Continuing a streak that has gone on since the finish of last season, the Evil 200th Win Hat has struck again, preventing Dale Earnhardt Jr. from winning at Richmond.
"Well, I thought I had a shot at Kyle (Busch), then I went to hit the brakes and the pedal went through the dang floor", a dejected Dale Jr. said after the race. "I radioed in to Stevie (LeTarte, crew chief and motivational speaker) and he told me that the Hat had struck again."
Hendrick team officials explained again that they cannot simply get rid of the cursed hat, saying that they would have to burn all 500 hats in their traveling inventory to eliminate the demons.
"Its not ALL the hats, just one", said Hendrick PR director John Ringo. "We've tried to figure out which one is the bad one, but they all look alike. Besides, we don't believe in curses, only in evil spirits."
The Evil Hat also struck Hendrick-affiliated drivers, taking away a possible win for Tony Stewart with a late caution.
"I was running away with the win, but then a caution came out for a plastic bottle on the backstretch", Stewart said in between bites. "I mean, the worst part was that the Hat gave us a leg-up early with that penalty on the 99, but I guess that was just to get our hopes up. Oh well--the Hat giveth and the Hat taketh away."
Hendrick executives are considering bringing in a witch doctor to exercise the hats, after an attempt at sprinkling them with holy water after Bristol made no difference.
"We've just gotta do something here", said team owner Rick Hendrick. "The Evil Hat even messed up my phone--I can't even call the manufacturer, KyBuschCo."