Upon finishing her 191st and final Nascar start in today’s Daytona 500, the soon-to-be-retired Danica Patrick dedicated the race especially to her creepiest male fans.
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| courtesy Sports Illustrated |
“I’d just like to dedicate this race to all the men who’ve followed me far too closely throughout my racing career”, Patrick said upon exiting her stock car for the final time. “From when I started way back in IndyCar and had grown males holding up poster-board signs for me, to the guys who still want me to autograph my cheesecake shots from Maxim, they’ve really made things memorable for me.”
An emotional Patrick went on to thank several specific groups of fans who’ve forced her to hire personal security throughout her career.
“There’s the guys who sent shredded t-shirts to me after I went public with my relationship with Ricky (Stenhouse Jr., her ex-boyfriend), Danica said, becoming visibly wistful. “There’s all those lengthy letters I get from prisons around the country. And there’s that one guy out west who constantly bids on my firesuits when they come up for sale—hearing that he wants “only the sweatiest stuff” really meant a lot to me.”
Patrick endured criticism for her lack of success throughout her Nascar career, however she said that the support of her fans—and her creepiest male fans in particular—made it all worthwhile.
“Knowing that if someone yelled out ‘Danica sucks!’ in the crowd, that a guy in one of my t-shirts would make a frightening comment about ‘having a future with me’, meant that the strangest of the bunch always had my back”, Patrick said. “I wanted to personally thank all of you for sending all those emails to GoDaddy wanting “really uncensored versions” of all my commercials. It just won’t be the same without you.”
Patrick will finish up her racing career at the Indianapolis 500, where she’s expected to be heavily booed by IndyCar’s hardcore fans—all four of them.