hero cards I've gotten since Part 4 was published:


Three cards from RCR



A slew of cards from Venturini Motorsports

Thursday, November 4, 2021

Spade Racing presents Uncle Max vs. Repeat Winners: Phoenix Finale



Well, it allllll comes down to this—NEXT FAVORITE vs. REPEAT WINNERS.  Who will win?  Well, there’s not going to be a tie—I’m picking a Championship 4 driver. So its all or nothing for me at Phoenix—either my guy wins, or Repeat take the title.

For what its worth I’ll be going right into the holiday shopping season nuttiness at work right after this weekend, so I’ll count on my nephew to present a fair and balanced recap of my performance this year.  Remember—I don’t have to give you that employee/friends/family discount!


Friday Night TRUCK SERIES Lucas Oil 150 (4 wins): John Hunter Nemechek—much better finish than last weekend.


Saturday Night XFINITY SERIES Championship 200 (2 wins): Noah Gragson—Aggro-Grag!


Sunday CUP SERIES Championship Finale 500. Repeat winner (6 wins)—Alex Bowman.  FAVORITE (2 wins): Chase Elliott—picked a teammate.  NEXT FAVORITE (5 wins): Kyle Larson—and with that I would break the tie.  DARK HORSE (3 wins): Christopher Bell—nice way to bookend the season (kinda).


Wednesday, November 3, 2021

Spade Racing Opens Classic “Blaster Boxes” and Premiere Sets


Recently I acquired a collection of Nascar cards from the past thirty years.  Most of it was unopened “Blaster Boxes” (those things you see near checkout at big box stores) as well as a few early-90’s “Premiere Sets”.  Lets open them and see what’s inside!


Press Pass Premiere Part 3—Jeff’s young, Brett’s unsung, and what Derrike brung


FIRST LOOK: A *very* young Jeff Gordon points off into the distance.  Hey Jeff—take some advice from your future self and shave the mustache post-haste.  And possibly consider a prenup.


TO THE BACK: No, Brett, we all know you and Geoff are not the same person.  YOUR win came via a fluke scoring error.


SAY WHAT: “The only thing I don’t like about racing?  Having all those women banging down the door of my hotel room every night.  Oh, what a curse to be born beautiful”.


RATING: 2 90’s mustaches out of 10