Unboxing and Unwrapping: Parts 13 & 14

13. More Proof, a TV goof, and Kyle’s doof

OVERVIEW:  Things stay mostly in the here and now as we get a good mixture of up-and-comers, current stars (punctuated by a smiley Kyle Busch), and recent retirees.  Alex Bowman appears in Press Proof form, which is to say shinier than in his other cards.  Also note the lack of a horizontal “car card” in this pack.

BACK OF THE CARD BONUS:  In the future its probably best not to associate as “race king” with NEARLY winning a pole at Atlanta.

PICK OF THE PACK:  Michael Waltrip appears in a card celebrating his final Cup Series race.  Say, do you think he had to request to have “2-Time Daytona 500 Champion” embroidered on his firesuit, or did Simpson just do it automatically?

FINAL RATING:  3 roll bars out of 10

14. Larson, Dale’s son, and a Young Gun

OVERVIEW:  This is an…odd selection.  While its nice to have the reigning Cup champion at the center of it all, the rest are a grab bag of random drivers (less Kyle Larson).  Cole Custer gets the “Rated Rookie” treatment, and Kenny Wallace appears to be wearing a bootleg Nascar hat.

BACK OF THE CARD BONUS:  A surprising miss by Donruss/Panini on the Dale Jr. card, referencing his seventh place starting and finishing position at Dover.  The place has a casino, guys—7!  Casino!  Lucky!

PICK OF THE PACK:  Hey, photographers—when your subject is developing “landing strips” in his scalp, do NOT take his picture to emphasize the fact that he’s starting to lose his hair.  I speak from experience on this one.

FINAL RATING:  1 playoff race out of 10

Charlotte Roval Drinking Game

Good news!...well, for me at least—I’m attending Sunday’s Roval race at Charlotte Motor Speedway!  Unfortunately that means no post race “Burnout” article this week, but instead, please enjoy this Roval race drinking game (responsibly)...

SIP:

—whenever a car goes off course

—anytime an announcer raises his voice

—any utterance of the word “first” in reference to the race

—mentions of this being a “must-win race” for Denny Hamlin

DRINK:

—any contact/wreck-instigated caution flag

—references to Daniel Suarez or AJ Allmendinger being a “potential spoiler”

—any slow motion shots of a car catching air over a curb

—when Rick Allen alludes to Dale Jr’s less-than-stellar record on road courses

GULP:

—when Steve Letarte mentions “running the race backwards” in reference to pit strategy

—talking about how Jimmie Johnson “used to own this place”

—if Rutledge Wood shows up on Big Hoss (either a camera shot or literally sitting on the top)

—any stretch of green flag pit stops where nobody has a penalty

FINISH THE GLASS/BOTTLE/CAN:

—any references to this being Justin Marks’ final Cup race

—any Chevy besides Kyle Larson or Chase Elliott finishes in the top three

—a post-race scuffle

—“Through the Field” makes it back to Timmy Hill

—you see me on TV

BREAK IT OVER YOUR HEAD

—you see me getting arrested on TV

Nascar Pick Challenge: Uncle Max vs. Mystery Picker—Charlotte Roval

It was a pretty rough go for ol’ Uncle Max last weekend in Nascar, but I’m rolling in fantasy football!  I have 3-0 records in both of my leagues (one for people at work, one for my long-time fantasy football buddies), both of which I myself run.  I have quite a few championships to my name, but I’ve never won two in the same year—here’s hoping things change in 2018!

Meanwhile, my nephew Mike has told me he’ll be away for this weekend attending the Cup race in person.  I’ve never been to a race myself, but I’d love to next year (I doubt it’ll happen this year due to my work schedule).  If I can swing it in 2019, what track should I go to?

Xfinity Series Drive for the Cure 200 (5 wins)—Justin Allgaier: Sneaky-good on the road courses.

Cup Series Bank of America Roval 400—MYSTERY PICKER (4 wins) PICKS Martin Truex Jr.  Favorite (4 wins): Kyle Busch—nothing like a run by Brad K to get Rowdy’s competitive juices flowing.  Next Favorite (5 wins): Kevin Harvick—and watch for NBC to hype about all the “pressure” he’s under.  Dark Horse: AJ Allmendinger—why not?