Nascar Race Picks: Uncle Max vs. The Tarot Deck—Talladega



Yet another win for William Byron, which was yet another win that I didn’t pick.  I ain’t gonna lie—I’m disappointed with my picks this year, or, more specifically, my results.  And to make matters worse, this week is Talladega, aka The Roulette Wheel.  Ugh.

On the plus side, my work is set up for the holidays.  So now I can go back to focusing on what really matters—winning my fantasy football league and turning things around here with my picks.  I mean, things have to turn around for me, right? RIGHT?!?


Saturday Afternoon TRUCK SERIES (2 wins) Love’s 250—Hailie Deegan—why not?


XFINITY SERIES (3 wins) —off


Sunday CUP SERIES EchoPark 400:  The Tarot Deck (1 win) selects the Three of Cups, 13th in points Kevin Harvick.  FAVORITE: Kyle Busch—rebounding from last week with a push from Austin Dillon. NEXT FAVORITE (1 win): Bubba Wallace—rebounding from last week with a push from Tyler Reddick.  DARK HORSE: Justin Haley—rebounding from the past few years with a push from The Dinger.



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Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2023 Donruss Cards, Pack 6 of 24



Pack 6: Decker things, Race Kings, and what Rusty brings


FIRST LOOK: I don’t know WHY Natalie Decker keeps getting so many cards in these sets, but that’s a nice tribute to Dr. Clayton Forrester on her firesuit.


TO THE BACK: Here’s a look at the copy written for one of the Race Kings subset.  Good advice for whenever someone tells you to “stay in your lane”.


SAY WHAT: “I tell ya, these cats forget that I brought the Miller sponsorship”


RATING: 4 lug nuts out of 10



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Musically Declined: Lonnie Hillard’s Race Tracks II, Follow Me



Stock Car Racing and Country Music—two pillars of culture in the Southern United States.  And the two have mingled throughout the years.  So put on your racing shoes, make sure they match your cowboy hat, and settle in for a look back at some of Nascar’s biggest stars turned Nashville wannabes!


The Song: Follow Me


The Stars: Bobby Allison, Brett Bodine, & Derrike Cope


The Clip: 



The Review: Perhaps its no coincidence that the track with the most drivers on it is performed “chorus-style” with a bunch of background singers.  As for the song itself, well, I mean, the TITLE is accurate—drivers implore the listener to follow them.


The Verdict: The best so far…yeah, that’s not saying much.



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Get to Know: Carson Hocevar



Over the past three weeks Carson Hocevar has turned heads with his Cup Series performance, notching three straight top-twenties in the Legacy MC 42 car.  Here’s some “fun” “facts” about the driver who could be Nascar’s next big thing:


—Carson is currently third in points in the Truck Series with three race wins, all coming this year.  Don’t be embarrassed if you didn’t notice—the whining of Matt DiBenedetto fans tends to drown out all other Truck Series news.


—Last year Hocevar’s 42 team returned to competition with Ty Dillon, meaning that almost ANYONE would’ve been an improvement this year.  Annnnnd then they hired Noah Gragson.


—Hocevar has also made some Xfinity Series starts this year, posting a pair of top-tens for Spire Motorsports, which seems to be morphing into the modern version of Billy Ballew Motorsports.


—Carson was mentored by Johnny Benson, so you KNOW he knows all about important racing-related info like cereal and glasses.


—Since debuting in the Truck Series in 2019, an average of 65% of people correctly mispronounce his name, with common mistakes being “Carson Hockeyvur”, “Carson Hoseaver”, and “Zane Smith”.


—As with all Legacy MC drivers, Hocevar has been forced to pretend to be a Las Vegas Raiders fan.


—Carson’s plans for 2024 are unknown as of this writing, but here’s hoping he winds up someplace better than being one of Spire Motorsports’ seven or so Cup drivers next year.



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Nascar Race Picks: Uncle Max vs. The Tarot Deck—Texas



You know something? Setting up holiday stuff in September doesn’t exactly put me in the Christmas mood.  To be fair holidays have never been a big deal for me, but I always make sure my nieces and nephews get their card and check every December (EDITOR’S NOTE: I can vouch for that).

I know I say this every year, but folks: be kind to retail workers.  If you see them setting something up in an aisle, just go around to a different aisle unless you absolutely cannot.  If you have to return something, remember that the company sets the policy, not the clerks.  And if the store opens at 9am, don’t show up at 8:45 tapping on the doors—9am MEANS 9am.

But let me get off my soap box—its time for picks, and hopefully FINALLY time for a comeback.


TRUCK SERIES (2 wins)—off


Saturday Afternoon XFINITY SERIES (2 wins) Andy’s Frozen Custard 300: John Hunter Nemechek—enjoying the best equipment while he still can.


Sunday CUP SERIES EchoPark 400:  The Tarot Deck (1 win) selects the Ten of Swords, 30th in points Chase Briscoe.  FAVORITE: Kyle Busch—and he won’t even need to wreck anyone under yellow to do it. NEXT FAVORITE (1 win): Chris Buescher—who’d have thought that RFK would overtake SHR?  DARK HORSE: Chase Elliott—reminding everyone that he exists, is popular, and can win.



