Uncle Max vs. Repeat Winners: Kansas

Its that time of the year—weather’s warming up, the sky stays lighter a little later, allergies are worse than usual…and the grilling season is upon us!

I got my propane tank filled, the grill cleaned, and the meat in the fridge.  After (hopefully) a short day of work on Saturday I plan to come home and throw some brats and hot dogs on the BBQ for dinner.  There’s nothing quite like a barbecue to fire up the senses.  The smell of the char, the sight of a slowly browning bratwurst, the sound of the sizzling, the feel of a perfectly toasted bun, and of course the taste!  I’ll say it right now—having access to a propane grill makes having to pay for townhouse rent worth it.

XFINITY SERIES off

Saturday Night Truck Series Wise Energy 200: Kyle Busch—he HAS to win a Truck race this year…right?

Sunday CUP SERIES Buschy McBusch Race 400. Repeat winner—Brad Keselowski.  FAVORITE (1 win): Denny Hamlin—finally puts to rest any notion of him being a “choker”. NEXT FAVORITE: Kyle Larson—nice bounce back weekend.  DARK HORSE (1 win): Kyle Busch—weekend sweep?

Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2021 Donruss Nascar Cards, Pack 5 and 6 of 24+

Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2021 Donruss Nascar Cards, pack-by-pack, week-by-week.

Pack 5—Byron, Bell’s gone, and Bur-tonnnn 

FIRST LOOK: There are only 299 of these cards in existence.  One of them is currently sitting in a protective binder sleeve on my bookshelf.  Ok, ok, leaning against my bookshelf on the carpet—I’m running out of room.

TO THE BACK: Here we see what is likely one of the last appearances of the Leavine Family Racing logo.  They might not have dominated on the track, but at least they went out with their team owner whining about money.

SAY WHAT: “That’s one sweet looking car over there.  Wonder if I’ll ever get the chance to drive a black and green Chevy that might not ever pass post-race inspection?  Oh well…”

RATING: 4 chassis out of 10

Pack 6—The Jimmie of Old, a Statement That’s Bold, and Arms in a Fold

FIRST LOOK: Besides the face mask and change in sponsors, Jimmie Johnson really does look much the same as he did when he started in the sport.  And just like his first few years in Nascar, he struggled to contend for most of 2020.

TO THE BACK: Yep, just like a “Normal Kid”, getting to race expensive cars on weekends.  “Normal”, just like every other kid who grew up with the chance to compete in Nascar.  Maybe that’s too bitter—after all, who am I to turn down a Dollar?

SAY WHAT: “Arms crossed, Leaf Filter logos out, head looking off in the distance—I got this pit lane pose down pat.”

RATING: 6 ill-informed YouTube videos out of 10

52 Pickup Racing Announces Strategic Partnership with Angela’s Motorsports

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (Boogertown, North Carolina)

As one of the few single-car teams in NASCAR Cup Series competition, 52 Pickup Racing has faced a difficult task competing with multi-car titans like Front Row Motorsports and Rick Ware Racing.  Thus, in order to better compete against bigger teams, 52 Pickup Racing has announced a strategic partnership with fellow independent team Angela’s Motorsports.

“This is really just what we need to give our team a shot in the arm”, said Ed Murray, one of the fifty-two co-owners of 52 Pickup Racing.  “We can only do so much with two cars, one engine, and a handful of lug nuts.  With this new partnership we hope to really see how we stack up against the rest of the field.”

Angela’s Motorsports has competed primarily in the Xfinity Series, but is expected to bring economies of scale and fair comparisons to the 52 Pickup Racing team.

“I’m not super-familiar with what Angela’s Motorsports has done lately, but I heard they have Mike McLaughlin as a driver—he’s a veteran with lots of wisdom to share”, said T.B. Dee, driver of the Monday Cigarettes race car for 52 Pickup Racing.  “And its pretty cool to see a race team owned by a woman—I’m sure she’s got quite a story to tell.”

“I even hear they have a deal in place with Yates”, Murray added.  “And those guys don’t just do business with any old team!”

QUOTES: “As soon as I heard about a deal with this team, I ran.” —T.B. Dee, driver of the 52 Pickup Racing Monday Cigarettes race car.

“We’re on the next flight out to close this deal.  All this excitement makes me quite the Wired Flyer.” —Ed Murray, co-owner of 52 Pickup Racing.

