Spade Racing was able to obtain an exclusive interview with one of Nascar’s biggest enemies this year, reaching Mother Nature at her home palace in the sky above the earth. In her brief on-the-record statements, she affirmed that she simply doesn’t really like stock car racing.
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| Mother Nature (file photo) |
“I’ve never been a big Nascar fan”, Mother Nature told us this afternoon. “As the sole controller of weather on planet Earth, I let my disdain be known from time-to-time, but I’m really showing it this year.”
When asked why Mother Nature had expressed her anger towards Nascar so far this spring, she offered to elaborate:
“Well, its not one thing, but its a bunch of things. As you might guess, I’m a bit of an environmentalist, and Nascar’s never been the greenest sport. But at least before they didn’t try to hide their disregard for me, but now they’re shoving those Nascar Green commercials down our throats—come on, Nascar, we know you don’t really care.
“And another thing—Dale (Earnhardt) Jr. was my favorite driver”, Mother Nature explained, “he seemed like a pretty nice guy, so when I would catch a race every once in a while—my husband Father Time is a big racing buff—I usually cheered for him. But with Junior gone, what’s the point?”
Mother Nature also appeared to have little respect for Nascar’s recent attempts at trying to outsmart her.
“Moving up races’ start times, huh?”, Mother Nature said, glaring at us as her voice rose. “Well, I’ll just move up the precipitation numbers on you. I can make it snow in the springtime in Virginia, and that was on a day when I was in a GOOD mood. And by the way, feel free to let Darrell Waltrip know that that stupid Vortex (theory) thing doesn’t work at all.”
We were then shown the door and told not to return, as Mother Nature was preparing to put water in every race fan’s fuel lines on Monday morning.