UNCLE MAX vs. REPEAT WINNERS vs. THE ROULETTE WHEEL: Dover

Editor’s Note: Uncle Max is working overtime to get inventory done at work.  His picks were texted to me below:

TRUCK SERIES off

Saturday Afternoon XFINITY SERIES A-Game 200 (1 win): AJ Allmendinger—AJ-Game.

Sunday CUP SERIES DuraMax 400: LAST RACE’S WINNER picks Ross Chastain.  THE ROULETTE WHEEL picks 11th in points Kevin Harvick.  FAVORITE (1 win): Alex Bowman—returning the 48 to its place of glory at Dover (not Downs).  NEXT FAVORITE (1 win): William Byron—going from “good year” to “breakout year” at Dover (not International Speedway).  DARK HORSE (1 win): Austin Cindric—following in the footsteps of Derrike Cope at Dover Motor Speedway.

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

www.facebook.com/spaderacing

www.twitter.com/spaderacing

Visit the store

Buy the book

A MOXOC Media production

www.moxoc.com

Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2021-22 Panini Prizm Nascar Cards, Pack 3 of 12

Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2022 Panini Prizm Nascar Cards.  Because there’s 12 cards per pack, each pack is split in two.

Pack 3 Part 1—Deegan Again, the Weatherman, and an AJ Foyt ‘Stan’

FIRST LOOK: Much like last year’s cards, there’s a LOT of Halie Deegan in this set.  Interested to see if she can take “The Leap” in 2022, or winds up a modern-day Erin Crocker (minus the whole “marrying your team owner” thing).

TO THE BACK: While its nice that Kyle helps his team prepare the car, I’m guessing it has less to do with “build(ing) relationships with the team” and more to do with keeping the car from sitting in the corner due to a lack of manpower.

SAY WHAT: “OK, I own my own race team, drive the number 14, even got a bit of beef to me.  Now what do I need to do to be more like AJ Foyt—oh, right: punch Arie Luyendyk.”

RATING: 5 revamped qualifying sessions out of 10

Musically Declined: NASCAR Goes Country, I Can Help

Stock Car Racing and Country Music—two pillars of culture in the Southern United States.  And the two have mingled throughout the years.  So put on your racing shoes, make sure they match your cowboy hat, and settle in for a look back at some of Nascar’s biggest stars turned Nashville wannabes!

The Song: I Can Help by Billy Swan

The Star: Darrell Waltrip 

The Clip: 

The Review: About as close as we can get to a pop song here.  And DW, well, its a good thing that he had racing to fall back on.  I mean, hearing his voice here you’d never believe that he’d become a beloved broadcaster in the 00’s.  Although as long as this drones on you’ll easily believe that he’d become a disliked broadcaster in the 10’s.

The Verdict: Jaws could’ve used some singing lessons, music training, and possibly a brand new voice.  Otherwise, he’s fine.

Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2021-22 Panini Prizm Nascar Cards, Pack 2 of 12

Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2022 Panini Prizm Nascar Cards.  Because there’s 12 cards per pack, each pack is split in two.

Pack 2 Part 2—An Autograph, Jimmie Math, and the RackleyWAR Path

FIRST LOOK: We’re back on track here with a Daniel Suarez autograph!  Also dig the cool face mask Daniel’s got on here—way to make the best of an irritating situation.

TO THE BACK: So as you can see, even if the “Chase” points system wasn’t introduced, Jimmie would likely still have won his first championship.  Now if we could just get him to get rid of that beard…

SAY WHAT: “RackleyWAR, what is it good for? One ARCA race in 2021, apparently.”

RATING: 9 racing lines out of 10

The Hero Card Project Part 3

Click Here for Part 2

its been just two weeks since, but plenty more Hero Cards have come in!  Here’s what’s arrived from April 9th through April 23rd.

Four cards from 23XI Racing

Three AUTOGRAPHED cards from the Front Row people

A personalized autograph from Nick Sanchez at Rev Racing!

Some nice autographed cards from RWR

A card for each driver--and a personalized note!--from SHR

Two cards (one from last year) from Kaulig

A card from each driver at Team Penske

EIGHT autographed cards from Jeremy Clements!

