This is a parody
Nascar has acknowledged that a current engineer for Joe Gibbs Racing allegedly passed information along to another non-playoff team. Here’s what information was allegedly shared:
—the letter/number code combination that gets you free Fritos out of the JGR break room vending machine.
—meditation exercises that allowed Joe Gibbs to humor Daniel Snyder for years.
—a map of all 42 tracks Martin Truex Jr. considers to be “home tracks”.
—location of the key that allows entrance into the secret vault where they store Dale Jarrett’s original mustache.
—map leading to the burial ground in Huntersville where they dumped the remaining shards of Kyle Busch’s guitar trophy.
—details of the contract they signed with Yahoo, revealing that a majority of it was simply reassuring JGR that Yahoo still exists.
—blueprints for a prototype stopwatch to finally prevent Denny Hamlin from speeding on pit road.
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A MOXOC Media production