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| An anonymous Start-and- Parker takes revenge on their biggest enemy |
Fans new to the sport might not know what a "Start-and-Park" team is. Well, it's a team that purposefully pulls its car out of the race early-on to conserve tires, engines, etc., because the difference in prize money between last place and, say, 25th place is too small. Teams that do this still have to give the Nascar officials a "real" reason why the car had to be parked. Here's a quick rundown of the most-common reasons given, and what they mean:
Vibration--the car chief's nephew shook up all the cans of Diet Dr Thunder in the truck, and now we need to pay for a car-seat shampooing.
Handling--sexual harassment lawsuit (turns out that not every receptionist lets you play "hands at ten and two" with her).
Transmission--"cutting back" on the budget meant eliminating flu shots, now everyone needs generic-brand tussin.
Ignition--at least Dale Jr. was nice enough to agree to not press charges, as long as we fix the damage we did to his camper when we tried to hot-wire it.
Rear-end--turns out that trying the 500-alarm chili on a dare for $10 was NOT a good business idea.
Electrical--guys who make those Amish wood-burning stoves stiffed us on the sponsorship checks again.
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| "Quit laughing, guys, I'm serious!" |
Overheating--Jimmy Spencer visited the shop last we--oh, sorry, that's "Overeating".
Suspension--When you ask Brian France, "How many chins do you have?", the answer is usually "$10,000 fine and indefinite probation".
Brakes--Foot to the floor, foot went THROUGH the floor, and we didn't appreciate your Flintstones jokes.
Engine--Wrong foot to the floor.
Too slow--"I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is. Specifically, its trying to hold on to the bottom rung of a sport that's long since forgotten you."
Crash--driver to be fired on Monday.