Uncle Max: New Hampshire Weekend (and bonus Eldora) Picks

Weekly picks from Spade Racing’s writer/webmaster/janitor Mike Mackler’s uncle.

Well, it finally happened.  They’d been dropping hints for weeks, but I guess I just ignored them.  But as of yesterday, its official—I am being ostracized at work.

Oh, sure, they’ll TELL YOU everything’s fine, but I can tell.  They’re turning their backs to me in the morning meetup.  They’re not inviting me out for drinks at McDougal's when I work Friday afternoons anymore.  And worst of all, the final nail in the coffin, they refused to participate in my third-annual MLB All-Star Game prop bet pool.

Well, there’s nothing left for me to do but move on.  No, I’m not looking for another job (actively, that is), but I’ll still show up every day, looking for a NEW group to fit in with.  Although there’s really not many more left—the overnight guys and I almost never see each other, and there’s a few guys who hang out on Sundays but I’m usually booked solid with Nascar and football.  Speaking of which, I can’t wait till they come CRAWLING BACK in late-August, because I’m STILL the fantasy football commissioner will all the passwords!  They’ll have to start a new league without me—bye-bye keepers!!!

Anyways, here’s my picks for the upcoming race weekend at New Hampshire, plus the mid-week race next week at Eldora (total wins in parenthesis):

Xfinity Series Overton’s 200 (5 wins)—Kyle Busch—no idea what Overton’s sells, but in this case it’s CHALK.

Cup Series Overton’s 301:  FAVORITE (3 wins)—Joey Logano—Papa-to-be Joey JoJo gets himself unencumbered.  NEXT FAVORITE (1 win)—Matt Kenseth—winning your first race of the year after finding out you don’t have a ride in 2018 would be a very Matt Kenseth thing to do (even if Joe Nemechek did it first).  DARK HORSE—Ryan Newman—and NOT by fuel mileage this time (although if it is, I’ll still count it as a win).

BONUS Truck Series Aspen Dental 150 (3 wins)—Bobby Pierce—to get your first win, and the first win for MB Motorsports, you gotta get a little bit dirty.

Nascar to Institute Competition Caution at Lap 285 at New Hampshire Race

In what is claimed to not be a response to the lack of mid-to-late-race action at Kentucky Speedway’s Cup Series race on Saturday, Nascar has announced that at this Sunday’s race at New Hampshire International Speedway, there will be a competition caution at lap 290 to allow teams to check tire wear and adjust accordingly.

“There are very few things Nascar and Speedway Motorsports Inc. (owner of NHIS) agree on, but we whole-heartedly agree on this”, said Nascar chairman Brian France in a joint press conference with SMI chairman Bruton Smith, “and that is that teams need to have the opportunity to pit and examine their tire situations roughly 16 laps from the finish.”

France said that the decision to institute the late-race competition caution had nothing to do with the “follow the leader” racing that played out throughout most of the race, only to be halted by a late-race caution that bunched up the leaders just short of the finish.

“Wait now, there’s no way we’d allow anything like that to happen”, Smith said, cutting France’s remarks off.  “I invented this whole stage racing deal, and look at how much people love it.  I think people are going to love the strategy of teams figuring out late-race tire wear and rubber degradation just as much as they love the strategy of teams figuring out mid-race fuel strategy.”

That the mandated late caution will bunch up the field for a guaranteed late-race shootout is “…a happy coincidence”, France said, claiming that he believes that fans not only want an exciting, action-packed finish, but a day of constant discussion of pit strategy and tire monitoring.

In a break from typical competition caution protocol, teams will be allowed to fuel their cars prior to the competition caution.

“Hey, Let’s Race Two”—A Driver Between Same-Day Xfinity and Cup Races

This is the second straight week where weather has forced the Xfinity and Cup Series to run on the same day.  This makes things difficult for track staff, broadcast partners, race officials, but most importantly* drivers running both races.  Here’s a look what an average driver goes through between the checkered flag of the Xfinity race and the green flag of the Cup race on the same day.

(*—important as deemed by Nascar’s media partners)

—Pull Xfinity car up to the hauler.  Give interviews to PR flaks about how a race that’s half as long, pays half as much money, and has half the attendance and tv ratings is incredibly important to sponsors who pay half as much.

—Change out of firesuit.  Make sure there’s no cameras in the bathroom “just in case someone steals something”.

—Report to team conference room of hauler to debrief with crew chief and car chief over the race.  Make sure not to bring up bad adjustment call that cost you the race, since your Xfinity crew chief today could wind up your Cup chief tomorrow or, worse, a motor-mouthed broadcaster.

—Go to the infield care center for intravenous fluid transfer.  Deal with smart-aleck nurse asking if you want regular or premium.

—Check out Twitter account while getting fluids replenished.  See how people who take time out of their day to follow you hate you for ruining the Xfinity Series.

—Filled up with plenty of expensive fluids and feeling refreshed, check on your pit crew and THEIR replenishment efforts—remember to give them each a dollar to hit up the candy machine.

—Make the all-important change that lets the world know you’re not an Xfinity Series driver anymore, you’re a Cup Series driver for the rest of your night—change polo shirts.

—Check in for the pre-race tv show.  Get NBC and Fox confused.

—Change into Cup firesuit and debrief with team owner, checking to make sure he’s not under any sort of investigation.

—Report to drivers’ meeting.  Try hard to avoid sitting next to Brad Keselowski, not wanting to talk about the reality of consciousness again.

—Leave drivers’ meeting and check-in again on Twitter.  See how people who claim to only care about racing and nothing else are wondering if you’re gay.

—Report to drivers’ intros.  Try hard to avoid standing next to Brad Keselowski, not wanting to talk about the myth of self-determination again.

—Walk to car, meeting with sponsors on pit road.  Try to find polite way to tell millionaire who controls your career to stop leaning on your car.

—Stand for anthem.  Wonder why camera men keep shooting you when you’re just standing there.

—Get into car, waiting for call to fire engines.  Wonder why they call it that when a fire is the last thing you want in a race car.

—Start engine and do pace laps.  Try to understand what the hell Jeff Burton is asking you.

—Green flag!  Time to go racing in the most important race of the night……….until the competition caution.