ABOUT 52 PICKUP RACING: 52 Pickup Racing is NASCAR Cup’s newest race team.  Based out of Boogertown North Carolina, the team employs up-and-coming driver T.B. Dee and is looking for an experienced fabricator willing to work for food.

For more information please visit the 52 Pickup Racing website at www.52pickupracing.com

For all media inquiries please contact Moxoc Media at moxoc(at)moxoc.com

BREAKING NEWS: Carl Edwards Announces Run for Office

In an announcement speculated by racing and political pundits alike for years, Carl Edwards announced today on Twitter that he is, in fact, planning a run.

“Feeling cooped-up inside, gonna go for a three-mile run today”, Edwards tweeted out earlier this morning, confirming long-rumored plans of a run.

While some were disappointed in the nature of the run, Edwards soon after confirmed that he was, in fact, referring to a run for office.

“Gotta get some autographs sent out—they’re on the other side of the property in the office”, Edwards replied to a fan who asked about his motivations.

“Carl Edwards has been said to be contemplating a run for office for some time now”, said political analyst Clay Stevens.  “So getting the announcement this morning isn’t a big surprise.  After all, he’s always been devoted to physical fitness.”

Stevens also explained the possible ramifications of said run for office by the former Nascar star.

“Well, I have it on good authority that Carl’s office for his business affairs is at the top of a small hill”, Stevens said.  “So we can say with certainty that yes, Carl Edwards is, in fact, running for high office.

“Not only that”, Stevens continued, “but the office occasionally sees visitors—Carl’s friends and farm workers, for instance.  So it is, as many have speculated, a Public Office.”

Edwards’ Twitter feed understandably went dark for the rest of the morning, leaving fans in the dark as to details of the run for high public office, who would be assisting him (if anyone), and why the heck he retired from racing when he did.

Uncle Max vs. Repeat Winners: Talladega

You know what sucks?

No, not getting a bunch of picks wrong.  Or being stuck in a job you hate.  Or having to add oil to your car every other week.

Well, OK, all those things suck.  But you know what REALLY sucks?

Going to the dentist.

Its bad enough that I have to burn a day off waiting in a waiting room to see a guy with a Corvette, a toupee, and bad jokes.  This med-school drop-out is going to tell me that I need to stop grinding my teeth?  Hey doc—maybe if you had hours after 2pm I’d be a little bit more relaxo at night before an appointment!

Oh well—at least there were no cavities this time.  And of course by just having my appointment and mentioning that online, I’m sure I’ll have a filling pop out tomorrow.

TRUCK SERIES off

Saturday Afternoon XFINITY SERIES Ag-Pro 300: Michael Annett—could reeeeeally go for a support series pick win this weekend.

Sunday CUP SERIES Geico 500. Repeat winner—Alex Bowman FAVORITE (1 win): Kurt Busch—time for the Ganassi team to wake up. NEXT FAVORITE: Kevin Harvick—yeah, I know, nobody’s really a favorite at a plate track.  DARK HORSE (1 win): Chris Buescher—pushed by Ryan Newman.

Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2021 Donruss Nascar Cards, Pack 3 and 4 of 24+

Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2021 Donruss Nascar Cards, pack-by-pack, week-by-week.

Pack 3—Out of Date, A Plan That’s Great, and Shiny Fate 

FIRST LOOK: As stated earlier, the issue with the first set of cards any year is that the team assignments tend to be left over from the previous season.  Its like buying bagels at 9pm—you get what you want, but they’re a little stale.

TO THE BACK: I gotta admit this was a pretty clever plan by Cousin Carl.  Its like the old personal ads I used to place on Craigslist, except I’m guessing Carl got much fewer spam responses.

SAY WHAT: “Leading the Xfinity Series points is great, but what I really want to do is appear in an Optic card that makes me look like a hologram”.

RATING: 4 rounds of wedge out of 10

Pack 4—Rookie Fame, a Fan to Blame, and a Bit of Game

FIRST LOOK: Tommy Joe Martins gets the “Rated Rookie” seal of approval given to so many sports stars since the late-80’s.  Kudos to Donruss/Panini for never changing the logo—its like the Team Penske font, its been around so long its gone from odd to ugly to cool.

TO THE BACK: I have no idea who Noah Sweet is, but while its awesome to get a fan-made paint scheme on the track, considering how many people dislike the various Ally looks I don’t know if I’d want my name out there.

