Quickly solving a mystery that had befuddled Joe Gibbs Racing, Toyota Racing Development, and the state of Wisconsin, former Nascar driver Jeremy Mayfield was found in possession of the missing three-gram connecting rod from Kenseth's race-winning car from Sunday.
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| "Do the meth--I mean, math" |
"We were reviewing our security footage to see which employee missed the rod", said TRD General Manager Glen Olden, "when we noticed a delivery truck backing up to our loading dock. We didn't recognize the Mail Every Type Hurried logo, so we dug deeper.
"We noticed a middle-aged white male with a K-Mart/Little Caesar's t-shirt jumping out of the truck, accompanied by two of the biggest pugs I'd ever seen. He quickly entered and exited our engine department, then drove off."
Nascar President Mike Helton has yet to say if Kenseth, JGR and TRD will still be fined and docked points for the infraction.
"Yes, it wasn't their fault, but TRD is responsible for their own security systems. We hold all our teams to the same level, and JGR will receive the same scrutiny that Hendrick Motorsports did last year--a hefty fine, a major points docking, numerous suspensions--followed by an appeals meeting where we'll basically say, 'Ah, lets forget it'."
When reached at his North Carolina home, Mayfield was defiant despite being informed of the security footage.
"Oh, come on--like I would drive all the way to California just to get three grams of something. Three grams of something that wouldn't have been what I THOUGHT it would be, I might add. Not three grams of that beautiful elixir that helps me forget the horrors of walking in on Ray and Erin." Mayfield then began sobbing.