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| Suggested Logo |
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| "Filmed on location with John Wes Townley and Michael Annett" |
--The event is being hosted by Jeff Gordon and Danica Patrick, thus uniting the driver fans hated in the 90's with the driver fans hate now.
--It's a one-hour event airing at 8pm on Fox, thus depriving us of what Florida is REALLY best-known for: Great episodes of "COPS".
--A few other drivers (Jimmie Johnson, Dale Jr., Tony Stewart, Clint Bowyer) will be there, probably leading to some clunky attempts to be funny in pre-recorded "comedy" bits.
--As far as Dale Jr. goes, don't bump into him--if you do, he might knock you down, then apologize to the media a few minutes later.
--Cee Lo Green is the "musical headliner", which would seem to indicate that there's other bands performing. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that the other bands are probably 3 Doors Down, Sheryl Crow, and/or Kid Rock (with or without a few members of Lynard Skynard).
Now, for those of you who are as white-trash as I am, you probably recognize the name "Bash at the Beach" as one of the biggest pay-per-view events held by World Championship Wrestling. Ironically, the biggest of these shows was, in fact, held at Daytona Beach, where the concept of the New World Order (no, not the stupid conspiracy theory) was unveiled. With that in mind, here's my own interpretation: The OWO, the Open Wheel Order:
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| This makes BK Racing the J.O.B. Squad |
"Da Blonde Guy" Kasey Kahne--addicted (to making crappy commercials)
"Big Sexy" Tony Stewart--big guy, always hurt
"Hollywood" Jeff Gordon--the star, formerly an irritatingly pure "good guy"
"Trillionaire" Roger Penske--brings the money
"The Giant" Danica Patrick--nobody really knows why (s)he's there
A.J. Allmen"Dyngyrr"--not as successful, possible drug problems
Brian Bischoff--leader of the group, seems to have no idea what he's doing