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

www.facebook.com/spaderacing

www.twitter.com/spaderacing

Visit the store

Buy the book

A MOXOC Media production

www.moxoc.com

UNCLE MAX vs. REPEAT WINNERS vs. THE ROULETTE WHEEL: Talladega

OK, let’s get this out of the way first—picking Talladega is like picking a winner on the roulette wheel.  Yeah, yeah, ha ha.

OK, now with THAT out of the way, how the heck are we supposed to make picks for dirt races when Nascar doesn’t even seem to know how to call them itself?  I mean, you don’t see the NFL deciding to play a weekend on asphalt, then struggle to call when a receiver gets road rash.  Then again, its still easier to figure out than tennis scoring.

TRUCK SERIES off

Saturday Afternoon XFINITY SERIES Ag Pro 300 (1 win): Kaz Grala—has experience, and is an upgrade over Jade Buford (yeah, yeah, I know—damning with faint praise).

Sunday CUP SERIES GEICO 500: LAST RACE’S WINNER picks Kyle Busch.  THE ROULETTE WHEEL picks 29th in points Ricky Stenhouse Jr.  FAVORITE (1 win): Harrison Burton—the 100th Wood Bros win—finally!  NEXT FAVORITE (1 win): Denny Hamlin—quietly becoming a plate racing expert.  DARK HORSE (1 win): Daniel Suarez—to put Trackhouse clearly ahead of Kaulig and 23XI.

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

www.facebook.com/spaderacing

www.twitter.com/spaderacing

Visit the store

Buy the book

A MOXOC Media production

www.moxoc.com

SPAD3 RACING STARTS NEW FAN OUTREACH PROGRAM

In an attempt to broaden its appeal amongst race fans, Special Protective Advance Defense Department Detachment (SPAD3) Racing has implemented a new “fan outreach” program to cultivate its fan base.

“We’re not like any other race team—we’re new, we’re based in Northern Virginia, our driver’s a robot”, said team principal Kent Simms, “but we still want to have a robust and passionate fan base.  That’s why we’re encouraging fans to reach out to us through our public relations partners.”

Fans are encouraged to call, text, or email their favorite aspects about the team—even things the team can improve on.

“Believe us, there’s plenty that we can improve on, especially on the public relations side”, Simms said.  “So fans can send us what THEY’D like to see from us—giveaways, Twitter shoutouts, selective annihilation—the usual.  All we’re asking is for fans to give us their names, locations, and social security numbers.”

Veteran crew chief Mike Henshaw has voiced his support for the program.

“I mean, usually we have fans and sponsors join us on pit road before the race”, Henshaw said, “but here, its just me, the robot (driver MOXOC) and like a dozen guys in suits.  I guess the higher ups want to run things their own ways here.”

To submit YOUR suggestions, visit the official team website at SPAD3.com today.

Nascar Cup Goes Dirt Racing v2.0: The Drinking Game

Last year saw Nascar Cup return to dirt racing for the first time in decades.  And the result, well, it wasn’t very good.  But this year, things look to be improved thanks to some new tech and a different start time.  If you don’t have to work on Monday, feel free to join in (responsibly!) with this fun drinking game:

TAKE A SIP WHEN…

—anybody makes a lame Easter (rabbit/chocolate/etc.) pun

—Clint Bowyer or Darrell Waltrip talk about wanting to be out there

—there’s a single-car spin

—the race is referred to as a “wild card” or a “ticket to the Playoffs”

TAKE A DRINK WHEN…

—Bubba Wallace is focused on IF he’s 20th or worse

—the new mudflaps are shown, lauded, or analyzed

—Colossus is focused on

—a driver or crew member complains about “working” on Easter

FINISH THE GLASS WHEN…

—there’s a fight

—there’s a first-time winner

—someone curses (seven dirty words rule) and it makes it on the air

—The Ty Gibbs/Sam Mayer fight is shoehorned in somehow

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

www.facebook.com/spaderacing

www.twitter.com/spaderacing

Visit the store

Buy the book

A MOXOC Media production

www.moxoc.com

UNCLE MAX vs. REPEAT WINNERS vs. THE ROULETTE WHEEL: Bristol Dirt

Well, that was quite a to-do last week after the Xfinity Series race, eh?  As someone who’s broken up their fair share of Black Friday fights in my store, here’s some tips for how to diffuse a brawl:

—Don’t say “relax”, “calm down”, or “chill out”.  It just makes them angrier and you might get a shopping basket to the side of the head for your efforts.

