Monday, August 8, 2022

SPAD3 RACING FORMS ALLIANCES WITH FORMULA 1 TEAMS


Special Protective Advance Defense Department Detachment (SPAD3) Racing has taken on a decidedly international flair lately, forming several alliances with Formula 1 teams and suppliers.

"Bengal Tiger"

“We’re always happy to work with anyone who shares the same goals as us”, said team principal Kent Simms.  “By gaining crucial information from around the globe, we don’t think there will be anything stopping us.”

The team was surprisingly coy about revealing what team or teams they are actually working with.

“Well, we don’t have all the contracts taken care of yet”, Simms explained, “but we do have a guest from one of our new partners—Bengal Tiger, come over here!”

“Thank you Ice Bear”, the man known only as Bengal Tiger said.  “I’m glad to be working with such a…fine, upstanding organization.  I hope that by working together, we can help eliminate our common enemies, by which I mean losing.”

Bengal Tiger continued by saying, “This is a message for Green Panther—if Titan has rendezvous, continue as planned with Operation Viking.  If not, eliminate Titan at once.”

The team said they plan to formally announce their partners after a summit meeting this upcoming weekend.

“We have big plans ahead”, Simms said, “and the racing media will know about them all in due time.”


To keep up with SPAD3 Racing, visit SPAD3.com


Sunday, August 7, 2022

3 in Their Third: A Monthly Spade Racing Series—August Report



Two years ago there were six rookie drivers.  Last year four of them returned for their sophomore seasons.  This year the three best are back once again for their third seasons in Cup—and just like over the past two years, we’ll be ranking them here at Spade Racing.

Just like in years past we’ll be utilizing the PRETTY grade—Performance Relative to Equating Team’s Typical Year—as a way to properly rank someone from a top-flight team like Joe Gibbs Racing against someone from a top-flight slumping team like Stewart-Haas Racing against someone from a mid-level operation like RCR.

Here’s where our three guys stack up heading into Road America:


1.) Tyler Reddick (Richard Childress Racing).  2022 Best Race Finish: 1st (Road America & Indy). PRETTY Grade: A+.  Reddick gets the higher ranking AND the higher PRETTY grade seeing as how he’s outpacing teammate Austin Dillon by a decent margin.  And with a win in the books, now Reddick has over a year of awkwardness at RCR to look forward to!


2.) Christopher Bell (Joe Gibbs Racing).  2022 Best Race Finish: 1st (New Hampshire).  PRETTY Grade: A.  Its nice to see C.Bell turning up the wick, and possibly being a spoiler in the 2022 Playoffs.  Then again, its not-so-nice to have it happen when a fellow third-year competitor is arguably the hottest driver in the sport.


3.) Cole Custer (Stewart-Haas Racing).  2022 Best Race Finish: 9th (Atlanta & Indy).  PRETTY Grade: D.  With C.Bell establishing himself as a threat to win, and T.Reddick breaking through at the Cup level (with a new ride in the future), Cole is just kind of…there.



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Friday, August 5, 2022

UNCLE MAX vs. REPEAT WINNERS vs. THE ROULETTE WHEEL: Michigan



Figures—I get back from being sick, finally get back into the groove at work, and BOOM—sick again.  And I do mean “BOOM”—yeah, it was, um, stomach-related.  Thankfully I’m back on my feet but its no fun trying to recover at home when all you have to eat are frozen pancakes, cans of Chickarina soup, and beef patties covered in freezer burn.

As for my work review, well, it seems like things will be progressing normally—nothing too bad, nothing too great, just staying the course.  The cost-of-living increase starting in September will be a nice change, and I think my “make good” for the summer will cover my preparations for my fantasy football draft—again, assuming I don’t get sick for a third time in six weeks!


TRUCK SERIES—off


Saturday Afternoon XFINITY SERIES New Holland 250 (6 wins): Noah Gragson—heating up for the Playoffs.


Sunday CUP SERIES FireKeepers 400: LAST RACE’S WINNER picks Tyler Reddick.  THE ROULETTE WHEEL picks 15th in points Chase Briscoe.  FAVORITE (2 wins): Ryan Blaney—winning his way into the Playoffs.  NEXT FAVORITE (2 wins): Kyle Larson—winning his way into the points lead.  DARK HORSE (2 wins): Daniel Suarez—winning his way into not being a one-win wonder.


