Musically Declined: The Sequel (in more ways than one)



Last year we looked at two (in)famous Nascar/Country collaborations in Nascar Goes Country and Stock Car Racing’s Entertainers of the Year.  Both have well-earned notoriety in the racing world, but they’re not the beginning and end of Nascar’s crossover with the music world.


In 1995 Lonnie Hillard released the album “Race Tracks”, a CD full of racing-themed songs—but that’s not what we’re here to talk about today.  Because in 1997 Hillard released the sequel, “Race Tracks II”, featuring several Nascar stars performing.  So join me as we journey through this obscure trip down Nascar’s musical memory lane this year!



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The Nascar Xfinity Series on The CW—Breaking Down the Deal



On Friday the Nascar world was shocked by the announcement that, starting in 2025, the entire Nascar Xfinity Series would air on The CW.  Here’s a breakdown of the stunning deal.


The CW got its start as The WB,
aka That Channel Your Sister Watched
THE MONEY: Nascar will reportedly receive $115 Million dollars a year to air its second-tier series on The CW.  This is widely seen as a major step-up in rights-fees from what was expected, although “widely seen” in this case refers to the dozen or so people who care about racing on television beyond “(announcer’s name) sucks”.  This bodes well for Nascar’s forthcoming new Cup Series TV deals—which also come due after the 2024 season—meaning that Fox & NBC will likely have to pay more money to hold onto the races they have.  This also means that the “Nascar is dying” crowd will have to find something else to pin their negative hopes on.


THE TERM: The CW will have broadcast rights from 2025 through 2031—a seven-year run—for all 33 races on the schedule.  And yes, that means The CW will likely find itself trying to make household names out of Sammy Smith, Ryan Vargas, and Jeremy Clements.


THE PRODUCTION: For the first time Nascar will be producing the broadcasts themselves—reportedly The CW will have control over the commentators, but Nascar will have control over camera angles, graphics, and the like.  While this raises questions as to how objective Nascar’s crew will be in calling controversial moments—not to mention how competent they will be in simply producing the telecast in the first few races—let’s also keep in mind what this likely means: more commentators pretending to be at the track when they’re really in a production studio in North Carolina.  How will they pose them?  Green screen?  Bank of TV’s?  Or perhaps the lost art of the chroma-key to make them look 20 feet tall?


THE NETWORK: The CW is an over-the-air television network, meaning that if you have a TV, you can get it for free.  That’s right—whether it’s by cable, dish, streaming, or old-school antenna, YOU WILL GET THIS CHANNEL FOR FREE—here’s a list of affiliates, and here's where you can search by zip code.  So if you’ve been whining about not getting FS1 or USA, whine no mo—ok, more realistically, find something else to whine about.

The CW also has roots in UPN,
aka That Channel Nobody Watched
(unless it was Smackdown)


THE LOGIC: This really seems like the rare win-win-win-win all around.  For The CW, they get a proven commodity that, while its ratings aren’t stellar, brings in a steady stream of diehard fans.  For Nascar, they get far more money than they ever thought they’d get for the Xfinity Series.  For the race teams, they can now go to their sponsors and brag about getting far more exposure for them on network television.  And for fans, we’ll be able to watch the race wherever we are (The CW will also hold streaming rights) without having to wonder what channel it’s on every Saturday.


…so with all that being said, to The CW: welcome to Nascar, and PLEASE GET THE BROADCAST TEAM RIGHT!!!


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Nascar Race Picks: Uncle Max vs. The Tarot Deck—Richmond/Road America



I gotta keep this short—we have inventory at work next week, and guess who’s been put in charge of getting everything ready?  For those of you who’ve never done it, “The I Word” is the equivalency to an IRS audit, except that instead of possibly going to jail, you’re possibly going to lose your job.  Funny thing is, even though I’ve done these yearly for the past decade, they STILL freak me out.


Saturday Night  TRUCK SERIES (2 wins) WWEX 250: Corey Heim—it’s…ugh…”Heim Time”.


Saturday Afternoon XFINITY SERIES (1 win) Henry 180: Daniel Hemric—staking his claim to the Cup 31 car.


Sunday CUP SERIES Cook Out 400:  The Tarot Deck (1 win) selects the Eight of Swords, 28th in points Erik Jones.  FAVORITE: Kyle Larson—retribution for last week. NEXT FAVORITE (1 win): Denny Hamlin—absolution for last week.  DARK HORSE: Daniel Suarez—the solution to make the playoffs.



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Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2021-22 Panini Prizm Nascar Cards, Pack 10 of 12


Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2022 Panini Prizm Nascar Cards.  Because there’s 12 cards per pack, each pack is split in two.


Pack 10 Part 2—Illumination, Sixth-Place Celebration, and Duplication


FIRST LOOK: As someone who enjoys psychedelic artwork I LOVE the pattern on the background of this card.  Too bad they paired it with a guy with the personality of a Rothko painting.


