Kurt Busch's Excuse List

Kurt Busch is a tough guy.  Oh yeah, he's trained hard.  He even took a year of super-secret karate.  Kurt knows 32 ways to kill a man with a coffee mug.  But he can't beat the (crap) out of you because…

--He's on probation

--His "trick shoulder" is acting up

--His girlfriend's there

--He doesn't want to make you look bad

--His boss is, like, right over there

--He doesn't think "you're worth it"

--The last time he beat somebody up, he hurt him so bad that, well, he can't tell you the rest

--He doesn't want you to embarrass yourself

--Fighting is against his religion

--He'll wait till you least suspect it

--He knows you'll fight dirty

--He's a skinny little wuss who's all talk…wait, he didn't mean to say that

Jimmie Johnson Tries to Change Image with "Wacky" Rainbow Wig

Jimmie Johnson didn't shock anybody by running away with today's Dover race.  But he DID attempt to shock everybody with his "wild" rainbow wig, seen in pre-and-post-race activities.

"See, its a rainbow wig!  Its rainbow-colored!  And big and curly!  Its totally out-of-character for me!" said an overly excited Johnson in Victory Lane.  "I made sure that all 7,000 fans saw me in the pre-race, and now all 500 fans who stayed can see me here!  Its wacky Jimmie Johnson!"

"There's no need for anybody to call me vanilla anymore!", Johnson continued.  "Unless you call me vanilla with RAINBOW SPRINKLES!  Get it?  Rainbow!  Sprinkles!  Vanilla Ice Cream!"

Johnson, renowned for his dominating performance overshadowing his cool demeanor, has said that showing "…more of (his) wild side" was an important goal of his.  His "nutty" summer plans include wearing huge sunglasses, sticking his tongue out at a camera man, and making a prank radio call to Chad Knaus looking for a "Mike Rotch".

"This isn't your slightly-older-brother's Jimmie Johnson, this is the crazy, exciting, thrill-a-minute Jimmie Johnson!  Heck, I might even legally change my middle name to Danger!"

While placing a rainbow wig on the Miles the Monster trophy in Victory Lane "…because its so craaaazy!", Matt Kenseth pointed out that his car was the "Worst Buy" of the day, leaving the assembled media in stitches.

Dover "News" and Notes

--Robby Gordon is starting a stadium racing series.  I'd put my early moony on Invesco Field at Mile High, they're bad-fast on long runs.

--David Ragan welcomes "8-Hour Alert" as a new sponsor, with a paint scheme reminding us that "8>5".  Gee, thanks for reminding us of that, guys.

--Nationwide Series mavens--if you thought that Austin Dillon had a big face, wait till you see his brother Ty!

--If you're able to catch the Truck race, keep an eye out for Brian Scott, who takes his DNF's Around The USA tour a new series.

--Its been a bad year for the number 7--first, Robby Gordon dramatically scales back operations, then Red Horse Racing shuts down John King's truck.  What's next, a Nationwide #7 car that runs only on hype and cheesy commercials?

--Its time to say goodbye to Fox, as TNT takes on the next six races.  So goodbye Michael Waltrip, Hello Wally Dallenbach Jr.!