1975 World 600 “News” and Notes

—Talk about a dichotomy—last week the quiet, reserved veteran David Pearson won at Dover, and the week before that Darrell Waltrip won his first Cup race at Nashville.  Darrell’s such a talkative guy, always joking around—I bet we NEVER get tired of him!

—Most real matadors try to avoid the bull.  The Penske AMC Matador tries to avoid aerodynamics.

—Things are going pretty groovy so far with the new points system.  Finally every race is worth the same number of points, it’s easy to figure out, and there’s a fine balance between wins and consistency—let’s hope they never have to screw with the points system again.

—Yeah, James Hylton is running great this year, but he’s really a flash-in-the-pan to me.  I bet he’s not racing in a few years.

—Same for Dave Marcis.

—Now Walter Ballard, THERE’S a name you’ll be hearing for years to come.

—Sometimes I wonder if Richard Childress wouldn’t be better-served as an owner, not an independent owner-driver.  But who would drive the 3 car?

—Oh, and by the way, Ralph Earnhardt’s kid is making his debut this weekend.

Mopar, Petty Boycott Nascar for Attempt at Exciting Racing

Nascar will be without its defending champion this year, as Richard “The Randleman Rocket” Petty has joined in Plymouth’s boycott of Nascar for outlawing the dominant Hemi engine, saying that excitement has no place in the sport of stock car racing.

“When they came to us with that Hemi deal, we knew we was leaving”, Petty told a group of sportswriters from his family garage.  “We talked to the NHRA guys, and they were happy to let us do our deal over there, because they know that fans want to see a dominating deal, not a close finish.”

Due to sporadic interest by the greater sporting public, Nascar has moved to tighten regulations on what types of engines drivers can run, in the name of competitive parity.  While many have supported the move, those with Chrysler have vehemently disagreed.

“You can’t just take away the Hemi engine—that’s what fans want to see!”, said Plymouth marketing director Tom Reeves.  “What’s more exciting than seeing a car lap the field plenty of times, knowing that the only way anyone else has a shot to win is if the leader blows an engine or crashes?  People don’t want to see passing, they want to see lapping!”

Petty will spend the 1965 season running his Plymouth in NHRA drag racing events, although he won’t rule out a possible return to Nascar in the future.

“Listen—if Nascar decides they want to talk to us about that rules deal, we’re happy to sit down with ‘em”, Petty explained.  “But at Petty Enterprises, we work to dominate our competition, not run in a pack.  If one or two people want to see a passin’ deal, let ‘em go watch a demolition derby.”

Petty, however, said that he would only return to stock car racing if Nascar would re-allow the Hemi engine.

“There’s no way we’re goin’ back without the engine deal being takin’ care of, and there’s no way we’re gonna run an illegal engine—you have my brother’s word on it.”

Tim Flock Wins Championship; Jocko Flocko Storms Victory Lane

A controversial scene erupted in victory lane after today’s NASCAR stock car race at Orange Speedway, with season’s champion Tim Flock winning, then being attacked by former co-driver and longtime former business partner Jocko Flocko, a rhesus monkey.

File Photo

“What th—get this damned thing off of me!”, Flock was heard screaming as the primate scratched and clawed at his face.  “You’re the one who screwed up in ’53, go back to the past where you belong, you chimp!”

Flocko, who competed in a handful of races in 1953 with Flock, was let go by the team after costing the human Flock a win at Raleigh.  Since then, rumors have swirled about Flocko’s fragile mental state, as well as possible moneys owed to him by Flock, Flock’s team, and a number of suppliers.

“We had a deal, dummy!”, Flock yelled while getting himself into a boxing stance, squaring-off with the monkey.  “You signed the contract, you agreed to be paid in bananas, you took that position at the zoo and that was a violation of the legacy clause.  You have NO RIGHT to the team, NO RIGHT to the car, and NO RIGHT to be throwing rocks at our garage every night!  MOVE ON!”

Flocko was unavailable for comment, as he is a monkey, and unable to speak.  However, he has retained a Charlotte-area attorney to speak on his behalf.

“My client is not asking for anything more than what he is entitled to, by contract and by moral obligation”, the lawyer stated later that day.  “As a co-driver, he was due 50% of the driver’s winnings, but 25% of the owner’s winnings, which were deferred into an escrow account which would allow him to buy into the team itself in the future.  Mr. Flocko has much of his assets tied up this way, and without either releasing them—or allowing him to sell his interest—he is close to destitute.  He has already mortgaged his cage at the zoo, and is worried he might be on the street if no resolution is found.  Mr. Flock refused to answer our repeated telegrams and letters, so we had no choice but to reach him here at the track.”

The zoo was also unavailable for comment.