Spade Racing: March 2024

William Byron Reluctantly Agrees to New Nickname: The Quiet Storm

Coming off his second win of the young 2024 Nascar season, William Byron isn’t looking to change much going into today’s Richmond race. However, one change was made to the driver’s marketing efforts—a new nickname.

“For years some people joked that I was the only driver without a nickname”, Byron said at a press conference at the Richmond Raceway media center yesterday evening. “But from this point on, you can call me William ‘The Quiet Storm’ Byron. Or just William, that’s still ok.”

The change appears to have been put forth by Byron’s public relations manager.

“You can call him ‘The Quiet Storm’ in all your reports this weekend”, said Clayton Townsend, Byron’s PR manager for the past three years. “Feel free to use headlines such as ‘Quiet Storm Swamps Competition’ or ‘Quiet Storm Reigns at Richmond’.”

“They can still call me William, or Byron, if they want”, the driver interjected. “You don’t HAVE to call me exclusively by my nickname—this isn’t Brazilian soccer.”

When asked why “The Quiet Storm” was chosen, Townsend had an evocative response.

“When The Quiet Storm takes to the track, you might not expect him to win. He might not even be starting up front—no offense. But then, with about twenty laps to go, there he is, in the lead, ready to dominate his way to another win. Dominating like a downpour of rain that no one saw coming.”

Byron then added, “plus it seems like some of the races I win aren’t that eventful, I guess.”

While Townsend was handing out “Quiet Storm” branded hats to the assembled media, Byron detailed other names that were thrown around.

“Lord Byron doesn’t really work, because literature puns typically don’t go over well past 1895”, Byron said. “And even though I have Liberty U as a sponsor, calling myself “The Flame” (Liberty’s mascot) might become uncomfortably ironic.”

“Keep an eye on the skies—a Quiet Storm is coming to Richmond tomorrow”, Townsend said, while Byron rolled his eyes.

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Richmond Race Picks: Uncle Max vs. 13th Place

Last week’s triple header and this week’s doubleheader on the Nascar schedule come at a less-than-opportune time for me, as I’ve picked up some extra hours at work for the past two weeks. Why? Well, despite what you may think, it’s NOT to distract me from my already busted March Madness bracket. And no, it’s not because I need more money (although, let’s be honest, all of us always want more money, just like Sally Struthers said). The truth is that we’re VERY understaffed at work, and they’ve needed me to cover some shifts.

Now, I’m not going to come at you with the inane “nObOdY wAnT’s To WoRk” drivel you’ve probably seen argued constantly online. But it is tough when you’re trying to help run a big box retail store and you barely have enough people to staff it even with limited hours. So if you’re a customer somewhere where it looks like the only two people there are overwhelmed, trust me: they are.

TRUCK SERIES (1 win) off

Saturday Afternoon XFINITY SERIES ToyotaCare 250: CHANDLER SMITH—could he BE having a better return to Toyota?

Sunday CUP SERIES Toyota Owners 400: 13th Place Picks CHASE BRISCOE. FAVORITE: DENNY HAMLIN—fun fact—Briscoe has finished thirteenth two races in a row. NEXT FAVORITE: WILLIAM BYRON—petition to nickname him “The Quiet Storm”. DARK HORSE: BUBBA WALLACE—could I get someone to take odds on him crying in victory lane?

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Spade Racing Opens 2 Boxes of 2023 Panini Chronicles Cards, Pack 6 of 12

PACK 6: Mustache, Not too Rash, and Got the Cash

FIRST LOOK: Brett Moffitt’s so far ahead in the “best active driver mustache” category it’ll have to be called “The Brett Moffitt” pretty soon.

TO THE BACK: Its nice to know that Rajah seems to be pretty grounded and level-headed, which likely helps him when he’s asked if he’s related to that football player.

SAY WHAT?: “Hate me all you want—I keep making millions”.

RATING: 6 overtime laps out of 10.

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NASCAR ROTY RANKINGS 1983: Ranking the Rookie of the Year Classes Through the Years

Join me as we take a look at every NASCAR Cup Rookie of the Year class from 1972 (the start of the modern era) through 2021, going from the worst to the first in terms of overall careers of each year’s rookie class.

1983

Sterling Marlin's rookie car

Winner: Sterling Marlin (Hamby). Runners Up: Trevor Boys (Hylton), Ronnie Hopkins (Henderson), Bobby Hillin Jr. (Hillin). Aborted Attempt: Ken Ragan

How their careers turned out: It definitely took awhile, but Sterling Marlin wound up having a great career, punctuated by a pair of Daytona 500 wins and a 2002 season where he could’ve won the Cup championship if not for an injury. Its a big drop-off from Sterling, however, to a guy famous for being Canadian (Boys), a guy famous for absolutely nothing (Hopkins), and a guy famous for winning one race and absolutely nothing else (Hillin).

“Fun” “Fact” about the winner: The long wait for his first Cup win makes Sterling Marlin a lot like Michael Waltrip, only much much MUCH less insufferable.

