Denny Hamlin cheats death every week, driving his stock car at speeds up to 200mph with 41 other competitors (and Josh Wise). But he may have taken his life in his hands by openly criticizing commentator Kyle Petty, honorary member of the vaunted pro-wrestling organization the New World Order (nWo).
"We're going to be beefing up security around the shop for the next few weeks", Joe Gibbs Racing team manager J.D. Gibbs said after today's race. "We encourage our drivers to stand up for their beliefs and reputations, but we don't want any trouble from the nWo. NOBODY does."
Hamlin, who wrecked out early in to--------
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| "We're bankrolled by Felix Sabates!" |
--The following, is a paid announcement, from the New World Order--
"You know something brother, this is Hollywood Hulk Hogan common' at ya, brother, and let me tell ya something Hamlin--when you mess with Kyle Petty, you mess with all of us! When we took Kyle Petty on as a member in 1996, we always knew it was more than just sponsoring him for Dan Shaver Racing. Because when you're nWo, you're nWo for life, brother!"
--The preceding announcement, was paid for by the New World Order--
-------------edlock. Hamlin, however, plans to stand up to the menacing group of pro-wrestlers whenever (or wherever) they attack.
"I knew that when I criticized Kyle Petty, I would have trouble on my hands", Hamlin said while clutching his lower back. "But don't worry about me--I plan on having Sting at my side all week. People said he was the nWo's biggest enemy. Plus, he has lots of great stories about 'The Police'".