SAY WHAT: “Hey girl, are you a dynamometer?  Because you’re revving me up.”

RATING: 3 pre-race feature stories out of 10

52 Pickup Driver T.B. Dee Delivers PSA for Indian Burn Awareness

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (Boogertown, North Carolina)

In addition to driving the #52 Monday Cigarettes race car for 52 Pickup Racing, T.B. Dee has interests in a number of outside…interests.  One such cause near and dear to his heart is the awareness and prevention of Indian Burns.

“Growing up, my older brother, D.D. Dee, would love to leave terrible red marks on my forearms”, Dee said.  “I always knew I would do something to stop it once I had the ability.  Well, now as a NASCAR Cup Series driver, its time to make that happen.”

The public service announcement, airing locally on Boogertown Public Access, shows Dee getting out of his race car (albeit with all Monday Cigarettes logos covered up) to deliver this important message:

“Hi there, I’m NASCAR Cup driver T.B. Dee.  You know, it might seem like a good idea to twist your brother, sister, or best friend’s arm skin around till it turns red.  But that could lead to infection, scarring, or even getting punched in the stomach for flinching.  So remember—wear long sleeves, stick to wet willies, and Don’t Get Burned.”

Dee has said that if traction is seen on the message, he may attack another cause close to his family—preventing people from stealing their neighbors’ newspapers.

QUOTES: “Noogies are OK, however.” —T.B. Dee, driver of the 52 Pickup Racing Monday Cigarettes race car.

“We’re glad to see T.B. really putting himself out there.  Maybe we can run a special paint scheme about the importance of washing behind the ears.” —Bill Miller, co-owner of 52 Pickup Racing.

ABOUT 52 PICKUP RACING: 52 Pickup Racing is NASCAR Cup’s newest race team.  Based out of Boogertown North Carolina, the team employs up-and-coming driver T.B. Dee and has a staunch anti-wedgie policy.

For more information please visit the 52 Pickup Racing website at www.52pickupracing.com

For all media inquiries please contact Moxoc Media at moxoc(at)moxoc.com

For Hero Card Requests, please send a self-addressed stamped envelope to the address below:

52 Pickup Racing

Attn: Hero Card Request

3911 Concord Pike

PO Box 7795

Wilmington DE 19803

23XI, Bubba Wallace Unveil McDLT “Throwback” Paint Scheme for Darlington

With this year’s Darlington “Throwback Weekend” happening May, many Nascar teams have already started unveiling their historic replica looks.  New team 23XI Racing made their announcement today that, in partnership with sponsor McDonalds, they will be running a “McDLT”-themed paint scheme on May 9th.

At least its not the "Hula Burger"

“We couldn’t be prouder to honor one of McDonalds’ most-iconic offerings, the legendary McDLT”, said Bill Calvin, director of marketing for 23XI.  “McDonald’s is relaunching its iconic lettuce and tomato hamburger on a very limited basis, and we’re here to get the word out about it.”

Driver Bubba Wallace hopes the change in liveries brings him luck at “the track too tough to tame.”

“I’m a little too young to remember the McDLT, but from what they tell me it was pretty much the Big N Tasty from the late-90’s”, Wallace said.  “Hopefully we can keep the 23 McDonalds McDLT Toyota on the hot-hot side and the competition on the cool-cool side.”

Calvin was elaborated on the details of the limited-time product relaunch.

“We got the idea from our Szechuan Sauce promotion—only this time there won’t be as many angry nerds”, Calvin explained. “For one day only we’ll be offering the only burger ever to be sold in a clamshell packaging—but don’t worry!  This time we’ll be offering it as a biodegradable plant-based casing.  Matter of fact, it might be the first menu item where the wrapping disintegrates before the food itself.”

For his part, Wallace has been working hard on researching the McDLT, unavailable since 1991.

“I’ve been reading up on it as much as I can”, Wallace said.  “I also tried to find some video footage of the original rollout, but all I see are those weird musical commercials with George (Jason Alexander) from Seinfeld.  Man, he REALLY lost a lot of hair.”

Despite a slow start to the year, Calvin said that McDonalds is pleased with 23XI’s early performance.

“I mean, we’re still a brand-new team—we’re still growing”, Calvin said.  “And I don’t think McDonalds will need to fix us wins at Daytona and Talladega—unlike SOME former racers in toupees.”

