Nascar Re-Names Homestead-Miami Cup Race “Game 7”

As the latest change to Nascar’s ever-evolving Playoff (formerly Chase) format, the organization has announced that the season finale at Homestead-Miami Speedway has officially been renamed from the Ford EcoBoost 400 to simply Game 7.
“We’re proud of all our corporate partners, from Toyota to Ford to Toyota”, said Nascar chairman Brian France, “but we really feel that by renaming the race to Game 7, we’re communicating to the public just how much of a ‘Game 7’ experience it will be.”
The move is just the latest change in an attempt to bring a so-called “Game 7” feel to the final race of the season, in which four eligible drivers will have equal chances to both win the race AND the season-long championship…for some reason.
“No race is more important than any other”, France explained, “but Game 7 is roughly seven-times more important than any other race.  And the nine other playoff races are also more important than any other races, except for the 600 which is worth roughly 33 percent more than other regular season races due to it having a fourth stage.  What I’m trying to say is, simplicity is the key.”
Several other names were rumored to be part of the change, with preliminary logos for an “Avco Cup 400” race and “The Million Dollar Game 400” floating around online.
“People may wonder where games one through six went”, France said, “well, that’s our whole rest of the season.  Other sports only have game sevens once in a while—well, we’re having ours every single year.  Because nothing makes something more special than doing it year after year—just like night racing.”
The move is believed to be the final of many changes that have happened to Nascar in this year, with any further changes focusing on the forthcoming 2018 season, including a reported radical change to the All-Star Race format that would see the unprecedented removal of all stages from the race.

Denny Hamlin Earns Tryouts with NFL Teams as Punter


Mere moments after today’s First Data 500 concluded in Martinsville, driver Denny Hamlin found a number of job offers coming in from a unique group—NFL teams searching for new punters.
“I know that the NFL focuses on every phase of the game, and the focus on Special Teams is bigger than ever”, Hamlin said upon exiting hims car.  “But I guess they’ve seen what I can do on the track and want to see it translate over to the football world.
“I’ve never thought of myself as much of a punter”, Hamlin explained, “but after today, I guess people have seen what I can do.”
Hamlin has received varying degrees of interest from almost every NFL team, save for the Atlanta Falcons.  He’s also reportedly been contacted by several new possible sponsors, including varying plowing services and bumper car providers.
“I might just have a second career after today”, Hamlin said.  “Heck, even Chase Elliott wanted to tell me about how great I am at punting.  Nascar will always be my top focus, but as my mentor Michael Jordan has shown me, you can pursue two sports in your career.  And always focus on winning to the exclusion of everything else.”

For his part, Chase Elliott was heard complaining that Hamlin had ruined his chance to finish runner-up again.

Uncle Max: Martinsville Weekend Picks



Weekly picks from Spade Racing’s writer/webmaster/janitor Mike Mackler’s uncle.

Editor’s Note: Uncle Max came back from vacation early this morning, then apparently drove directly to work to deal with an emergency.  He texted me his picks a few minutes ago.

Anyways, here’s my picks for the upcoming race weekend at Martinsville (total wins in parenthesis):

Texas Roadhouse 200 (5 wins)—Christopher Bell—the leader of the crowded future of JGR keeps on rolling.

Cup Series First Data 500:  FAVORITE (5 wins)—Denny Hamlin—just too hard to pick against the hometown master.  NEXT FAVORITE (2 wins)—Martin Truex Jr.—just too hard to pick against the 2017 season-long master.  DARK HORSE*—Joey Logano—just too easy to go and pick Reed Sorenson.

*—NOTE—during the Cup Playoffs, a Dark Horse must be a driver who is out of championship contention.