Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Mark Martin: Nascar Hall of Famer Retirements—Who Hung On Too Long?


Unlike other sports, Nascar can see drivers compete well into their 50’s.  While this allows for some pretty cool stories and added fan memories, it also can lend itself to some drivers staying active well past their prime.
With Jimmie Johnson being just the latest driver to announce his retirement from Nascar (effective the end of the 2020 season), I wanted to take a look at drivers who voluntarily retired from the sport to see if they hung on too long or left at just the right time (or maybe even a little too soon).  By “voluntary retirement” that means I’m not including anyone who was killed or seriously injured while driving.
Instead of looking at EVERY driver (even though interest in an analysis of Steve Grissom’s latter years could be quite high) I’m limiting it to Hall of Fame inductees—for now.

(Drivers listed in order of their Hall of Fame induction)

NOTE: Those inducted primarily or exclusively for achievements outside of driving (team ownership, crew chiefing, etc.) will not be considered.  Cup performance is all that’s considered for this piece.  Also, the more modern term “Cup Series” will be used instead of Grand National, Winston Cup, etc.

Mark Martin

DRIVING ACCOMPLISHMENTS: “The greatest driver to never win a championship”.  40 Cup Series wins.  Two-time Southern 500 winner.

LAST HURRAH: After three years of steadily declining results at Hendrick Motorsports, Martin returned to a part-time schedule with Michael Waltrip Racing, splitting the 55 car between himself, Micahel Waltrip, and Brian Vickers.  Martin would post four top-five finishes in 2012, followed by a third-place finish in the 2013 Daytona 500.

FINAL YEAR(S): Martin wound up driving for three teams in 2013—MWR, a one-off substitution for Denny Hamlin at Joe Gibbs Racing, and finishing out the season with Stewart-Haas Racing filling-in for an injured Tony Stewart.  Despite missing eight races he still managed to finish 25th in the final season standings.  Martin has since remained retired.

DID HE HANG ON TOO LONG?: No.  Martin showed that with a renewed focus on a smaller number of races he was able to contend for wins and put up consistent results.



Sunday, March 29, 2020

Nascar Coronavirus/COVID-19—What Now? Questions and Answers


Usually by this time in the year we’re complaining about Fox’s Nascar coverage, whining about the season being too long, and wondering what JGR driver is going to run away with the regular season.  Instead, Nascar—and most of the world—has been stopped cold by the spread of the COVID-19 virus, aka the Coronavirus.  Nascar joined the sports world by indefinitely postponing all races through May 3rd.

But where does that leave Nascar going forward?

Let’s see what we can figure out:

DID NASCAR ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO CANCEL THE RACES—HOW ABOUT HOLDING THEM WITH NO FANS?  First of all, the races have not been “cancelled”—they’ve been postponed (at least for now).  And yes, there was virtually no way Nascar could have raced under the conditions we all now live with.  Even if they had TRIED to hold races without fans, there’s a small army needed to put on a race.  Think of all the pit crews, road crews (mechanics and support staff), Nascar officials, safety workers, TV and radio production staff, and the drivers themselves.  If one person gets sick they could possibly infect the entire garage—and that could very well lead to the actual cancellation of the entire season.

HOW CAN NASCAR WORK THE POSTPONED RACES INTO THE REMAINING SCHEDULE?  The way I see it, there’s three viable options for Nascar to approach—here they are in order of practicality:
Least Practical—Extend the season into the winter.  PROS—allows all races to have their own weekends.  Least impact on Xfinity and Truck Series races.  Best tv time windows.  CONS—weather issues for northern tracks.  Makes the season even longer than it already was.  Puts Nascar head-to-head with football.  Limits offseason time to work on the 2021 “Gen 7” car.
Ironically Nascar already had a
Doubleheader Cup Series race
weekend scheduled for Pocono
this year.
Moderately Practical—Make certain race weekends Doubleheaders.  PROS—would likely allow season to end in early-November as scheduled.  Would lower travel costs for teams by only going to tracks once this season.  Plenty of marketing opportunities with the “double or nothing” aspect.  CONS—extremely weather-sensitive—a rainy weekend could obliterate two Cup races.  Leaves little room for Xfinity and Truck Series races.  Could be limited TV windows with delayed NBA and NHL Playoffs and a condensed baseball season.  How would tracks like Homestead and Atlanta that only have one weekend a year be worked in?
Most Practical—Run mid-week races.  PROS—would likely allow season to end in early-November as scheduled.  Could allow Xfinity and Truck Series races to be run if “shuffled” right.  Easier to obtain TV windows in the mid-week.  Mid-week racing has been a rumored goal of Nascar for years.  CONS—limited TV audience away from weekends.  Travel schedules would have to be considered.  Harder to run mid-week (night) races as it gets colder.  Lower attendance likely on Wednesdays as approached to Sundays.  Logistics could prove to be impractical for big teams and impossible for small ones.

