Spade Racing: April 2020

The Best Nascar TV Theme Songs of All-Time PART 2

A bit of a break from the normal routine as Spade Racing takes a look at the best Nascar television theme songs of all-time. (note—a * after the song title means it is the actual documented song title—all others are descriptions by me).

PART 2—Songs 10-6

10. TNT 2009 “Highway Star”*—“Highway Star” is a decent, if a bit obvious, choice. Buckcherry is a decent, but not obvious at all, choice. Put together we get an awesome theme that kicked—arguably the best combination of “old and new”. Unfortunately it only got used for a single year for six races.

Fun Fact: Deep Purple’s original version of “Highway Star” was used in a Nextel commercial starring Jeff Gordon.

9. Fox 00’s & current “Twangy Guitar”—Officially called “Nascar on Fox theme”, this song is immediately noticeable for its hard-charging beat and its off-and-on use of guitars with a noticeable twang to it. A great combo of hard rock and country flavor—just like Nascar itself.

Fun Fact: “Nascar on Fox theme” composer Scott Scheer also created Fox’s themes for NFL, NHL, and MLB coverage.

8. ESPN Auto Racing 8x “18th Avenue (Kansas City Nightmare)”*—You could be excused if you didn’t realize that the basis of ESPN’s long-running theme song was by the former Cat Stevens of all people. A song that couldn’t have less to do with motorsports had its instrumental bridge turned into an awesome anthem of speed throughout ESPN’s “Auto Racing 82/83/84 etc.” years.

Fun Fact: “18th Avenue (Kansas City Nightmare)” is from the album “Catch Bull at Four, which spent three weeks as #1 on the Billboard Album Charts.

7. TNN Motorsports mid-90’s “Rotunda”—Lacking in name or easy description, I chose a name based on the column of graphics that whirls around as this song plays. A bit of an ironic pair, the former “The Nashville Network” chose a very non-country song for its Nascar coverage. Goes to show that sometimes the less-obvious choice works best, as this classy song complimented some great underrated coverage.

Fun Fact: In addition to Nascar, TNN Motorsports also had coverage of such racing series as NHRA and the IRL.

6. CBS mid-90’s “Rock Symphony”—For three years CBS used this beautifully-arranged combination of orchestral sounds with a wailing guitar and pumping beats. Just listening to a few seconds of it makes you want to get in front of the TV and wait to see the new paint schemes whirl around Daytona.

Fun Fact: CBS would typically hold off on introducing new theme songs and graphics packages till the day of the Daytona 500, using the “old” packages for Busch Clash and qualifying coverage.

The Best (and Worst) Nascar TV Theme Songs of All-Time PART 1

A bit of a break from the normal routine as Spade Racing takes a look at the best Nascar television theme songs of all-time (well, mostly from the modern era), as well as a few of the worst. (note—a * after the song title means it is the actual documented song title—all others are descriptions by me).

PART 1—Honorable and DIShonorable Mentions

Five songs that just barely missed the top ten…

HM 1. ESPN SpeedWorld late-80’s “Techno Logo”—the first true “SpeedWorld” theme, this took the original (the instrumental bridge from Cat Stevens’ “18th Avenue”) and gave it a nice futuristic feel. And don’t worry—SpeedWorld’s variations will be making appearances in the top ten!

HM 2. TNN Motorsports late-90’s “Rock Theme”—a modernized version of a short-lived but beloved theme, this is the one you remember hearing as graphics appeared zooming by an anonymous driver. Probably would’ve been better had it not been an obvious rip-off of a better-known theme by another network’s motorsports coverage.

HM 3. CBS late-90’s “Dramatic Symphony”—CBS’s race coverage was a bit outdated by the end of their run, but at least they had a nice theme song.

HM 4. NBC/NBCSN late-10’s “Runnin’ Down the Dream”*—Z.Z. Ward’s version might not be as good as the Tom Petty original, and it took a few weeks to grow on me, but damned if this isn’t a catchy tune.

