Shortly after Alex Bowman’s back injury—which happened shortly after Chase Elliott’s return from a broken leg—Hendrick Motorsports has taken precautions against any further driver injuries by having William Byron placed in a large box, surrounded by styrofoam.
“We feel this is the easiest way to keep William safe”, an HMS spokesman said this morning. “We take him out only for the super-important stuff, like racing, qualifying, and doing sponsor appearances. Otherwise he spends his time surrounded by packing peanuts and blocks of styrofoam.”
With two Hendrick drivers injured in the first third of the season, the team isn’t taking any chances.
“We’re looking into a way to keep our drivers in a sort of bio-stasis from Monday through Friday”, the spokesman said, “that way there’s less of a chance of injury. I mean, Josh Berry can only race one car at a time—believe me, we’ve checked.”
Byron, after spitting out several packing peanuts, said he didn’t mind being stored-away, as the crew at least wheels him from his motorcoach to the garage on a hand-truck.
“William is adjusting real well”, the spokesman said, “and we’re still working on a way to convince Kyle Larson that he’s become allergic to sprint cars.”
GET WELL SOON, ALEX!
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