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Pack 3: A Promoter of Hair, a Drive Always There, and a Ride to Share
SAY WHAT: “Need a ride? I got one. Seriously, come drive my Cup car, we got open dates”.
RATING: 8 Sets of Tires out of 10
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Buy the book 100 Stock Car Racing What Ifs Unauthorized
A MOXOC Media production
Nascar races on all sorts of tracks, from short to long, oval to road course, concrete to asphalt. Here’s a weekly look at all the tracks of Nascar’s National Touring Series.
DARLINGTON RACEWAY
1.366 mile asphalt egg-shaped oval (well, kinda)
Opened 1950
Lights? Yes
Series: Cup, Xfinity, Trucks
Nicknames: The Lady in Black, The Track Too Tough to Tame, A Tradition of Heritage
THREE FUN FACTS:
1. Darlington got its (not-quite) egg shape in an attempt to avoid building over a minnow pond. You’ll probably hear this an average of 3.5 times over a televised race weekend.
2. In 1997 the track’s layout was flipped, with the old frontstretch becoming the new backstretch and vice versa. This might sound odd, but it STILL made more sense than taking away their Labor Day Weekend race date a few years later.
3. In recent years Darlington has instituted a popular “Throwback Weekend”, something beloved by most fans and disliked by the bitterest people on the planet (so, basically, most racing forum denizens).
www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly
Visit the store https://www.cafepress.com/spaderacing
Buy the book 100 Stock Car Racing What Ifs Unauthorized
A MOXOC Media production
Next week’s Daytona 500 will be an historic one, as for the first-time ever, a cyborg driver will pilot a car in the field.
“I’m proud to be representing not just my team, but cyborgs everywhere”, said driver TKMW “Tony” 115609. “I’m out to prove that even if you have a partially cybertronic brain, you can still go out and race in Nascar.”
“Tony” is the latest in a long-line of drivers with artificial enhancements to attempt to race in Nascar.
“Our leadership committee has looked into this for a long time”, said a Nascar spokes-hologram. “We noticed how after the NFL allowed cyborg football players in 2038, they were overwhelmed to the point that last year was ‘The Metallic Year’. That’s why we will only approve drivers with artificial organs, not indestructible legs or arms.
“And yes, I know that doesn’t allow a driver to have a literal ‘lead foot’, so no need to point that out, guys.”
“Tony” will be racing the #98 Ford FestivaMax race car this season with some very appropriate sponsors.
“NeuroTex Brain Preservers have been with me throughout my racing career, and I’m glad to see them step up to the Cup Series”, TKMW “Tony” 115609 said. “Nobody wants their flesh to rot next to an overheated motherboard. And I’ll be running several races with LushPro Artificial Livers—don’t go drinking without one!”
“Tony” will debut in next Sunday’s Daytona 500, available on VisionX Holographic Media, Teknik MentalView, DriverZ In-Car Experience, and Fox.
IN OTHER NEWS: Nascar Reluctantly Allows Expansion to Ten-Car Teams
www.doesthistrackhavelights.com NEW!
www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly
A MOXOC Media production