WHAT ELSE NEEDS TO BE DETERMINED BY NASCAR?  Well, will Nascar follow in Formula 1’s footsteps and delay the implementation of the “Gen 7” car regulations for 2021?  Also, what shape will a shortened season’s Playoff field take—more drivers, fewer races, or both?  Furthermore, how will teams adjust their budgets with, in theory, less sponsorship money coming in due to delayed or, possibly, cancelled races?  All this will have to be figured out.


IS NASCAR DOING ALL IT CAN?  At the moment, it appears so.  From closing the race shops to the public to putting on laid-back iRacing virtual races, Nascar is protecting its family while maintaining its spot in the public eye.  While NFL free agency has dominated the sports world for the past few weeks, one could argue that Nascar is a small, albeit not forgotten, part of the sports fabric during this unprecedented time.

Thursday, March 26, 2020

2020 Donruss Panini Nascar Cards Unboxing PACK 1



Continuing a tradition of limited esteem, Spade Racing bought, unboxed, and unpacked a sealed box of 2020 Donruss (Panini) Nascar trading cards.  Join us as we go through each eight-card pack to find the good, the bad, and the downright weird.

PACK 1—First Place with Chase and a King of the Race
The first pack is very Chase Elliott-heavy—understandable for the sport’s most-popular driver this side of Quin Houff.  Also included in this pic is one of the occasionally-inserted contest cards, with codes that can be entered to win prizes.  Last year I won a t-shirt, this year I have yet to win anything, but fingers crossed!  No, wait, that makes it too hard to type.

FIRST THING’S FIRST: Martin Truex Jr. gets the “fancy oil painting” treatment as part of the “Race Kings” series.  Its quite an honor for Truex, as most New Jerseyans only get their portraits done when the police are looking for them.

SECOND LOOK: Brad Keselowski’s awesome throwback looks, well, awesome in this limited-edition variant card.  Only downside is that there are many, many, MANY variants, limned-editions, parallels, and extra series.  Too much of a good thing, much like the Nascar schedule for the past 15 years.

TO THE BACK: Danica apparently didn’t care about green being an unlucky color in Nascar.  Then again she didn’t seem to care about succeeding in Nascar either.


FINAL SCORE: 5 Most Popular Driver Awards out of 10.

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Curtis Turner: Nascar Hall of Famer Retirements—Who Hung On Too Long?


Unlike other sports, Nascar can see drivers compete well into their 50’s.  While this allows for some pretty cool stories and added fan memories, it also can lend itself to some drivers staying active well past their prime.
With Jimmie Johnson being just the latest driver to announce his retirement from Nascar (effective the end of the 2020 season), I wanted to take a look at drivers who voluntarily retired from the sport to see if they hung on too long or left at just the right time (or maybe even a little too soon).  By “voluntary retirement” that means I’m not including anyone who was killed or seriously injured while driving.
Instead of looking at EVERY driver (even though interest in an analysis of David Ragan’s latter years could be quite high) I’m limiting it to Hall of Fame inductees—for now.

(Drivers listed in order of their Hall of Fame induction)

NOTE: Those inducted primarily or exclusively for achievements outside of driving (team ownership, crew chiefing, etc.) will not be considered.  Cup performance is all that’s considered for this piece.  Also, the more modern term “Cup Series” will be used instead of Grand National, Winston Cup, etc.

Curtis Turner

DRIVING ACCOMPLISHMENTS: “The Babe Ruth of Stock Car Racing”.  17 Cup Series wins.  1956 Southern 500 winner.  1950 Cup Series wins leader.  Only driver to win a race in which he was the last car running.

LAST HURRAH: After a four-year ban for trying to unionize Nascar, Turner was reinstated in 1965 with the hopes that his popularity would reinvigorate a sport hampered by deaths, early retirements, and manufacturer boycotts.  He would post a win in his first year back.  