—Grab them by the waist—too high or too low and you might have a harassment lawsuit on your hands.

—ALWAYS take them to the old storeroom with nothing in it.  That way if you have to step away, there’s nothing for them to throw around.

—Feel free to smack the random customer who, long after the fight is under control, says “ok, that’s enough”.

Saturday Night TRUCK SERIES Pinty’s Dirt Truck Race: Stewart Friesen—time for the Canadian dirt expert to bring his Eh game.

XFINITY SERIES (1 win) off

Sunday Night CUP SERIES Food City Dirt Race: LAST RACE’S WINNER picks William Byron.  THE ROULETTE WHEEL picks 14th in points Austin Cindric.  FAVORITE (1 win): Denny Hamlin—one repeat winner deserves another.  NEXT FAVORITE (1 win): Ryan Blaney—the “quiet start” finally breaks.  DARK HORSE (1 win): Ricky Stenhouse Jr.—he DID come in 2nd place last year.

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

www.facebook.com/spaderacing

www.twitter.com/spaderacing

Visit the store

Buy the book

A MOXOC Media production

www.moxoc.com

Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2021-22 Panini Prizm Nascar Cards, Pack 1 of 12

Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2022 Panini Prizm Nascar Cards.  Because there’s 12 cards per pack, each pack is split in two.

Pack 1 Part 2—Double-Vision, Hendrick’s Decision, and JTG-D Division

FIRST LOOK: Some nice-looking designs for the Flashbacks and Legends sub-series here, as shown by Jeff Gordon.  With Jeff going back to Hendrick Motorsports in 2022 in a leadership role, that means FOUR of the six cards here are for HMS employees.  Talk about, um, “variety”?

TO THE BACK: While its obvious that Panini wouldn’t mention Kyle Larson’s 2020, I’m surprised they didn’t discuss the weeks-long, drag-out negotiations between Hendrick Motorsports and Hendrick Cars.

SAY WHAT: “Huh—so we’re down to one car now, are we?  I’d better wreck twice as much so all our fab guys still have jobs.”

RATING: 7 new number placements out of 10

Musically Declined: NASCAR Goes Country, Maybelline

Stock Car Racing and Country Music—two pillars of culture in the Southern United States.  And the two have mingled throughout the years.  So put on your racing shoes, make sure they match your cowboy hat, and settle in for a look back at some of Nascar’s biggest stars turned Nashville wannabes!

The Song: Maybelline by Chuck Berry

The Star: David Pearson

The Clip: 

The Review: Here we hear a common trope of gimmick songs—the professionals sing the chorus while the untrained star talk-sings the verses.  I mean, at least David Pearson seems to be trying?  A for effort, D- for performance.

The Verdict: At least he beats out Richard Petty.

The Hero Card Project Part 2

Click Here for Part 1

its been less than a month since the last entry, but plenty more Hero Cards have come in!  Here’s what’s arrived from March 21st through April 8th.

Two Myatt Snider autographs from JAR

Two HMS cards with a friendly note!

Hailie & the Gray brothers from DGR

Two autographed cards from Spire Motorsports

A pair of signed Joe Graf Jr. cards from SS-Greenlight

A six-pack of hero cards (including a bizarre one for the band Ghost) from JD Motorsports

Four cards--two Cup, two Xfinity--from the RCR bunch

"Just" two Truex cards from JGR, but a friendly note explains why

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

www.facebook.com/spaderacing

www.twitter.com/spaderacing

Visit the store

Buy the book

A MOXOC Media production

www.moxoc.com

Helmeted Ty Gibbs Can’t Figure Out Why People Hate Him

Shortly after a shoving match turned into an all-out brawl on pit road, Nascar Xfinity Series driver Ty Gibbs wondered aloud why everyone seems to hate him. 

“I don’t get it”, Gibbs said while keeping his helmet on, “why do people dislike me? I mean I’m just like everyone else—just a kid trying to plow his way through the competition with my chrome horn and top-notch equipment—who wouldn’t like that?”

The youthful Gibbs has picked up a reputation as a “dirty driver” in the past twelve months due to actions that he seems to think are warranted. 

“Sure, I race people hard”, the helmeted Gibbs said, “but I need to show that I belong. I’m sure everyone can related to being the grandson of an NFL Hall of Fame coach turned millionaire race team owner.”

