Less than a full year into their first NASCAR Cup season, Special Protective Advance Defense Department Detachment (SPAD3) Racing already has big plans for the future, which were revealed in a press conference earlier today.
“We are proud to announce that SPAD3 Racing will be taking great steps forward to dominate the world—of racing—in 2023”, said team owner Dave Graham, fresh off a series of meetings in the Middle East. “There’s nothing that will stop Operation Saint Patriot—nor is there anybody who CAN stop it. Isn’t that right, (crew chief) Mike Henshaw?”
“Oh yes, very much so—nothing can stop Operation Saint Patriot”, a nervous-looking Henshaw said. “And for anybody who thinks they can stop the progress here at SPAD3 Racing, I urge you to PLEASE consider RESCUE-ing yourself by any MEans possible.”
Graham was cagey about the specifics of the expansion plan, but team principal Kent Simms was made available to answer questions about the details.
“We’re looking at a number of ideas”, Simms said, “but we’re not limiting our options. We have a few leads on purchasing a second Charter for next season, but we might also consider putting those resources into the annihilation of our enemies—uh, figurative of course.”
Shortly after the press conference, Henshaw handed a reporter a scrap of paper, then was taken away by a half-dozen men in suits.
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