"'Hire Brett Bodine' they said. 'He'll be great' they said."
As a semi-Jewish Nascar fan, of which there are seven of us, I'm proud to be celebrating Hanukkah, aka That Holiday Around Christmas With The Candle-Things. Here's a quick explanation for those unfamiliar with the Festival of Lights:
--The holiday itself commemorates when the Maccabi's survived a siege, were left with only a day's worth of oil, but were able to stretch the oil out for eight days. No word on if they made it work by throwing the Menorah into neutral in the turns or by drafting other tribes.
--Notorious hyper-miler Brad Keselowski would make a great Hanukkah spokesman, but I heard he would have forced a name change to "The Festival of Lites".
--Jewish children traditionally receive "Gelt"--chocolate wrapped in gold foil--for Hanukkah. If you've never had Gelt, its the world's worst chocolate--even worse than the Big 'Mo candy bar.
--Another custom closely associated with Hanukkah is the Dreidel, a four-sided spinning top used to play a game of chance. I think this is how Front Row Motorsports decides what sponsor will be on the hood of the 38 car (A&W, Long John Silver's, TMone, or Gimmel?)
--Hanukkah goes on for eight nights, which means its STILL shorter than the qualifying process for the Daytona 500.
--Hanukkah is a time you are likely to see the international symbol for Judaism, The Star of David Ragan.
--When lighting the menorah, all men must be wearing head-coverings called Yarmulkes, which is the only word more-difficult to spell than Villeneuve.
--And always remember--we know the story of Hanukkah to be true because Mark Martin was there.