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Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2023 Donruss Cards, Pack 5 of 24



Pack 5: Too sweet to be sour, an announcer does cower, and numbered power


FIRST LOOK: Good on Jesse for having a smile on his face while his sponsor royally screws him over.


TO THE BACK: Yep, Clint’s just a man of the people! A man who also knowingly cheated and, by doing so, participated in the destruction of a race team, but a man nonetheless …who never talks about it on-air.


SAY WHAT: “Good for you, number 76 out of 199!”


RATING: 2 caution laps out of 10




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Track “Facts”: Las Vegas




Nascar races on all sorts of tracks, from short to long, oval to road course, concrete to asphalt.  Here’s a bi-weekly look at all the tracks of Nascar’s National Touring Series.


LAS VEGAS MOTOR SPEEDWAY


1.5 mile asphalt tai-oval


Opened 1996


Lights?  Yes


Series: Cup, Xfinity, Trucks


Nicknames: America’s Racing Showplace, Home of the Neon Garage, luhvumiss


THREE FUN FACTS:

1. Las Vegas Motor Speedway has a number of unique traditions, including awarding the winner a championship belt (a la boxing or wrestling) as opposed to a trophy.  Its a bit like Martinsville except more modern and much duller.


2. LVMS was built at the height of Bruton Smith’s obsession with quad-ovals.  These tracks exemplify the issue with “cookie cutter” intermediate tracks—very similar, dull action, and they still make money for their owner.


3. The rave festival The Electric Daisy Carnival has been held at the track, following in the footsteps of other tracks to host music festivals such as Watkins Glen, Dover, and Altamont.



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Kaulig Racing Tabs Daniel Hemric for Cup Ride for Some Reason



This is a parody


Preparing for a season of change in 2024, Kaulig Racing has solidified one of its Cup cars for next year, putting Daniel Hemric in the 31 Chevy for some reason.

“We needed someone for the ride, and Daniel was already under contract, so I guess he’s as good a choice as any”, said team spokesman Herb Schultz at Bristol today.  “I mean, SOMEone needs to drive the car, so why not Hemric, right?”

Hemric, who has a single win across 235 national touring series starts, seemed mildly pleased with the decision.

“Oh, the Cup ride?  Yeah, that’s pretty good, I guess”, Hemric said from the team’s hauler this morning.  “Let’s see if we can get some top-20s next year, maybe a top-ten or two.  I mean a ride’s a ride.”

The elevation of Hemric from Xfinity back to Cup full-time has been called “The Move That Happened” by several of the sport’s insiders.

“When you have a team that needs a driver, that team will usually hire someone”, said local sportswriter David Abrams.  “And having a driver—no matter who it is—tends to be better than not having a driver at all.”

The team must now decide what to do with the number 16 car for next season.

“We’ve looked at a number of options for the 16”, Schultz said.  “We feel that AJ (Allmendinger) offers a certain baseline of performance, but we might consider taking a ‘flyer’ on someone who’s a bit less of a known quantity.  But regardless of who we choose, you can be sure that there will be a driver of some esteem in the 31 next year, and that will be Daniel Hedrick—I mean, Hemric.”



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Nascar Race Picks: Uncle Max vs. The Tarot Deck—Bristol



As we head into Bristol, we also head into the fall.  And while at my old job location that would mean dealing with a million questions about why we already had our holiday stuff up (we were the model store for the region, alright?), now it means getting READY for the holidays at work in September.  So the next time you hear from me I’ll be stuck putting up Christmas trees, garland, and window displays that have been gathering dust in the back room for the past nine months.

On the plus side, this distracts me from my terrible start to the year in my fantasy football league.  Yeah, it’s only one game, but I run the whole league—I’m supposed to be the best.  The comeback should be in effect this weekend (I’m playing the league’s newest/worst participant), but if not I could find myself doing worse there than I do in my Nascar picks this year.


Thursday Night TRUCK SERIES (2 wins) UNOH 200—Zane Smith—reminding everyone that he deserves a Cup ride in 2024—no, not the 51 car.


Friday Night XFINITY SERIES (2 wins) Food City 300: Dale Earnhardt Jr.—yeah it’s a wild pick, but anything can happen at Bristol.  Now watch him not qualify.


Saturday Night CUP SERIES Bass Pro Shops 500:  The Tarot Deck (1 win) selects the Three of Cups, 13th in points Martin Truex Jr.  FAVORITE: Kevin Harvick—who posts the feel-good win of the year?  “IT’S HARVICK!”. NEXT FAVORITE (1 win): Chris Buescher—hopefully this makes up for not picking him more-often.  DARK HORSE: Ty Gibbs—rookie spin, rookie win?



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Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2023 Donruss Cards, Pack 4 of 24



Pack 4: Brown, a missing crown, and some renown 


FIRST LOOK: The switch from Ford to UPS sponsorship was definitely a shocker for Dale Jarrett fans, but the “Ford Credit” logo on the side is just YUCK.  Its like a boutonniere on a tuxedo shirt.


TO THE BACK: Maybe THAT’S why Mark never won a championship—not enough lucky pennies.


SAY WHAT: “I’ve done alright for myself.  At least I’ve done better than Paul Menard.”


RATING: 7 scoring pylons out of 10




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A MOXOC Media production

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