November 17th, 2032: Dover Announces Track Resurfacing Project



Dover Motor Speedway—Nascar’s oldest racing surface—announced today that they will finally be replacing their concrete track surface for the 2033 season.

“All good things must come to an end—hey, even Jimmy Means finally shut down his Xfinity BrainVision team”, said Dover Motor Speedway spokesperson Anita Gordon.  “After 37 years of service and countless patchings and re-patchings, the concrete at Dover will be torn up and replaced for the 2033 Nascar NaniteCo Cup Series.”

Gordon said that the new surface will feature numerous state-of-the-art road surface technologies, including:

—Aggregate made from torn-down Dupont buildings

—Acid-rain-repellant sealant

—“Self-healing” seams in turn 2, negating the need for multiple in-race replacements.

“We see this as the best way to keep our date on the NaniteCo Cup Series schedule”, said Gordon.  “And we’re moving as far away from the Monster Bridge Disaster of ’29 as we can—its still amazing that the only injuries were to some part-time writer from Wilmington.”

The tearing up of the current surface is expected to begin next week, with chunks of it available for purchase for just 299D’s per square inch.


IN OTHER NEWS: Virtual “Mental Smoking” Apps Banned from Nascar Sponsorship


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