Tuesday, June 28, 2022

Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2022 Donruss Nascar Cards, Pack 6 of 24



Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2022 Donruss Nascar Cards.  New teams, new drivers, new subsets, and of course some corny commentary by me.


Pack 6—An Old “Rookie”, a Tough Cookie, and a Bad Look-y


FIRST LOOK:
On what planet is a late-30s B.J. McLeod considered a “Rated Rookie”?


TO THE BACK:
Here we see another reference to Chase Elliott’s road course exploits.  Dude loved by old-timers knows how to win on tracks that old-timers think are ruining the sport.


SAY WHAT:
“My belt has my name on it.  Huh, kinda odd now that I think about it.”


RATING: 8 Elliott family members out of 10


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Monday, June 27, 2022

SPAD3 RACING TESTING MYSTERIOUS NEW FUEL


Special Protective Advance Defense Department Detachment (SPAD3) Racing has turned some heads in the NASCAR world this year as the series’ newest team.  Today it was because of an announcement of a mysterious new racing fuel the team has been developing all year.

First test of the new fuel

“This new fuel is far more efficient than your standard fossil-based racing fuel” said team engineer Bart Williams.  “Race cars can get up to 12 miles a gallon on this stuff—and it has relatively few side-effects.”

“Look, everybody hates the smell of gasoline, right?”, said team public relations director Stacey Fox.  “Well, this fuel isn’t just clean-burning—its clean-SMELLING too.  You’ll barely even notice its there as you become docile and compliant.”

The team’s secretive yet robust research-and-development program has been working on several projects, most of which have yet to be revealed in full to the general public.

“We’re hoping to submit this racing fuel concept to NASCAR for approval by the end of the calendar year”, Williams said.  “Once they see this in action they’ll have no choice but to agree to it, as well as some other things we’re working on, like our weather-disruption device—no more rain delays!”

As to the contents, source, and methodology behind the fuel itself, that remains a closely-guarded trade secret.

“I’m not at liberty to discuss the source of this amazing new technology”, Fox said.  “But I’m sure that once the racing public catches wind of its benefits, nobody will care where it came from.”


Visit SPAD3.com to apply for a free sample!


Sunday, June 26, 2022

Nascar on NBC/USA—What to Look For



Today sees Nascar Cup & Xfinity coverage switch from Fox to NBC & USA for the rest of the season.  Here’s a few things to watch out for:


—Cable coverage switches from the now-defunct NBCSN to USA, aka That Channel You Used to Watch Wrestling On.  Nascar is expected to benefit from regular lead-ins of Law & Order reruns.


—Yeah, most of the races will be on cable, but really, who cares?  If the races were on NBC you’d just complain about super-short post-races anyways.


—We’re looking at the same four regulars in the booth this year, with Rick Allen on play-by-play, Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Jeff Burton as driver analysts, and Steve LeTarte questioning everyone’s pit strategy.


—Kim Coon joins the pit reporter roster, so be prepared for lots of creepy online comments from old guys.


—Pre- and post-race coverage will feature the usual mix of an ex-NBA player, a former logistics provider pitchman, a philanthropist with a ponytail, and Marty Snider.


—Supplemental coverage will be on Peacock, but don’t worry—if you have Xfinity, you have Peacock at no extra charge.  You’re also probably currently waiting for a service tech to show up.


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Friday, June 24, 2022

UNCLE MAX vs. REPEAT WINNERS vs. THE ROULETTE WHEEL: Nashville



Well, I’m back.  I mean, in actually I got back from vacation last week, but there wasn’t much to write about beyond a random Truck Series race on dirt.

Who set up the rule that you must walk into a complete disaster at work as soon as you return from vacation?  Products aren’t where they belong, paperwork’s backed up, and I’ve spent the past few days trying to figure out what happened to two of our employees.  Its a disaster, I tells ya.

On the plus side I got a pretty nice tan at the beach, got some drinking done, and got to show off my grilling skills.  So I guess its a wash.  Which reminds me, I got a TON of laundry to do.


Friday Night TRUCK SERIES Rackley Roofing 200: John Hunter Nemechek—PLEASE get me that first Truck Series win, JHN.


Saturday Afternoon XFINITY SERIES Tennessee Lottery 250 (4 wins): AJ Allmendinger—The Powerball, The Mega Ball, The Dinger Ball?


Sunday CUP SERIES Ally 400: LAST RACE’S WINNER picks Daniel Suarez.  THE ROULETTE WHEEL picks 29th in points Todd Gilliland.  FAVORITE (1 win): Kyle Larson—keeping on track as we switch to the 2nd half of the season.  NEXT FAVORITE (1 win): Chase Elliott—could we have an intra-team battle for the regular season title?  DARK HORSE (2 wins): Austin Cindric—reaching Cope-level already.


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Tuesday, June 21, 2022

Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2022 Donruss Nascar Cards, Pack 5 of 24



Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2022 Donruss Nascar Cards.  New teams, new drivers, new subsets, and of course some corny commentary by me.


Pack 5—Double Chase, Daytona Ace, and a Different Place


FIRST LOOK:
Its not too out of the ordinary to get two different cards of the same driver in the same pack, but these two use THE SAME EXACT PICTURE.  Come on, Panini/Donruss—make your free-throws.


TO THE BACK:
While its great that Bubba’s mastered plate racing, becoming an expert at, oh, I dunno, types of tracks that hold more than four races a year might be more helpful.


SAY WHAT:
“Ugh, lemme guess—this couple is going to tell me about the great out-of-the-way Mexican restaurant near the track.  Don’t they know that I prefer Asian Fusion for dinner?”


RATING: 5 caution laps out of 10


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Monday, June 20, 2022

Musically Declined: Stock Car Racing’s Entertainers of the Year, Wizard of the Wheel


Stock Car Racing and Country Music—two pillars of culture in the Southern United States.  And the two have mingled throughout the years.  So put on your racing shoes, make sure they match your cowboy hat, and settle in for a look back at some of Nascar’s biggest stars turned Nashville wannabes!


The Song: Wizard of the Wheel by Kelly Delaney & Carbaugh Mann


The Star: Dick Brooks


The Clip: 



The Review: Um, Dick?  You might’ve wanted to request a redo on these lyrics.  You rush through the first few words of every verse to fit the meter, and mention racing toy cars “till the veins stood out (your) neck”.  And if you were a real wizard of the wheel, couldn’t you have magically made the Junie Donlavey cars faster?


The Verdict: Utterly forgettable (if not for the lyrics).


Tuesday, June 14, 2022

Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2022 Donruss Nascar Cards, Pack 4 of 24


(By the way, Uncle Max’s pick for the Knoxville Truck Series race is Stewart Friesen)


Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2022 Donruss Nascar Cards.  New teams, new drivers, new subsets, and of course some corny commentary by me.


Pack 4—Action Packed, History Hacked, and a Future Whacked


FIRST LOOK:
I’m a big fan of the comic book-style graphics on the Action Packed subset this year.  But I which they’d gone whole-hog with it.  Maybe have Austin blowing off Kevin Harvick with a “POW!” effect.


TO THE BACK:
A nice reminder that Motorsports is one of the only sports where immortality can occur pretty much at random.  Its not like one year the Lions will luck into a Super Bowl championship.


SAY WHAT:
“My carefully crafted underdog story is ruined!  Now I’ll have to be even whinier!”


RATING: 3 pit road speeding penalties out of 10


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