On Sunday night driver Cody Ware fired back at Matt DiBenedetto by saying “At least I don’t cheat on my wife”. This comes on the heels of Ware’s suggestion three years ago that Denny Hamlin was forced to miss a race due to issues with cocaine (as opposed to the actual issue of a metal filing in his eyeball). Obviously Cody Ware is the REAL source for Nascar news these days, scooping the likes of Jayski, Jeff Gluck, and even Adam “Dave Moody Hates Me” Stern. Here’s some other bombshells from “The Ware House” due to drop any day now:
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| Courtesy reddit |
—Matt Kenseth isn’t a robot, but rather a futuristic cyborg sent back in time to gather information for his reptilian overlords.
—“The Sonic Guys” control the money supply for most of the nation.
—Danica Patrick will retire from Nascar after the 2017 season to prepare her candidacy for President of Mongolia.
—Most small race teams regularly short-pay their drivers and withhold sponsorship monies as a form of extortion—except for Rick Ware Racing, which is a total paragon of virtue.
—Yes, Daniel Suarez handed out donuts to fans, but he got dropped by Subway for licking them first.
—Rick Allen snorts a line of marbles before every telecast.
—Don’t spend more than thirty seconds around Timmy Hill unless you want to hear about “all those lucky ladies (he’s) ‘plowed’ in Chuck County Maryland”.
—Nascar IS, in fact, rigged, so that a low-budget team with an untalented driver cannot finish high in the standings.