Latest and Greatest

Here's hoping one of the Chevy truck teams manages to run this paint scheme Friday night.

Smart-alek in a Candy Store

Any chance to bring up the worst-named candy bar of all time is a good chance

Halloween is fast-approaching, which means two things:  1.) ESPN is officially switching over to ESPNBA, and 2.) lots of candy for the kids.  Here's a handy Nascar conversion chart:

King-Size Reese's Peanut Butter Cups: Joey Logano--because huge name-brand candy is about as rare as a driver actually dominating in the regular season AND the Chase.

Big "mystery bag": Kevin Harvick--could be a bunch of fun-size Snickers, could be expired jelly beans, could be those plastic spider-ring things nobody wants--just as much variety as a 2014 Kevin Harvick race.

Sugar Daddy: Brad Keselowski--tastes great, one less filling once you bite into it.  And now, I don't mean "Sugar Daddy" like in a relationship, since that would OBVIOUSLY be Ray Evernham.

No one has ever eaten one of these
things a second time

Unknown brand of chocolate: Ryan Newman--no one knows how it got there, no one knows why it's still there, and no one knows what will happen once it's unwrapped.

Butterfinger Christmas Tree: Dale Jr.--you know you want it, even though it's at a bit of an inopportune time.

Toothpaste, religious literature, or anything that ISN'T candy: Josh Wise--specifically Josh Wise in a non-Dogecoin car.

That giant orange marshmallow peanut: Clint Bowyer--just as stale as his career.

Candy corn: BK Racing Drivers--below-average quality and likely received for free.

Unwrapped Twix: Milka Duno--so enticing, but beware: You may get wrecked.

Candy/Caramel Apple: Matt Kenseth--something sweet (JGR power) around something dull (Kenseth).

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Beats Kyle Fowler for Win

This may or may not be
Kyle Fowler

Despite missing the Chase, Dale Earnhardt Jr. was able to pull out a positive today at Martinsville, beating Kyle Fowler for a hard-earned win.

"This was a big win for me, my crew, and the whole Hendrick team.  I was just so lucky to be able to beat that 32 car of Kyle Fowler today", Dale Junior said upon exiting his car.  "We've been wanting to win that big Grandfather Clock for a long time, and to be able to win the battle over Kyle Fowler, man, that just says a lot."

"I don't really know why he (Fowler) was gunning for us all day", Dale Jr. said post-race.  "I noticed he had that Corvette Parts thing on his hood, maybe he had a problem with Kerry (Earnhardt), or maybe he just hates beards.  I dunno, but I know that I'll have someone new to battle every week as I put him eight laps down."

Fowler did not make himself available for post-race interviews, although technically he could have and no media members recognized him.  Furthermore, most of the assembled media were still trying to figure out how Ryan Newman was second in points.

"Anytime you win a race, it's tough, but winning here, at this old, historic track--over someone nobody had ever heard of--really makes it special.  We are gonna DRINK…a lotta beer tonight so we can try to forget that a car owned by Frankie Stoddard nearly knocked us out of the race."