Ranking: #24 out of 50

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FANS EXPLAIN…Why Full Grandstands Make for Better Races on TV

Despite a wild, exciting race at Bristol last weekend, some fans online were complaining about what looked to be less than half-full grandstands at the massive race track. When asked why a sellout at the track negatively impacted their enjoyment of a race they were watching from home, here were their responses:

Beau Sherwood

“My eyes are allergic to seeing bare metal bleachers—I nearly went blind in 2020” —Beau Sherwood, 34 (accountant)

“Any time we see empty stands, I have to listen to my husband’s monologue about how Nascar died with Dale (Earnhardt) Sr.” —Talia Harris, 42 (teacher)

“I stopped going to races due to traffic in 2005, and I don’t feel like being reminded that I can go back now” —Kris Wilmot, 51 (bartender)

“Duh—because I only got into Nascar because it was popular in the late-90’s” —Josh Hussey, 38 (HVAC technician)

“I use Nascar to perfect my whining so I’ll be ready once the NFL season restarts in the fall” —Kobi Brown, 24 (retail manager)

Ali Love

“When I go to a race, everyone wants to sit right next to ME, so why should Bristol fans have it any better?” —Ali Love, 22 (fashion model)

“It’s all about in-person impressions for sponsors. And as an owner of 10 shares of Mahindra stock, I think they owe me” —Ty Spangler, 62 (dispatcher)

“I’m a Matt DiBenedetto fan—we complain about everything” —Aric Chambers, 48 (locksmith)

“What should I do—simply compliment Nascar on an exciting race?” —Michelle Bullock, 66 (retired)

Raymon Walker

“I lost my Bristol tickets in the divorce—why remind me that she isn’t even using them anymore?” —Raymon Walker, 41 (customer service representative)

“I just don’t like Nascar anymore, but I can’t find any other sport to like. You can see the bind I’m in” —M.J. Cooley, 43 (electrical engineer)

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COTA Race Picks: Uncle Max vs. 13th Place

And now, here’s Uncle Max's 2024 Men’s March Madness Predictions:

Big First Round Upset Winners: 12-seed UAB, 15-seed South Dakota State, 12-seed GCU, 14-seed Colgate.

Sweet Sixteen Surprises: 7-seed Wazzu, 7-seed Dayton, 5-seed Gonzaga

Final Four: UConn, UNC, Kentucky, Gonzaga

Championship Game: Kentucky over UNC

Saturday Early Afternoon TRUCK SERIES (1 win) XPEL 225: LAYNE RIGGS—three straight COTA wins for the 38 truck.

Saturday Late Afternoon XFINITY SERIES FOCUSED HEALTH 250: AJ ALLMENDINGER—and its pretty cool that a track that’s hosted Max Verstappen and Lewis Hamilton can also host Jeb Burton and JJ Yeley.

Sunday CUP SERIES EchoPark Grand Prix: 13th Place Picks CHASE BRISCOE. FAVORITE: AJ ALLMENDINGER—double the Dinger, double the fun. NEXT FAVORITE: CHASE ELLIOTT—the comeback begins…now. DARK HORSE: MICHAEL MCDOWELL—how do you answer a tall order? With a tall driver.

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Spade Racing Opens 2 Boxes of 2023 Panini Chronicles Cards, Pack 5 of 12

PACK 5: Toni B, Jake-y Drew, and Jordan A

FIRST LOOK: A nice autograph from racer, model, and chicken finger enthusiast Toni Breidinger.

TO THE BACK: I appreciate these cards as a way to learn about up-and-coming drivers like Jake Drew here. Although the fact that they’re mostly less than half my age DOES remind me of my mortality.

SAY WHAT?: “In the time it took you to read this, I’ve put out three press releases.”

RATING: 7 set of tires out of 10.

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NASCAR ROTY RANKINGS 1982: Ranking the Rookie of the Year Classes Through the Years

Geoff Bodine

1982

Winner: Geoff(rey) Bodine (Cliff Stewart). Runner Up: Mark Martin (Martin). Aborted Attempt: Brad Teague

How their careers turned out: While he was Geoff, Bodine had a great career racing for teams such as Hendrick Motorsports (as their first driver), Junior Johnson, Bud Moore, and his own team. As Geoffrey he, well, kind of hung around too long. Mark Martin, meanwhile, came back to Nascar after a rough start to be arguably the best driver to never win a championship.

“Fun” “Fact” about the winner: Say what you will about Geoff(rey), but he’s the only person on the planet to have a spectacular Truck crash AND build a bobsled.

Ranking: #13 out of 50

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Two Card-Related Updates Spade Racing Opens 2 Boxes of 2023 Panini Chronicles Cards, Pack 4 of 12

UPDATE 1: My requests for 2024 Hero Cards went out on Friday! Want to know more about The Hero Card Project? CLICK HERE

UPDATE 2: I recently obtained a second box of 2023 Panini Chronicles cards! So there’ll be TWELVE packs instead of just six. In fact, here’s a bonus cards post now!

PACK 4: THUNDER THUNDER THUNDER THUNDER THUNDER

FIRST LOOK: I’m always a sucker for a “swatch” card, and I get a small piece of Matty D’s truck here. Although with his sponsor last year, maybe a roof shingle would’ve been more appropriate.

TO THE BACK: I agree that you’re only as good as your last race, but let’s not go all Kasey Kahne on him—Daniel’s had a decent career so far, he should go a little easier on himself.

SAY WHAT?: THUNDER THUNDER THUNDER THUNDER THUNDER

RATING: 6 pit stops out of 10.

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

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Visit the store https://www.cafepress.com/spaderacing

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