Uncle Max vs. Repeat Winners: Richmond

Finally, a string of good luck!

First I successfully negotiate my new lease on my townhouse to a very small cost of living increase (instead of a very LARGE rent hike) by locking in for two years.  Then I get one of my favorites to win for the first time this year in Cup.  And then finally I found out that I’ve lost five pounds since the start of the year!

Funny thing is I haven’t been trying all that hard to get in shape—my job has a lot of walking and some lifting involved, but I’m still a fiend for energy drinks and convenience store coffee rolls.  I guess its a combo of working more, getting better sleep, and having to push my car out of that ditch back in March.  See—positivity even from negativity!

XFINITY SERIES off

Saturday Afternoon TRUCK SERIES Toyota Care 250: Kyle Busch—Rowdy’s just too hard to bet against in the Truck Series.

Sunday CUP SERIES Toyota Owners 400. Repeat winner—Martin Truex Jr. FAVORITE (1 win): Chase Elliott—got the inside track with the outside pole (sorry). NEXT FAVORITE: Kyle Larson—I’m just feeling good about the Chevy’s this weekend.  DARK HORSE (1 win): Austin Dillon—can the Bowtie Brigade pull it off?

Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2021 Donruss Nascar Cards, Pack 1 and 2 of 24+

Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2021 Donruss Nascar Cards, pack-by-pack, week-by-week. 

Pack 1—Weatherman, New Jersian, and a SCUBA fan

FIRST LOOK: The first pack has the first special insert—an autographed Kyle Weatherman card!  Fun fact—in high school I wanted to be a weatherman but had to give it up.  Oh, there were plenty of reasons—politics, money, the fact that I sucked at math—the usual.

TO THE BACK: A major issue with the printing and distribution process is that information has to be solidified before the end of the season (with the exception of the champion, who gets on the packs and packaging).  So its kinda like when you would tape a movie on a VHS and the last fifteen minutes were missing—did Harry ever get back to the forest, or did he stay with the Hendersons?

SAY WHAT: “Oh lord, here comes Michael Waltrip.  Yes, I’ve dove into Lake Lloyd.  Yes, it was interesting.  Yes, I’m the only SCUBA-licensed driver in Nascar.  Can we move onto something ELSE, Mikey?”

RATING: 8 green flags out of 10

Pack 2—Monster, Farmer, and Port Tobacco Marylander

FIRST LOOK: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—the cooler a card looks, typically the worse it looks in pictures.  Then again my photography skills can best be described as “great at taking closeups of my thumb”.

TO THE BACK: Ross says he’s “…there to race”.  Well that’s good to know.  It would be unfortunate if he turned up to, say, Darlington and said he was there to bake cookies or perform elective surgery.

SAY WHAT: “If I ever run into that guy from Spade Racing, me and all 12 other townspeople of Port Tobacco are going to beat the wrestling references out of him.”

RATING: 3 contingency sponsors out of 10

52 Pickup Racing Celebrates Not Finishing Last

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (Boogertown, North Carolina)

This weekend was all about work for 52 Pickup Racing, but today is a day of celebration.  The entire team is at the under-construction race shop today to celebrate the 52 Monday Cigarettes race car not finishing in last place.

“This is what its all about!”, said jubilant driver T.B. Dee.  “There’s all the little victories you take throughout the year—not finishing in last place, beating a driver who blew an engine, speeding a little on pit road and getting away with it—and when you add them all together, its like about one-fifth of an actual race win.”

“We’re really proud of everyone on the team for their efforts this past weekend”, said Ray Kennedy, one of the fifty-two co-owners of 52 Pickup Racing.  “Today we celebrate the incontrovertible fact that we, 52 Pickup Racing, are legitimately better than at least one other race team in NASCAR Cup competition.

“But we’re not resting on our laurels”, Kennedy quickly added.  “Next week we’ll be back at it, working our hardest to achieve our next goal—to finish on the lead lap.”

QUOTES: “Hey, this cake is great—is it from the supermarket?” —T.B. Dee, driver of the 52 Pickup Racing Monday Cigarettes race car.

“52 Pickup Racing is showing…complete…growth both on and off the track this year” —Luis Dempsey, NASCAR News and Notes.