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Tuesday, August 2, 2022

Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2022 Donruss Nascar Cards, Pack 11 of 24



Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2022 Donruss Nascar Cards.  New teams, new drivers, new subsets, and of course some corny commentary by me.


Pack 11—Metal Fleck, Football Dreck, and an F1 Reject


FIRST LOOK:
The foil-like look of the Elite cards looks good in person, but doesn’t shine through (pun intended) in pictures.  Sorry, but I took pottery in high school.


TO THE BACK:
Both of these cards (note the gray variant in the first pic) have the same drivel from Bill Parcells, a man with zero connection to racing.  And why is “Kyle” in quotation marks—its his name.  If anything they should be around Duane “Bill” Parcells.


SAY WHAT:
“Sorry, my PR people say I can’t talk to anyone anymore.”


RATING: 6 pit stops out of 10



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Monday, August 1, 2022

Musically Declined: Stock Car Racing’s Entertainers of the Year, I’m Puttin’ You in My Rear View


Stock Car Racing and Country Music—two pillars of culture in the Southern United States.  And the two have mingled throughout the years.  So put on your racing shoes, make sure they match your cowboy hat, and settle in for a look back at some of Nascar’s biggest stars turned Nashville wannabes!


The Song: I’m Puttin’ You in My Rear View by Mark Morell


The Star: Buddy Baker


The Clip: 



The Review: And we finally have it—a repeat singer from “Nascar Goes Country”.  Buddy was the best on that album, but you can tell his voice has aged pretty quickly in the past decade.  Then again, it doesn’t help that his song is about…drafting.  Seriously—its not an analogy for anything, its just a song about passing someone by using the slingshot pass.


The Verdict: Nice try Buddy, but stick to Butterbeans.


Sunday, July 31, 2022

Nascar Criticized for “Dusty Finish” at Pocono


Nascar officials have been getting more than their fair share of criticism for how their race was booked on Sunday, with scores of experts bashing the use of an ambiguous “Dusty Finish” at Pocono.

“Its, ah, finishes like this that, um, show how bankrupt Nascar is on the, uh, creative side of things”, said pundit Don Beltzer, longtime publisher of the Pro Racing Observer.  “There’s, uh, no way things will get back to, ah, how Nascar was in its prime, unless, uh, they return to running exhibition races in, ah, Japan.”

The term “Dusty Finish” (named after frequent user Dusty Rhodes), refers to a race or match that ends one way, only for that result to be overturned soon afterwards.  The usage of “Dusty Finishes” has been criticized for years by the Internet Motorsports Community.

“This is worse than those Indy 500 finishes that took months to decide”, said NascarInsider writer Mark Johnston.  “You can’t insult the fans’ intelligence like this by disqualifying a driver only AFTER most of the fans have left the track.  I mean, this isn’t the 90’s where you were trying to drive fans to the Nascar 1-900 line for scoops.”

The final decision—which stripped the win from Denny Hamlin and second place from teammate Kyle Busch—has been roundly mocked by numerous fans and experts.

“I haven’t seen anything like this since Emmanuel Zervakis in 1960”, said longtime racing wag Will Bapter.  “I don’t want to cast too many aspersions here, but its moves like this that allow conspiracy theories to form.”

When reached for comment, Nascar would not confirm or deny that the race win had been “held up” and would be fought for in a ladder match at Michigan.



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Friday, July 29, 2022

UNCLE MAX vs. REPEAT WINNERS vs. THE ROULETTE WHEEL: Indy



Well I gotta keep this one pretty short—I got my annual review coming up at work in a few hours!  The district manager is here and the regional manager will be patched-in via Zoom to go over what I’ve done over the past twelve months.  This could mean a promotion, a raise, both…or nothing.  Wish me luck!


Friday Night TRUCK SERIES T Sport 200: Ben Rhodes—note that this race is at LORP, not IMS.


Saturday Afternoon XFINITY SERIES Pennzoil 150 (5 wins): AJ Allmendinger—always a good choice at Indy.


Sunday CUP SERIES Verizon 200: LAST RACE’S WINNER picks Chase Elliott.  THE ROULETTE WHEEL picks 28th in points Brad Keselowski.  FAVORITE (2 wins): Ross Chastain—putting controversy behind him, or punting Denny out of the way?  NEXT FAVORITE (2 wins): Kyle Larson—challenging his teammate for the regular season title (whatever THAT’S worth).  DARK HORSE (2 wins): Aric Almirola—shades of Kasey Kahne winning near the end of his career.



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