Spade Racing’s 2022 Playoff Preview: Ten Playoff Races, Ten Non-Playoff Driver Winners



How can we go ten races without a single one of the sixteen Playoff drivers winning a race?  Here’s how:


ROUND OF 16:

Southern 500—Alex Bowman dominates the race, only for a late pit road penalty to doom his chances (as well as Denny Hamlin’s, but that’s to be expected at this point).  Martin Truex Jr. winds up a week late but a dollar long, forcing him to quickly figure out how to claim Darlington as a “home track”.


Hollywood Casino 400—After qualifying is rained out the Playoff drivers start up front.  Kyle Larson, Chase Elliott, and Ryan Blaney trade the lead until an ill-timed caution turns this into a fuel mileage race.  Kevin Harvick appears to have the win in-hand until his engine sputters coming out of turn 2, handing the win to Fuel Mileage King Brad Keselowski.


Bass Pro Shops Night Race—Kyle Busch and Austin Dillon both need wins to advance, but Dillon fades away after the last round of pit stops.  Rowdy appears ready to “win his way in”, only to be nudged out of the way by Ricky Stenhouse Jr., who stuns the crowd by not taking HIMSELF out on his way to his first non-superspeedway win.


ELIMINATED: Austin Dillon, Chase Briscoe, Austin Cindric, Kyle Busch


ROUND OF 12:

EchoPark 500—Rain pushes the race to Monday, whereupon pole-sitter Chase Elliott takes the green flag under overcast skies.  Shortly before the race becomes official a pop-up shower wets the track, sending most of the contenders into the wall (…again).  Harrison Burton manages to nurse his car to the lead, then is declared the winner in the media center.


YellaWood 500—Its a typical Talladega race, with the lead switching hands numerous times and cars going backwards and forwards.  In the end Bubba Wallace gets a photo finish over Kevin Harvick, pushed by a returning Kurt Busch (who has experience in such matters).  Fans claim that Nascar somehow rigged the finish, the cameras, and the upcoming midterm elections to Bubba’s benefit.


ROVAL 400—Chase Elliott knocks teammate Kyle Larson out of the lead coming to a green-white-checker, only to be stunned when told that he is being black-flagged for “rough driving”, with officials citing the Rudd/HMS precedent of 1991.  The win is therefore awarded to the second-place finisher of AJ Allmendinger.


ELIMINATED: Daniel Suarez, Christopher Bell, Tyler Reddick, Denny Hamlin


ROUND OF 8:

South Point 400—After a pre-race filled with gambling analogies its a two-tire gamble that pays off for Aric Almirola, allowing him to inherit the lead a few laps from the finish and hold off a hard-charging William Byron.  Double-A is irritated to learn that all his winnings will be paid out as poker chips.


Dixie Vodka 400—Homestead-Miami, the former site of the season finale, sees the seasons of a number of Playoff hopefuls nearly end, with DNFs for Ryan Blaney (crash), Alex Bowman (engine) and Ross Chastain (melon spillage).  After a brief rain delay the race resumes with a thrilling battle to the finish lost by Joey Logano, but won by Cole Custer in a stunner.


Xfinity 500—With Chase Elliott and Kyle Larson essentially locked-in, a drama-filled race sees the remaining Playoff hopefuls desperately trying to win their way into the Championship Round.  Ross Chastain punts Kevin Harvick into the wall, collecting himself and William Byron in the process.  All three brawl in the pits post-race, with the NBC crew seemingly ignoring the upset win by Erik Jones and the Petty GMS crew.


ELIMINATED: Kevin Harvick, Ross Chastain, William Byron, Ryan Blaney


CHAMPIONSHIP RACE

Season Finale 500—All four championship contenders have surprisingly dull races—Kyle Larson battles an ill-handling car and is never a factor, while Alex Bowman loses a wheel on pit road, trapping him two laps down.  The championship comes down to a third-place finish by Chase Elliott, clinching the season title over Joey Logano, who wrecks himself from fourth on the final lap.  Elliott does a double-burnout post-race with race winner Kurt Busch, who immediately announces his retirement from full-time racing.  Fans everywhere are sad upon realizing that Kurt will NOT be replacing Clint Bowyer on commentary.


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