HM 5. CBS 1985 Michigan-only “Separate Ways”*—for reasons unbeknownst to anyone, someone at CBS decided to use the instrumental opening of Journey’s “Separate Ways” (a song that has nothing to do with racing) for a single race in 1985. This makes the list purely for its randomness, with bonus points for the opening itself featuring random shots of cars going through tech inspection.

…and five songs that made me want to throw my remote through the TV.

1. Any and all “Bro-Country”—Whether it was Fox abandoning a classic theme for “Siiiiiidewaaaaaysssss” or NBC cramming Blake Shelton down everyone’s throats, beer-drinking anthems reek of out-of-touch executives telling southerners what they like.

2. ESPN’s “Jetsons” theme (51:08 in this vid)—When ESPN came back to Nascar there was a lot of hope they could recapture the glory years of “SpeedWorld”. What we got instead was a jumbled mess personified by a lame futuristic instrumental complete with Jetsons-esque sound effects. Yeesh.

3. Fox’s NFL theme—Part of Fox’s odd plan to invade all its sports coverage with its NFL theme song, this made absolutely zero sense. I doubt anyone’s enjoyment of a race has ever been enhanced by using a football song instead of an original track.

4. TNN Motorsports’ “Spastic Horns”—used in the mid-90’s, this musical abomination combined a laid-back rhythm with seemingly randomly-placed horn sounds. It was less-Nascar, more-Jazz band tuning up.

5. Random Banjo Music (11:48 in this vid)—a staple of 80’s coverage was a theme song of generic banjo looped over and over. Thankfully this died out as Nascar went mainstream, as it seemed to have about five minutes worth of forethought (and work) put into it.

Everything Clint Bowyer Blames Bubba Wallace For

If you’ve seen Fox’s coverage of iRacing action over the past month or so, you know that guest commentator/competitor Clint Bowyer seems to blame a number of issues on fellow competitor Bubba Wallace. Here’s a full list of what the SHR driver blames the RPM driver for:

—wrecking him repeatedly

I think he also blames Bubba for his
itchy arm

—quitting in the middle of the race

—his favorite sub shop being closed

—his DVR missing the last few minutes of Episode 2 of “The Last Dance”

—Andy Reid’s Tommy Bahama shirts during draft coverage

—the left front tire on his daily driver being low on air despite inflating it the Saturday before last

—his local grocery store no longer carrying that brand of conditioner that doesn’t make his hair look “too brassy”

—that nightmare on Tuesday where he dreamt he was back in high school and had a final for a class he hadn’t been to all semester

—Bubba not competing in today’s race

2020 Donruss Panini Nascar Cards Unboxing PACK 4

Continuing a tradition of limited esteem, Spade Racing bought, unboxed, and unpacked a sealed box of 2020 Donruss (Panini) Nascar trading cards. Join us as we go through each eight-card pack to find the good, the bad, and the downright weird.

PACK 4—Waltrip Guys, Shaded Eyes, and Exercise

Both Waltrip brothers get a card in this pack, which, fittingly, also includes Danica Patrick and Dale Earnhardt Jr. This is as good a time as any to point out that while candid shots typically look more-natural than posted ones, Donruss/Panini doesn’t always seem to pick the best ones—Justin Haley here looks like he’s irritated about sore feet.

FIRST THING’S FIRST: A black-and-white picture of Darrell Waltrip gets the “Dominators” treatment, reminding modern fans that for a 12-15 year period, DW was arguably the sport’s biggest star. Granted that was followed by about 10 years of running at the back, but nobody’s perfect.

SECOND LOOK: Chase Briscoe proves that there’s two types of people who look cool with big sunglasses—cops and race car drivers. Everyone else just looks like they had their pupils dilated.

TO THE BACK: “Pretty Intense” gets a mention here. For the uninitiated, its Danica Patrick’s fitness book. While reviews are mixed, its done better than the fitness book of other drivers such as…oh, wait, there haven’t been any.

