Bubba vs. Rowdy: Spade Racing’s Tale O’ The Tape


Sunday saw a tense battle between Darrell Wallace Jr. and Kyle Busch at Watkins Glen, boiling over into retaliation on Bubba’s part, essentially ending Rowdy’s shot at a win.  With further retaliation no doubt on the way (as well as incessant clips on commercials), here’s a comparison of the two of them in a best-of-seven series:

Nickname(s)
Bubba Wallace: Bubba (…of course)
Kyle Busch: Rowdy, The Closer, Wild Thing, The Candyman
Winner: Kyle, even though Bubba’s nickname has morphed into his first name

Cup Series Accolades
Bubba Wallace: Runner-up finish in the Daytona 500
Kyle Busch: Series championship
Winner: Kyle—not only did he win a championship, but he didn’t even need to run the first few races!
Over/Under on the number of times we
see this this weekend is infinite

Sponsors
Bubba Wallace: WorldWide Technology, (this space for rent)
Kyle Busch: M&M’s, Interstate Batteries
Winner: Kyle—even though WWT is donating space to Victory Junction, you can’t eat data insights

(uh-oh, Rowdy’s out to a 3-0 lead, can Bubba recover?)

Music
Bubba Wallace: Plays drums
Kyle Busch: Smashes hand-painted guitars in front of the guy who designed it
Winner: Bubba—he never made Sam Bass run away

Team Owner
Bubba Wallace: Richard Petty, seven-time champ
Kyle Busch: Joe Gibbs, seven-time champ (four times in Cup, three times in the Super Bowl)
Winner: Bubba—nearly a tie, but The King never brought Joe Theismann to the public sphere

Fan Reaction
Bubba Wallace: Mostly cheers, except for a few racists
Kyle Busch: "BOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Winner: Bubba (“They weren’t booing you, they were saying “BOOOO-usch!”)

(its a 3-3 tie—who wins in the end?)

Who’d Win in a Real Fight
Bubba Wallace: Obviously
Kyle Busch: Assuming he doesn’t have battery acid to throw, no chance

Winner: Bubba, 4-3 overall