“We’ve had a lot of success lately paying tribute to the current and most-recent generations”, Harvick said while combing a newly-grown handlebar mustache. “But at Darlington we’ll take a look back at the fourth- or fifth-greatest generation this nation has ever seen, the one that came of age when the Brooklyn Bridge and Statue of Liberty were just new ideas.”
The spanking vintage scheme |
Harvick made the announcement next to a version of his number 4 Busch Beer car, covered in 1880’s slang as the two previous “generational tribute” cars had done before.
“We hope to avoid getting ‘in the soup’ at Darlington—we’ll have to ‘scrooch’ the car through turn one, but this is a real ‘corker’ of a car we got here.”, Harvick said. “I’m just glad its not an actual car from the 19th-century, as cranking the engine after every pit stop would get pretty tiring for our pit crew.”
Harvick refused to comment on the rumor that he agreed to the promotion because he thought that it would be a tribute to Garfield the Cat, not James A. Garfield, the president gunned down early into his first and only term in 1881.
“I’m just glad that we’re out there doing something other teams aren’t doing”, Harvick instead responded. “It was either this or the same damn scheme we run here every year with a slight difference to it.”