Hendrick Motorsports Celebrates Banner Day with Win; All Three Cars in Top-Ten

In what is considered the unofficial start to the “real” Nascar season, Jimmie Johnson was able to hold off a charging field to win the Folds of Honor Quik Trip 500 at Atlanta.  It was just one part of a huge day for car owner Rick Hendrick, who saw all three of his Cup cars finish in the top-10.

The Hendrick 2016 Team

“Man, we’re all just tickled to death to see Jimmie, Junior & Chase have a great run today”, said team owner Rick Hendrick, referring to his three drivers Jimmie Johnson, Dale Earnhardt Jr., and Chase Elliott.  “It just goes to show how much work the guys back at the shop are putting in to get all three cars up to speed on this new lower-downforce package.”

Johnson used crafty pit strategy to hold the lead through the extended finish, followed by Dale Earnhardt Jr., who edged out former Hendrick driver Kyle Busch for runner-up.  Rookie sensation Chase Elliott, meanwhile, came home eighth to round out the Hendrick contingent.

“This was a total team effort”, Jimmie Johnson said from victory lane.  “They told me that Junior and Chase had some good finishes too, that just goes to show you the depth this team has.”

Johnson went on to compliment his team for giving him a car capable of winning, saying, “This Hendrick team, they always give us what we need.  Going way back to when it was just me, Jeff Gordon and Brian Vickers, it’s a total team effort here at HMS.”

Atlanta “News” and Notes

The Braves' Turner Field during a recent
playoff game.

—Now that the extended qualifying and restricted-motor madness of Daytona is gone, it’s time to get back to REAL racing.

—Yeah, Atlanta has the post-Daytona, pre-West-Coast-Swing “weekend of death” that killed Rockingham, but its worth pointing out that the change in dates was approved by Bruton Smith.  Don’t try to understand Bruton Smith.

—Yes, Stewart-Haas Racing IS switching to Ford next year, but it remains unknown if any Ford teams will be “squeezed out” and migrate to Chevy or Toyota.  Jack Roush’s business dealings are so intertwined with Ford that he’s probably ruled out (as are the Wood Bros., due to history), so that leaves RPM or Front Row Motorsports.  Either would fit in at Chevy (possibly in an “equal-footing” alliance with RCR), or could move to Toyota, although RPM going to Toyota might result in record-low temperatures in Hell.

—Nascar knows how to court the youth demographic—Eddie Money at Kanasa!

—After missing last weekend, JJ Yeley is back in the Xfinity Series with Tri-Star Motorsports for yeah that sounds about right.

Stewart-Haas Announces Move to Fjord in 2017

In a move that has stunned the Nascar world, Stewart-Haas Racing has officially announced that they will become a Fjord team in 2017, leaving their long-term home of Kannapolis, North Carolina for an as-yet undetermined location on the coast of Norway.

“We weren’t looking to make a move, but we were really impressed by what Fjord was able to offer our company”, co-owner Gene Haas said in a press release.  “Nascar is competitive, and you look for any edge you can get.  We feel that we’ll have the best resources, fastest cars, and most competitive teams by moving to western Norway.  Well, three competitive teams.”

Fjords are long, narrow inlets on the coast, typically caused by glacial erosion.  While insiders were surprised to know that a body of water has a marketing budget, they were even more surprised by the move by SHR.

“Nobody saw this coming”, said a Nascar insider with knowledge of the situation.  “We figured you might see a team switch manufacturer, or maybe pick up a new sponsor or two, but NEVER did we think that we’d see a team relocate across the Atlantic Ocean.  Whatever that geographic formation is offering must be pretty sweet.”

The team said that they would complete the season at their current race shop, before switching over completely to Fjord before next year’s 2017 Daytona 500.

“Wait…what did Gene agree to?” team co-owner Tony Stewart was quoted as saying.