TO THE BACK: Yep, sixth place in a random race is always cause for celebration


SAY WHAT: “I’m the real Jimmie Johnson!” “No, I am—you’re Jimmy Jonstone!”


RATING: 3 backup cars out of 10

Musically Declined: Soundgarden, Kyle Petty, Son of Richard



Kyle Petty—racer, philanthropist, commentator, and musician!  Kyle’s musical exploits have been going on since the 80’s, but just how good are they?  Let’s take a look back at the songs of Nascar’s favorite long-haired scion.


The Song: Kyle Petty, Son of Richard


The Star: Soundgarden


The Clip: https://youtu.be/Ut5OICLYq0I (WARNING: NSFW!)


The Review: Let’s wrap up the Kyle Petty portion of “Musically Declined” with a song ABOUT Kyle Petty.  Well, sorta.  This rarity from Soundgarden seems to be a pretty standard tale about a son using lessons from his father to take on the world, and most-likely was given its title at the last minute.  Still, it don’t make it bad.


The Verdict: A good song even if it has little to do with Kyle himself.



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Race Shop Reviews--Massive Update!

 For anyone who doesn't know, I have another website Race Shop Reviews, the world's #1 source for Nascar race shop information.  Unfortunately, due to COVID restrictions, the site had been more or less dormant since 2019.  But a few weeks ago I was able to revisit the race shops. Now, the site returns with all new reviews!



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Nascar Race Picks: Uncle Max vs. The Tarot Deck—Pocono



Blame it on the rain—I finally got a “Next Favorite” win!  I gotta say that these Monday afternoon races are pretty irritating, though.  I mean, I don’t work a traditional schedule (nights, weekends and holidays are the norm for me) but how many people can actually watch a race on a Monday at 12pm Eastern, 9am Pacific?  Then again, when a track doesn’t have lights, I don’t know when they could reschedule it for, unless they start holding Sunday MORNING races for more of a weather cushion.  Hmmm, “Breakfast with Nascar”, hey it could work.

Speaking of which, I spent most of Sunday watching the Wimbledon men’s final.  Not many people know this about me, but I played a little tennis in high school.  Well, I was on the team for three years, but I only played a little—best I ever got was backup for 2nd boys’ doubles.  On the plus side, well, I guess there were no plus sides beyond getting to be on a co-ed varsity team.


Saturday Early Afternoon TRUCK SERIES (2 wins) CRC 150: Ross Chastain—A Melon Grows in Long Pond.


Saturday Late Afternoon XFINITY SERIES (1 win) Pocono Mountains 225: Chase Elliott—he needs a win in CUP, but this one doesn’t hurt.


Sunday CUP SERIES HighPoint 400:  The Tarot Deck (1 win) selects the Queen of Swords, last week’s winner Martin Truex Jr.  FAVORITE: Chase Elliott—now THIS is the win he needs. NEXT FAVORITE (1 win): Ross Chastain—would this count as a sweep?  DARK HORSE: Kevin Harvick—feel-good win’s gotta come sometime.


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Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2021-22 Panini Prizm Nascar Cards, Pack 10 of 12


Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2022 Panini Prizm Nascar Cards.  Because there’s 12 cards per pack, each pack is split in two.



Pack 10 Part 1—Composition, What Position?, and an Imposition


FIRST LOOK: I love Bubba’s “Composition Notebook”-style face mask!  Its sure to get him some media attention, which is sorely missing—I mean, they hardly ever show him on TV!


TO THE BACK: Uh yeah—when your blurb has nothing to do with your racing success, that’s NOT a good sign.


SAY WHAT: “Oh great, here comes Spencer Gallagher looking to give me some ‘racing advice’ again”.


RATING: 2 associate sponsors out of 10

Track “Facts”: Pocono



Nascar races on all sorts of tracks, from short to long, oval to road course, concrete to asphalt.  Here’s a bi-weekly look at all the tracks of Nascar’s National Touring Series.


POCONO RACEWAY


2.5 mile asphalt triangle


Opened 1971


Lights?  No


Series: Cup, Xfinity, Trucks


Nicknames: The Tricky Triangle, What Turn 4?, The Last of the Independent Tracks (kinda)


THREE FUN FACTS:

1. Pocono is one of the strangest tracks on the circuit—only three turns, located in resort country, and it used to have its two races only about six weeks apart from each other.


2. Almost completely surrounded by forest, Pocono has seen a fair number of intrusions over the years.  Everything has made its way onto the track—deer, rabbits, turtles, foxes, and even a drunk!


3. Similar to Watkins Glen, Pocono Raceway is important to the sport’s business arm due to its proximity to New York City.  However, unlike Watkins Glen, Pocono is only about two and a half hours away by car—not factoring in NYC traffic, highway volume, or the interminable wait to enter the track on Long Pond Road.