FINAL SCORE: 4 boogities out of 10

Jeff Gordon: Nascar Hall of Famer Retirements—Who Hung On Too Long?

Unlike other sports, Nascar can see drivers compete well into their 50’s. While this allows for some pretty cool stories and added fan memories, it also can lend itself to some drivers staying active well past their prime.

With Jimmie Johnson being just the latest driver to announce his retirement from Nascar (effective the end of the 2020 season), I wanted to take a look at drivers who voluntarily retired from the sport to see if they hung on too long or left at just the right time (or maybe even a little too soon). By “voluntary retirement” that means I’m not including anyone who was killed or seriously injured while driving.

Instead of looking at EVERY driver (even though interest in an analysis of Jimmy Hensley’s latter years could be quite high) I’m limiting it to Hall of Fame inductees—for now.

(Drivers listed in order of their Hall of Fame induction)

NOTE: Those inducted primarily or exclusively for achievements outside of driving (team ownership, crew chiefing, etc.) will not be considered. Cup performance is all that’s considered for this piece. Also, the more modern term “Cup Series” will be used instead of Grand National, Winston Cup, etc.

Jeff Gordon

DRIVING ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Four-time Cup Series champion. 93 Cup Series wins. Three-time Daytona 500 champion. Six-time Southern 500 winner. Five-time Brickyard 400 winner. Second (and last) winner of the Winston Million. Widely considered the driver who brought Nascar into worldwide prominence.

LAST HURRAH: In his planned final year of racing Gordon scored an emotional final win at Martinsville in 2015, one that would put him in contention for the championship. While he wouldn’t win the whole thing, Gordon still finished the year third in points.

FINAL YEAR(S): After Dale Earnhardt Jr. was sidelined by concussion issues, Gordon split the rest of the 2016 season with Alex Bowman as a substitute, posting top-tens in his final two starts. Gordon hasn’t raced since, instead focusing on his broadcasting career, business interests, and his young family.

DID HE HANG ON TOO LONG?: No. While it would’ve been a Hollywood ending if Gordon had rode off into the sunset after his 2015 late season surge, Gordon’s loyalty to Rick Hendrick saw him return for eight races as a substitute. And while he didn’t win, his results weren’t terrible, either.

The New Driver of the 42: The Candidates

As you’ve no doubt heard, Kyle Larson talked his way out of a ride earlier this week, being released from Chip Ganassi Racing. While Nascar (and the entire sports world) has ground to a halt due to COVID-19, once the sport DOES restart, who will be driving the 42 Chevy? Let’s see who it could be:

ROSS CHASTAIN Pros: Already has a contract with Ganassi. Has shown he can compete in top-flight equipment. The cross-promotional opportunities with Gallagher just write themselves. Cons: Could still have contractual obligations to the 77 team. Might look bad to be “stealing back” Ryan Newman’s substitute driver. The last thing we want is to hear his story hammered into our heads even MORE (hE’s A fArMeR). ODDS—3:1

Only known photo of Lyle Karson

JAMIE MCMURRAY Pros: Has familiarity with the Ganassi team. Seems to be well-liked by the current sponsors. Hair is ALWAYS on-point. Cons: Wasn’t exactly lighting the Nascar world on fire in his last years. Would be a short-term replacement and nothing more. Works for Fox, and there’s no way they’d allow such a blatant display of conflict of interest. ODDS—4:1

RANDOM SUBSTITUTE DRIVER #387 Pros: Would come cheap. Likely would go out of the way to avoid “rocking the boat”. Variety is the spice of life (Casey Mears? Regan Smith? Who knows!). Cons: Could wind up being Sam Hornish. Virtually every available substitute has already raced for Ganassi at some point. Could wind up being David Stremme. ODDS—25:1

LYLE KARSON Pros: Loads of potential. Excellent car control when racing the high side. Eager to work. Cons: No idea where he came form. Accent seems really fake. Mustache keeps falling off. ODDS—100:1

2020 Donruss Panini Nascar Cards Unboxing PACK 3

PACK 3—DJ’s Fur, Rainbow Blur, and a Signature

Plenty of talent in this pack (…and Ty Dillon) from a Hall of Famer to two multiple-time champions. Dale Jarrett’s glorious mustache is in full view, while Ryan Blaney is, for some reason, doing the “Nervous Collar Tug” thing from The Simpsons.

