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| "Marge, you know who I'm talking about--he used to drive that blue car" |
Its that time of year again, when we take some time to celebrate the birthday of that long-haired individualist, the son of the King, who changed the world for ever. But in addition to honoring Kyle Petty, its also Christmas time. We all know that Santa Claus delivers gifts to all the good girls and boys (well, the ones whose parents have money) every Christmas Eve--but is Santa a Nascar fan?
Well, I'm here to say YES, he is!
Just look at the evidence uncovered during a recent in-depth investigation (and by "in-depth", I mean stuff I found on Google)
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| Santa fulfills MY X-mas wish by blowing up Michael Waltrip Racing |
--Go to any Nascar race, and you'll find at least one guy with a huge white beard and a pot belly. Chances are that its either Santa himself, one of his helpers, or your middle-school shop class teacher.
--Santa's distinctive facial hair is actually a tribute to legendary broadcaster/ranter Dave Despain.
--Santa has 8 (or 9) reindeer, having maintained one of the longest-lasting multi-racer teams in motorsports this side of J.D. Stacy. And just like J.D., he doesn't pay his racers either.
--The REAL reason Santa wears red and white is because he got stuck with just as much Dale Jr. Budweiser merchandise as the rest of us.
So there you have it, irrefutable proof that Santa is a Nascar fan. Be sure to check back in next year for my investigation into Satan being an IndyCar fanatic.