ABOUT 52 PICKUP RACING: 52 Pickup Racing is NASCAR Cup’s newest race team.  Based out of Boogertown North Carolina, the team employs up-and-coming driver T.B. Dee and is far too cool for unemployment insurance.

For more information please visit the 52 Pickup Racing website at www.52pickupracing.com

For all media inquiries please contact Moxoc Media at moxoc(at)moxoc.com

The Hero Card Project: Part 1

Nascar’s unique in that there’s a pretty cool way to get a (relatively) free souvenir from virtually every team—the hero card.  For the uninitiated, Hero Cards are large, well, cards printed on, well, card stock, containing driver, car, and team information.  Big and glossy, they work great for autographs, or just to collect.

Now normally I can get a good selection of Hero Cards from team race shops or at the track in the garage.  But with the whole pandemic going on, that’s a no-go.  So instead I’m mailing out a slew of Self-Addressed-Stamped-Envelopes (SASE’s) to every major and minor race team in the three national touring series.

Who’ll be the first to respond?  Who’ll have the best Hero Cards?  Who’ll send the most?  Will anyone still have outdated 2020 info?  And will anyone slip in a few goodies or even an autograph?  SEE BELOW!

So here’s what I’ve gotten so far over the past month, through April 5th (Day after Easter).  Some good stuff pictured in order of when they arrived.  Bonus points to those who included autographs!

The Wood Bros. on the pole!  Two nice cards and some cool autographs from the Wood family

A nice haul from GMS with plenty of autographs--AND a championship decal!

Two cards from the StarCom crew, including a leeeeetle autograph

Its understandable to get some out of date cards considering I requested them so early.  Love the foil
on the 34 FRM card!

JDM w/ Gary Keller means lots of cards and autographs!

Nice quartet from JR Motorsports, and a Michael Annett autograph

Again, I'm sure I'd get more from KBM if I mailed in my request later

A PERSONALIZED autograph from Jordan Anderson! and I got some little decals too! (not pictured)

A nice standardized (and autographed) five-pack from ThorSport

A smattering of cards from Rick Ware and Spire (from the same place)

Uncle Max vs. Repeat Winners: Martinsville

You know, negotiations are never fun.

My townhouse lease is up for renewal next month so of course I got my renewal letter in the mail yesterday—with a big, fat rent increase.  I don’t know how they can justify raising rent in a pandemic—ESPECIALLY when a person’s driveway doesn’t get plowed until 10am, hint hint—but now its up to me to work on lowering it.

The good thing (I guess?) is that I’m honestly maxed-out on my budget—even with my stimulus payment I’m barely skirting by on my weekly paycheck lately.  So hopefully I can convince the landlord that I can only withstand a $20 per month increase without having to go into debt.  And nobody wants to be in hock on a townhouse between a family of seven and a 450lb shut in.

TRUCK SERIES off

Friday Night XFINITY SERIES Cook Out 250: Harrison Burton—repeat from last year’s Xfinity race at Martinsville.

Saturday Night CUP SERIES Blue Emu 500. Repeat winner—Joey Logano. FAVORITE: Martin Truex Jr.—seems like its about time for him to overcome some manufactured “adversity”—pit road penalty?  Fueling issue?  Alien abduction? NEXT FAVORITE: Denny Hamlin—as JGR begins to assert itself as the dominant team.  DARK HORSE (1 win): Kyle Busch—Rowdy’s finally fallen into “Dark Horse” territory—although a win would lift him out immediately.

2020 Panini Nascar Chronicles Cards Unboxing PACK 24 of 24

Panini comes out every year with a “super premium” series of Nascar cards, chock full of memorabilia pieces, autographs, and rookie cards.  This year its the Chronicles Series.  Join me as we unbox, unwrap, and unpack six “Blaster Boxes” worth of cards!

PACK 24—Michael Self, and Give me Some Help Putting These on the Shelf

FIRST THING’S FIRST: Let’s use this final pack (and another blurry shot) to talk about what I do with these cards when they’re done—I collate and put them away in binders then put them on a bookcase.  Always helpful to have something worthless to appreciate in value!

TO THE BACK: No talk of the Sinclair dinosaur?  Blasphemy!

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING: “I’m going back to Xfinity, but at least I left my mark on Cup.  Granted, its in the form of some uniform swatches, but a mark nonetheless.”

FINAL SCORE: 8 checkered flags out of 10.