FIRST THING’S FIRST: A much happier-poking Kyle Busch gets another Race Kings treatment. The turquoise really pops on this one—I think it was to advertise hazelnut M&Ms or white chocolate peanut or cinnamon or radioactive or something.

SECOND LOOK: Again, its worth pointing out that the silver-foil cards do not, in actually, have rainbow colors on them. After all, if I was to assign a color scheme to Tony Stewart it would be smokey gray and Home Depot orange, not Roy G. Biv.

TO THE BACK: Its our first autograph! Kurt Busch’s John Hancock is on full display here. The back of the card shows how this is one of only 99 autographed cards (at least of this variety), which likely meant plenty of cramped hands in the garage that day.

FINAL SCORE: 8 crew members out of 10.

BREAKING NEWS: Kyle Larson Announces Immediate Retirement

In a hastily-arranged press conference from his North Carolina home, Kyle Larson announced this morning that, effective immediately, he is retiring from all forms of racing.

“I was just sitting alone in my basement last night, unable to sleep, wondering about what the future would hold”, a sleep-deprived Larson said in the webcast. “And I realized that I’ve really accomplished everything I wanted to in my career—in Nascar, in sprint cars, and even in iRacing. Therefore, I would like to say that I am leaving the racing world for good as of today.”

Larson stated that his decision was based on a number of factors.

“Well, I want to spend more time with my family”, Larson said. “And, uh, that’s not enough? Well, there’s, uh, safety concerns, and not wanting to ruin my legacy…team changes…sponsorship…uh, did I mention spending more time with my family?”

Larson’s impromptu retirement joins such drivers as Jimmie Johnson, Paul Menard, and David Ragan as Nascar Cup drivers who have retired or are retiring in the recent or coming months.

“I imagine that this will be big news. Really big news. The kind of news that will sweep any other news about me off the map, making my retirement the only thing people read about me all day”, Larson said with increasing urgency. “Really, there’s no need to search any further for any other news about me, Kyle Larson, OK? I’m retiring, that’s it.”

When Spade Racing reached out for comment to Larson, asking if his retirement had anything to do with his comments last night on an iRacing stream, Larson refused to respond.

Benny Parsons: Nascar Hall of Famer Retirements—Who Hung On Too Long?

Instead of looking at EVERY driver (even though interest in an analysis of Robert Pressley’s latter years could be quite high) I’m limiting it to Hall of Fame inductees—for now.

(Drivers listed in order of their Hall of Fame induction)

Benny Parsons

DRIVING ACCOMPLISHMENTS: 1973 Cup Series champion. 21 Cup Series wins. 1975 Daytona 500 champion.

LAST HURRAH: After several years running a partial schedule for Johnny Hayes and the Jackson Brothers, Parsons signed to drive for Hendrick Motorsports in 1987 as, essentially, a full-season substitute for the ailing Tim Richmond. Although plagued by poor finishes Parsons would notch several top-fives, including three runner-ups, to wind up 16th in points.

FINAL YEAR(S): Parsons moved on to Junie Donlavey’s 90 car for 1988. The steep drop in equipment was reflected in his on-track performance as “BP” failed to notch any top-fives and posted a single top-ten. He would retire from driving at the end of the year to embark on his broadcasting career.

DID HE HANG ON TOO LONG?: Probably not. While his final year was less than impressive, Parsons got what he could out of an underfunded independent team.

