Wednesday, March 29, 2017

NascarMania: The Great GrandUncle of Them All

It's almost April, which means it's time for that annual rite of spring--annoying wrestling fans whining about WrestleMania. But why let them have all the "fun"?  Here's the full rundown of Nascar's showcase of the immortals:

Pre-Show (on The Nascar Network, the other OTHER TNN)
Ray Dunlap Memorial Battle Royal--the stars of the Truck Series scramble to win an over-the-top-rope battle royal, with the winner getting a featurette on the next FS1 pre-race show

Bubba Wallace vs. Ryan Reed--winner leaves Roush match (yeah, sorry if I've made the joke before)

Main Show
Austin Dillon vs. Coke Custer--cars-as-weapons allowed match 

ROTY Title Match: Daniel Suarez vs. Erik Jones vs. Ty Dillon triple threat

Canadian Title Match: DJ Kennington vs. Cameron Hayley (Canadian Rules--bring your Eh game)

Retirement Match: Carl Edwards vs. Tony Stewart--winner won't be asked about a comeback for a full year!

Tag Team Title Match: The Old Guard (Jimmie Johnson and Matt Kenseth) vs. The New Blood (Kyle Larson and Chase Elliott)

Brad Keselowski vs. all comers in a Grudge Gauntlet Match

MAIN EVENT Nascar Championship Match: Kyle Busch vs. Joey Logano in a First Blood Match