With Nascar having moved on from “Boys Have At It” to something more along the lines of “That’s Enough, Boys”, someone is forced to determine what is good contact and what is bad. That responsibility has fallen at the feet of Nascar’s senior vice president of competition, Elton Sawyer.
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| Power personified |
“All must kneel before the awesome power of I, a former Busch Series driver turned upper-level executive”, Sawyer boomed out from his Daytona Beach office. “For it is I, Elton Sawyer, who shall determine what is rubbin and what is hooking. The wisdom of Solomon dwells within ME!”
Sawyer recently implemented a suspension of popular driver Chase Elliott for “hooking” Denny Hamlin.
“With my infinite wisdom I was able to interpret the data as a HOOK!”, Sawyer said whilst standing behind his desk. “Suck knowledge only comes from the other guy to drive the 27 car, and the other other guy to drive the Hooters car. Absolute knowledge is MINE!”
The suspensions come in stark contrast to the “Boys Have At It” hands-off approach put in place by Mike Helton.
“No mere boy can police himself—one must seek the guidance of I, a two-time Busch Series race winner!” Sawyer explained while pounding his fist on a nearby end table. “The sport must turn to me for leadership, and free Barbasol samples will be had by all!”
Sawyer would later attempt to explain how, while his genius is immortal, he had nothing to do with Ricky Rudd having a win taken away at Sonoma in 1991.
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