Timmy Hill: A Weeklong Celebration

Timmy Hill managed to pull off a feel-good win on Sunday, winning the iRacing All-Star event “at” Texas Motor Speedway. What followed was a week full of attention and plaudits the likes of which the Port Tobacco, Maryland native had never seen. Here’s a look at how the longtime independent racer spent the past week:

SUNDAY NIGHT: Celebratory dinner at his house. Due to the COVID-19 outbreak nobody besides his wife was able to attend, but plenty of drivers let him know via text message that if it wasn’t for the pandemic, they’d TOTALLY be there.

MONDAY MORNING: Interview with Sirius/XM Radio. Strangely, this wasn’t with the Nascar station, but with “50’s on 5” and they only wanted to know his thoughts on the early work of Carl Perkins.

MONDAY AFTERNOON: Weekly team meeting with MBM management team. Forced to meet over Zoom, the group is still able to spend the hour the way they always do—asking crew chief Steven Idol if he’s related to Billy in any way.

TUESDAY MORNING: Drive up to hometown of Port Tobacco, Maryland. In order to be able to cross state lines, he transports essential goods in his car—namely his own giant eyebrows.

TUESDAY AFTERNOON: Parade through downtown Port Tobacco, Maryland in his honor. With the town only having a population of thirteen people, its easy to adhere to “social distancing” regulations. Also the parade is only three “floats” long—a lead car, Timmy in a convertible, and a guy who once met Art Donovan sitting in the bed of a pickup truck.

TUESDAY NIGHT: Drive back to North Carolina. Eyebrows are tested for possible contamination upon crossing state lines.

WEDNESDAY MORNING: Virtual sponsor meet-and-greet with Manscaped. People checking in keep asking him what podcast he hosts.

WEDNESDAY EVENING/NIGHT: Text message debate with William Byron. Timmy correctly points out how easy it is to get real-life retribution when you’re constantly being lapped.

THURSDAY (all day): Day off. Timmy spends his downtime like most of us during the Coronavirus outbreak—disinfecting the whole house, rearranging the whole house, then disinfecting the whole house again, followed by three hours of trying to figure out what to have for dinner before deciding on frozen pizza for the fifth night in a row.

FRIDAY MORNING: Brother Tyler Hill comes over to help calibrate his iRacing setup, but Timmy makes him wait six hours in the garage to “quarantine”. Tyler is there for five and a half hours before he realizes its a joke.

FRIDAY EVENING: Puts together a title sponsorship for this weekend’s race. Its a last-minute deal, but its quite a feather in your cap having FOR SALE: 2014 HONDA CIVIC 4-DR 80k MILES RUNS GOOD on your hood.

2020 Donruss Panini Nascar Cards Unboxing PACK 2

PACK 2—Ouch, Roush, and Kraus

So we’re just two packs in and we already have our first repeat offender with the Brad Keselowski throwback scheme. Just look at Justin Allgaier—he’s wondering what’s up too. We also get the awkward pairing of Chris Buescher and Ricky Stenhouse Jr., two guys who swapped rides in the 2019-20 offseason. Kind of like when you get promoted and wind up training the guy who trained YOU in your entry-level position.

FIRST THING’S FIRST: This is the first of quite a few Jimmie Johnson cards in this set, shown here sans-beard. It WOULD be a big deal to get the cards from his final season, except for the fact that Donruss/Panini makes cards for drivers who’ve been retired for years (I’m looking at YOU, Danica).

SECOND LOOK: Kyle Busch’s Race Kings card is a good chance to look at the Optic parallel series. Basically its a card with heavier gloss and, usually, a reflective/holographic finish. Only downside is that they don’t photograph well, although I can assure you that Kyle’s expression really IS that pissy on the card.

TO THE BACK: ERROR ALERT!!! Derek’s last name is spelled two different ways on the back of this card (Kraus & “Krause”). Not very rated, Donruss, and you guys are FAR from rookies.

FINAL SCORE: 3 loose lug nuts out of 10.

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