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Mother Nature Takes Points Lead



With the Nascar Cup regular season entering its “home stretch” before the playoffs, two drivers have emerged as dominant forces—William Byron of Hendrick Motorsports, and Mother Nature of Weather Racing.

“It’s been a real breakthrough year to be sure”, Mother Nature said from her race shop in Mooresville North Carolina.  “After a few years where we were kind of treading water, we’ve really started to bloom.  And other such analogies.”

Mother Nature has posted several strong performances this year, but has excelled in races held in the late afternoon. 

“It’s just simple physics—I get better later in the day”, Nature explained.  “When the track heats up and the air gets thick, that’s when I dominate.  Thankfully most races start around 3:30pm Eastern Time for some reason.”

Mother Nature took the points lead away from William Byron with her dominant performance last week at Atlanta Motor Speedway.

“Sure, Atlanta is technically as ‘plate track’ nowadays, but I have experience there”, Nature boasted.  “I mean, think about how many Daytona 500s I’ve been strong in lately.  Our super speedway program is really firing on all cylinders.

Heading into the playoffs, it remains to be seen if Mother Nature can keep up her torrid pace.

“Things always get tougher for all of us at Weather Racing in the autumn, but we still have a good shot at the championship”, Nature said.  “I feel confident that when we get to the ROVAL, you’ll be seeing Kim Coon awkwardly killing time interviewing Todd Gilliland.”


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Nascar Race Picks: Uncle Max vs. The Tarot Deck—New Hampshire



The sunburn is gone, the townhouse is back in order, the work schedule is back on…schedule.  You know what that means: Yep, it’s the “dog days” of summer.

Unless you’re a kid or a teacher, summer doesn’t mean much to you.  It’s just a few months when it stays light out later and your air conditioner works harder.  One of these days I’d like to take more than a few weeks off, go somewhere in the mountains, and REALLY enjoy the summer.  Then again, I’ve also been saying that I want a convertible for the past twelve years and nothing doing.

Meanwhile, my picks continue to suck.  Here’s hoping I can turn it around this week, or at least before the Playoffs start.  If not, out comes the dartboard!


TRUCK SERIES (2 wins)—off


Saturday Afternoon XFINITY SERIES (1 win) Ambetter 200: Joe Graf Jr.—hopefully by picking an underdog I am better at my picks (sorry).


Sunday CUP SERIES Crayon 301:  The Tarot Deck (1 win) selects the Nine of Swords, 29th in points Austin Dillon.  FAVORITE: Joey Logano—home-track win. NEXT FAVORITE: Martin Truex Jr.—home track win.  DARK HORSE: Chris Buescher—home team co-owner win.



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Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2021-22 Panini Prizm Nascar Cards, Pack 9 of 12


Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2022 Panini Prizm Nascar Cards.  Because there’s 12 cards per pack, each pack is split in two.



Pack 9 Part 2—A Career-Long Flow, a Young’n Who Can Go, and Laser Show


FIRST LOOK: Give Smoke credit—despite his multitude of sponsors upon leaving JGR, he kept his look despite years of stress and strife.  And that look was usually “on my worst day I can still beat you, and you’re about to see it”.


TO THE BACK: While I have high hopes for Sam Mayer, he really does need to start showing some improvement in 2022.  If not, well, he might go from being the next Chase Elliott to being the next Casey Atwood.


SAY WHAT: “Really?  Huh, I always thought Laser was spelled with a Z”.


RATING: 8 racing seats out of 10


Track “Facts”: Talladega



Nascar races on all sorts of tracks, from short to long, oval to road course, concrete to asphalt.  Here’s a bi-weekly look at all the tracks of Nascar’s National Touring Series.


TALLADEGA SUPERSPEEDWAY


2.66 mile asphalt tri-oval superspeedway


Opened 1969


Lights?  No


Series: Cup, Xfinity, Trucks


Nicknames: ‘Dega, Home of the One Race Wonders


THREE FUN FACTS:

1. Talladega is said to be cursed (of the Native American variety), which could have led to a number of bizarre events at the track, including an opening-weekend boycott, a driver quitting a race because “a voice told (him) to”, and a win by Phil Parsons.


2. The start-finish line is located halfway between the tri-point of the tri-oval (where it is located at Daytona) and turn one.  While this was done, in theory, to allow tickets to be sold at a premium away from the center of the frontstretch, it may have just been to give Mike Joy something to ramble about every spring.


3. According to legend, after Darlington introduced the slogan “The Track Too Tough to Tame”, Talladega wanted to adopt the slogan “The Track Too Tough to F—- With”.  The fact that they didn’t actually try this is one of the sport’s greatest tragedies.



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