Fun fact—the Xfinity Series is the only one of the three Nascar national touring series to NOT have a new name for 2020. Strange “Fact”—If you say “Venit ad me fillies meus” into your voice-activated Xfinity remote control, David Stremme will appear on your screen. Let’s have a look at the 2020 Xfinity Series, shall we?
Special thanks to the resurgent Jayski for its immeasurable help in determining who’s gone where.
DRIVERS LISTED IN ORDER OF PREDICTED REGULAR-SEASON FINISH. FULL-TIME DRIVERS ONLY. DRIVER (car #—primary sponsor) Ford Toyota Chevy
1. Justin Allgaier (7—Brandt): Not much change here for one of the most-consistent drivers in any Nascar series. STRANGE “FACT”: Now that wrestler Jushin “Thunder” Liger is retiring from in-ring competition, he can reunite with Justin, his long-long biological step-son.
2. Austin Cincric (22—Moneylion): The Boss’s Son is back and looking to capitalize after a year of growth. STRANGE “FACT”: Austin has little to no connection to Austin Dillon or Austin Cindric, but once tossed a beer to “Stone Cold” Denise Austin. It didn’t go well
3. Ross Chastain (10—Nutrian Ag): “Nascar’s busiest driver” has “leveled-up” to the Xfinity Series, although he will continue to run in Trucks and Cup. STRANGE “FACT”: Those races Kaulig Racing were disqualified from last year? All due to AJ Allmendinger’s improperly applied hair gel.
4. Noah Gragson (9—Switch): Its a make-or-break year for Noah as he has the chance to prove he belongs in the 48 Cup ride in 2021. And by “break”, I mean “will wind up doing something we all wish we could do for the next 20 years”. STRANGE “FACT”: Suggested nicknames for Noah Gragson include “The Ark-Man”, “Aggro-Grag” and “Sweet Carolina Mustard”.
6. Justin Haley (11—LeafFilter): Cup’s Flukiest Winner tries to become Xfinity’s solidest driver in 2020. STRANGE “FACT”: “solidest” is somehow an actual word.
7. Brandon Jones (19—Menards): While Brandon’s at the bottom of the Menards Sponsored Drivers Performance Rankings with Paul having retired, he still has a legit shot to win every weekend. So there’s that. STRANGE “FACT”: If at any point this year you find yourself saying “I got a Jones for Brandon”, seek immediate medical attention.
8. Michael Annett (1—PilotFlyingJ): A season-opening win and a ninth-place points finish was a decent improvement for the driver inexplicably supported by the owner of the Cleveland Browns. STRANGE “FACT”: Now that I think about it, Annett’s peripatetic racing career DOES match up pretty well with Browns leadership history.
9. Chase Briscoe (98--High Point): Chase issued some cryptic remarks about “racing for his job” in 2019. In 2020 he could very well be doing just that if he doesn’t find a sponsor. STRANGE “FACT”: Much like Chase Elliott, Chase is just a nickname for Thelonious Hebbadiah Briscoe.10. Riley Herbst (18—Monster): Riley comes to Xfinity with the total package—youth, financial backing, and sponsorship both internal and external. Oh, and I guess he’s a good driver too. STRANGE “FACT”: If you ain’t first, you’re last. And if you ain’t last, you’re Herbst.
12. Vinnie Miller (78—???): This BJ McLeod Motorsports driver has a shot to sneak his way into the Playoffs…unless a mid-major team decides to run an extra car. STRANGE “FACT”: Vinnie’s hometown of Metamora Michigan has only 565 people in it…and one terrible secret no one must know.
13. Joe Graf Jr. (08—Eat Sleep Race): “Replacing Gray Gaulding” isn’t the ideal way to make a splash in Nascar, but hey—its a start. STRANGE “FACT”: Joe considers being listed as one of the “Notable People” from Mahwah, New Jersey on Wikipedia to be his greatest accomplishment thus far.
14. Jeremy Clements (51—Repairable Vehicles): Another year, another season for Jeremy in his family-owned car, another few months of hoping he doesn’t say something stupid again. STRANGE “FACT”: Jeremy calls his team’s garage “The 51st State”.
15. David Starr (6—???): What’s stranger—JDMwGK continuing to successful run a multi-car team with limited sponsorship, or realizing that they’ve managed to establish their red cars as an identifiable brand? STRANGE “FACT”: The team’s drivers have never met Phil Swift, founder of Flex Seal/Tape/Glue/Gunk/Beer/Life.
16. Brandon Brown (68—Coastal Carolina): Double-B returns for his family-owned team, albeit in a re-numbered car. Time will tell if this will result in anything remotely interesting. STRANGE “FACT”: Brandon doesn’t even know who Jaromir Jagr IS.
17. Ray Black Jr. (07—ScubaLife): SS Greenlight continues its march towards an eventual 12th-place points finish. STRANGE “FACT”: Every time Ray calls his sponsor, they reply with “Things are bad here—our business is UNDERWATER!”. Every. Single. TIME.
18. Matt Mills (5—J.F. Electric): Thankfully they finally adjusted the “5” on the car so it doesn’t look like they just taped over another number. STRANGE “FACT”: JF Electric honestly didn’t think their logo looked anything like the title card for E.T.
19. ??? (52—possibly Whataburger): Its impossible to hate on an underdog team, quirky sponsor, and iconic team owner (Jimmy…Means…Business!). STRANGE “FACT”: Stare at the shade of orange on this car for too long and you’ll find yourself singing “Rocky Top".
20. Tommy Joe Martins (44—Diamond Gussett): Nascar really DOES need more three-named drivers, doesn’t it? STRANGE “FACT”: Its perfectly acceptable to pronounce this car’s number as “foe-foe”.
21. Chad Finchum (?—???): The only thing confirmed about this MBM entry is that it’ll have Chad Finchum driving full-time. STRANGE “FACT”: If you can’t beat ‘em, Finchum.
22. Jesse Little (4—???): Ross Chastain has fully-vacated his JGMwGK ride. Hey Jesse—nooo pressure. STRANGE “FACT”: Even Jesse wonders how Mark Rypien had that one good year.
23. Josh Williams (92—???): DGM Racing retains Josh Williams full-time in 2020. STRANGE “FACT”: Why yes, I *am* running out of things to say—how’d you guess?
24. BJ McLeod (15—???): BJ owns a team while racing for another. Its like Dale Earnhardt only much, much, much, MUCH lower-quality. STRANGE “FACT”: BJ spends two hours every morning slicking his hair back.
25. Mike Harmon (74—???): Mike continues to bring up the rear amongst full-time drivers. Oh well—its better than nearly getting sliced in two at Bristol. STRANGE “FACT”: N/A—Mike Harmon is an enigma.