Spade Racing 2020 Xfinity Series Preview: Change Facts, Strange “Facts”

Fun fact—the Xfinity Series is the only one of the three Nascar national touring series to NOT have a new name for 2020.  Strange “Fact”—If you say “Venit ad me fillies meus” into your voice-activated Xfinity remote control, David Stremme will appear on your screen.  Let’s have a look at the 2020 Xfinity Series, shall we?

Special thanks to the resurgent Jayski for its immeasurable help in determining who’s gone where.

DRIVERS LISTED IN ORDER OF PREDICTED REGULAR-SEASON FINISH.  FULL-TIME DRIVERS ONLY.  DRIVER (car #—primary sponsor)  Ford  Toyota  Chevy

1. Justin Allgaier (7—Brandt): Not much change here for one of the most-consistent drivers in any Nascar series.  STRANGE “FACT”: Now that wrestler Jushin “Thunder” Liger is retiring from in-ring competition, he can reunite with Justin, his long-long biological step-son.

2. Austin Cincric (22—Moneylion): The Boss’s Son is back and looking to capitalize after a year of growth.  STRANGE “FACT”: Austin has little to no connection to Austin Dillon or Austin Cindric, but once tossed a beer to “Stone Cold” Denise Austin.  It didn’t go well

3. Ross Chastain (10—Nutrian Ag): “Nascar’s busiest driver” has “leveled-up” to the Xfinity Series, although he will continue to run in Trucks and Cup.  STRANGE “FACT”: Those races Kaulig Racing were disqualified from last year?  All due to AJ Allmendinger’s improperly applied hair gel.

4. Noah Gragson (9—Switch): Its a make-or-break year for Noah as he has the chance to prove he belongs in the 48 Cup ride in 2021.  And by “break”, I mean “will wind up doing something we all wish we could do for the next 20 years”.  STRANGE “FACT”: Suggested nicknames for Noah Gragson include “The Ark-Man”, “Aggro-Grag” and “Sweet Carolina Mustard”.

5. Harrison Burton (20—DEX Imaging): Don’t just assume that Harrison’s moving up from Trucks because of his famous last name—he did it the old-fashioned way, by finishing 12th in points in Trucks running for the series’ best team.  STRANGE “FACT”: Most of the images that DEX images are just blurry shots of Gary Bradberry.

6. Justin Haley (11—LeafFilter): Cup’s Flukiest Winner tries to become Xfinity’s solidest driver in 2020.  STRANGE “FACT”: “solidest” is somehow an actual word.

7. Brandon Jones (19—Menards): While Brandon’s at the bottom of the Menards Sponsored Drivers Performance Rankings with Paul having retired, he still has a legit shot to win every weekend.  So there’s that.  STRANGE “FACT”: If at any point this year you find yourself saying “I got a Jones for Brandon”, seek immediate medical attention.

8. Michael Annett (1—PilotFlyingJ): A season-opening win and a ninth-place points finish was a decent improvement for the driver inexplicably supported by the owner of the Cleveland Browns.  STRANGE “FACT”: Now that I think about it, Annett’s peripatetic racing career DOES match up pretty well with Browns leadership history.

9. Chase Briscoe (98--High Point): Chase issued some cryptic remarks about “racing for his job” in 2019.  In 2020 he could very well be doing just that if he doesn’t find a sponsor.  STRANGE “FACT”: Much like Chase Elliott, Chase is just a nickname for Thelonious Hebbadiah Briscoe.

10. Riley Herbst (18—Monster): Riley comes to Xfinity with the total package—youth, financial backing, and sponsorship both internal and external.  Oh, and I guess he’s a good driver too.  STRANGE “FACT”: If you ain’t first, you’re last.  And if you ain’t last, you’re Herbst.

11. Ryan Sieg (39—CMR Construction): Nascar’s Official Underdog hopes to parlay steady sponsorship into another Playoff run—and possibly a race win.  STRANGE “FACT”: Ryan likes to tell dates that if they play their cards right, later they’ll be “Under Sieg”.

12. Vinnie Miller (78—???): This BJ McLeod Motorsports driver has a shot to sneak his way into the Playoffs…unless a mid-major team decides to run an extra car.  STRANGE “FACT”: Vinnie’s hometown of Metamora Michigan has only 565 people in it…and one terrible secret no one must know.

13. Joe Graf Jr. (08—Eat Sleep Race): “Replacing Gray Gaulding” isn’t the ideal way to make a splash in Nascar, but hey—its a start.  STRANGE “FACT”: Joe considers being listed as one of the “Notable People” from Mahwah, New Jersey on Wikipedia to be his greatest accomplishment thus far.

14. Jeremy Clements (51—Repairable Vehicles): Another year, another season for Jeremy in his family-owned car, another few months of hoping he doesn’t say something stupid again.  STRANGE “FACT”: Jeremy calls his team’s garage “The 51st State”.

15. David Starr (6—???): What’s stranger—JDMwGK continuing to successful run a multi-car team with limited sponsorship, or realizing that they’ve managed to establish their red cars as an identifiable brand?  STRANGE “FACT”: The team’s drivers have never met Phil Swift, founder of Flex Seal/Tape/Glue/Gunk/Beer/Life.

16. Brandon Brown (68—Coastal Carolina): Double-B returns for his family-owned team, albeit in a re-numbered car.  Time will tell if this will result in anything remotely interesting.  STRANGE “FACT”: Brandon doesn’t even know who Jaromir Jagr IS.

17. Ray Black Jr. (07—ScubaLife): SS Greenlight continues its march towards an eventual 12th-place points finish.  STRANGE “FACT”: Every time Ray calls his sponsor, they reply with “Things are bad here—our business is UNDERWATER!”.  Every.  Single.  TIME.

18. Matt Mills (5—J.F. Electric): Thankfully they finally adjusted the “5” on the car so it doesn’t look like they just taped over another number.  STRANGE “FACT”: JF Electric honestly didn’t think their logo looked anything like the title card for E.T.

19. ??? (52—possibly Whataburger): Its impossible to hate on an underdog team, quirky sponsor, and iconic team owner (Jimmy…Means…Business!).  STRANGE “FACT”: Stare at the shade of orange on this car for too long and you’ll find yourself singing “Rocky Top".

20. Tommy Joe Martins (44—Diamond Gussett): Nascar really DOES need more three-named drivers, doesn’t it?  STRANGE “FACT”: Its perfectly acceptable to pronounce this car’s number as “foe-foe”.

21. Chad Finchum (?—???): The only thing confirmed about this MBM entry is that it’ll have Chad Finchum driving full-time.  STRANGE “FACT”: If you can’t beat ‘em, Finchum.

22. Jesse Little (4—???): Ross Chastain has fully-vacated his JGMwGK ride.  Hey Jesse—nooo pressure.  STRANGE “FACT”: Even Jesse wonders how Mark Rypien had that one good year.

23. Josh Williams (92—???): DGM Racing retains Josh Williams full-time in 2020.  STRANGE “FACT”: Why yes, I *am* running out of things to say—how’d you guess?

24. BJ McLeod (15—???): BJ owns a team while racing for another.  Its like Dale Earnhardt only much, much, much, MUCH lower-quality.  STRANGE “FACT”: BJ spends two hours every morning slicking his hair back.

25. Mike Harmon (74—???): Mike continues to bring up the rear amongst full-time drivers.  Oh well—its better than nearly getting sliced in two at Bristol.  STRANGE “FACT”: N/A—Mike Harmon is an enigma.