Gibbs, for his part, showed little desire to change his ways. 

“If someone wants to punch me in the mouth for being aggressive, then take your best shot”, Gibbs said while gesturing at the lower part of his helmet. “But for all the legacy kids out there who’ve been bullied for bullying others in their professions, I’ll stand tall for all of us.”

For his part, Sam Mayer—the other participant in said brawl—said he will keep flying the flag for sons of obscure IRL drivers. 

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

www.facebook.com/spaderacing

www.twitter.com/spaderacing

Visit the store

Buy the book

A MOXOC Media production

www.moxoc.com

UNCLE MAX vs. REPEAT WINNERS vs. THE ROULETTE WHEEL: Martinsville

Life is pretty darn good—I got wins in all three of my Cup categories, I got the work bonus for most sales of our monthly special for March, and I’m now the proud owner of a certified pre-owned car!

That’s right, just before my ol’ not-so reliable gave up the ghost, I was able to trade it in for a nice new-to-me ride.  Its nice to have a car with power windows that actually work, a heater that doesn’t smell like wet dog for the first five minutes every morning, and is actually worth waxing.  On top of that, the payments are QUITE reasonable!  I’m glad to have that negotiation out of the way so that I can focus on renewing my lease for my townhouse—nobody wants to have to move an entire fantasy football draft kit.

Thursday Night TRUCK SERIES United Rentals 200: John Hunter Nemechek—won’t even have to punt a teammate out of the way to win it.

Friday Night XFINITY SERIES (1 win) Call 811 Before You Dig 250: Ty Gibbs—two in a row.

Saturday Night CUP SERIES Toyota Owners 400: LAST RACE’S WINNER picks Denny Hamlin.  THE ROULETTE WHEEL picks 6th in points Ross Chastain.  FAVORITE (1 win): Joey Logano—punting Denny Hamlin?  NEXT FAVORITE (1 win): Kyle Larson—could this be a case of tons of action back in the pack while one guy dominates the race up front?  DARK HORSE (1 win): Kurt Busch—heck of a comeback from last week.

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

www.facebook.com/spaderacing

www.twitter.com/spaderacing

Visit the store

Buy the book

A MOXOC Media production

www.moxoc.com

Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2021-22 Panini Prizm Nascar Cards, Pack 1 of 12

Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2022 Panini Prizm Nascar Cards.  Because there’s 12 cards per pack, each pack is split in two.

Pack 1 Part 1—Mason Massey, Rusty’s Chassis, and Kinda Mask-y

FIRST LOOK: Mason probably won’t mind if we use HIS card to study the base design of this set.  Nice use of the futuristic “frame”, while the standard PRIZM and RC logos return as usual.  All-told a nice look, even if the first part of the first pack doesn’t have that great of a selection.

TO THE BACK: Huh.  That’s odd.  I thought any and all Rusty Wallace blurbs had to mention “Midnight”, his oddly-legendary chassis from the early-90s.

SAY WHAT: “Masking up is important—almost as important as keeping your funding despite a dearth of on-track performance”.

RATING: 2 restarts under review out of 10

SPAD3 RACING UNVEILS SPONSOR PARTNERS FOR 2022 SEASON

Special Protective Advance Defense Department Detachment (SPAD3) Racing officially unveiled its 2022 corporate partners this morning with its 2022 primary paint scheme.

2022's primary paint scheme

“We’re proud to welcome Bank and Energy Drink as our primary partners for 2022”, said team principal Kent Simms.  “Bank is there for all your financial needs, and Energy Drink is available starting today at Convenience Store, located right near you.”

The #86 car will also have a pair of major associate sponsors to start the season.

“Well, you can’t run a car without Motor Oil, and that’s what Motor Oil is”, said crew chief Mike Henshaw.  “And really, in this day in age you can’t run a race team without some high quality Machine Tools.  And that’s what Machine Tool provides.  I mean, its a little strange that they have such generic names, but who am I to judge?”

Robotic driver MOXOC was said to be proud to welcome such widely-known companies to the SPAD3 Racing team, but was unable to comment in anything other than binary code.

“That MOXOC—we’ll have him speaking plain any day now!” Simms said.  “I should point out to all our fans that we did have options in who to partner with us.  I mean, we were on the verge of signing a deal with Victory Gin, but the timing was off.”

For more information on the team, visit its official website at SPAD3.com.