Sunday, March 12, 2017

Kyle Busch Fined $5,000 for Blading on Live TV


Nascar reacted swiftly to the controversy post-race today, fining Kyle Busch $5,000 for intentionally “blading” on live tv.
Cruise Control can’t save him now”, said Nascar President Mike “Jack Tunney” Helton.  “Kyle dove into the 22 crew then was clearly seen mashing his wrist into his forehead.  Its obvious that he was hiding an exacto blade there, and he drew blood on himself for effect.”
Fans have criticized Nascar for not allowing things such as blood, swearing, and nudity in the PG (Post-Gary Bradberry) Era, in which fines such as this one have become the norm.
“We’re all for the excitement of the track, the battles of the superstars, and more, but we draw the line at drawing the ‘crimson mask’”, Helton said.  “This isn’t the late-90’s anymore, and our drivers need to realize that.”

Fans seemed to enjoy the fracas (blood or not), feeling that it was high time that Joey Logano made a “face turn”.