FINAL YEAR(S): Turner would continue to race on a limited schedule through 1968, remaining competitive—four of his last five starts were top-ten finishes.  He would die in a plane crash shortly after leaving the sport.

DID HE HANG ON TOO LONG?: No.  Forced from the sport, he came back after losing several prime years and showed he could still run up front.

Sunday, March 22, 2020

Hornet High Class Racing Enters Car in eNascar iRacing Invitational Race


Marking their long-awaited return to the world of virtual racing, Hornet High Class Racing Team has chosen to enter their iconic 41 red and blue car in today’s Dixie Vodka 150 from the virtual Homestead-Miami Speedway.
“We did it before, and we can do it again”, a spokesman for the legendary team said in a statement released yesterday.  “Hornet High Class has always been on the vanguard of video game racing, and we we’re going to sit on the sidelines and let these upstarts steal our thunder.  With our partners at Gallop Racing, we’re going to show the world that our time isn’t over—we got a TIME EXTENSION.”
The team, based in Daytona USA, has said that they have performed extensive online testing, racing against 39 nearly-identical drone cars, most of which are significantly slower.  However, they did acknowledge the difficulties of racing on a brand-new virtual track.
“Normally, we only race at three different tracks, and usually its the one that’s like a hybrid between Daytona and Darlington”, the statement said, “but we’re giving it our best shot.  If we succeed this weekend, we might consider entering up to eight other cars in different colors—kind of like what J.D. Stacy used to do.”
The Hornet High Class team was mum on what driver they’d be using for the online race, but were willing to confirm other personnel decisions.
“Our crew chief will be our old reliable, someone willing to tell our driver how many laps there are to do and to ‘hang in there’.  Our spotter, meanwhile, will be that Japanese guy who sings ‘Daaaaytooooonnnaaaaaa!’ really loud.”
When reached for comment, Hornet High Class refused to confirm or deny that if you hit the right button when the giant slot machine is on all-sevens, that you get unlimited time.

Saturday, March 21, 2020

Spade Racing Update—No Nascar, No Picks, but No Breaks!


With Nascar having just announced that they’ve postponed another batch of races due to the Coronavirus/COVID-19 pandemic, I thought it would be a good time to give you an update on what’s going on here at Spade Racing:

No Uncle Max picks for the foreseeable future.  Uncle Max is doing fine—he still has to go to work (he’s in retail after all), but with nothing to predict he’s taking a brief vacation from prognosticating.  He will be back as soon as the season resumes.

Content continues.  Sure there’s nothing going on NOW, but with 70+ years of Nascar history there’s still lots to look forward to here at Spade Racing.  Who Hung On Too Long will continue and will be joined by a brand-new series starting next week.  My aim is to keep up three pieces per week during the break in the action.

iRacing?  I like to joke that I got out of video games just before video games became cool.  So I know little to nothing about iRacing.  I will provide any coverage or insight into Nascar’s virtual races that I can—and I applaud Nascar and Fox/FS1’s willingness to provide original content.

So let’s stick around, because while Nascar may have stopped, my snarkiness is still in season.

Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Terry Labonte: Nascar Hall of Famer Retirements—Who Hung On Too Long?


Unlike other sports, Nascar can see drivers compete well into their 50’s.  While this allows for some pretty cool stories and added fan memories, it also can lend itself to some drivers staying active well past their prime.
With Jimmie Johnson being just the latest driver to announce his retirement from Nascar (effective the end of the 2020 season), I wanted to take a look at drivers who voluntarily retired from the sport to see if they hung on too long or left at just the right time (or maybe even a little too soon).  By “voluntary retirement” that means I’m not including anyone who was killed or seriously injured while driving.
Instead of looking at EVERY driver (even though interest in an analysis of Todd Bodine’s latter years could be quite high) I’m limiting it to Hall of Fame inductees—for now.

(Drivers listed in order of their Hall of Fame induction)

NOTE: Those inducted primarily or exclusively for achievements outside of driving (team ownership, crew chiefing, etc.) will not be considered.  Cup performance is all that’s considered for this piece.  Also, the more modern term “Cup Series” will be used instead of Grand National, Winston Cup, etc.

Terry Labonte

DRIVING ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Two-time Nascar Cup champion.  22 Cup Series wins.  Two-time Southern 500 winner.

LAST HURRAH: After several years of disappointing results, “Texas Terry” bounced back with a win in the 2003 Southern 500 and a tenth-place finish in that year’s points standings.

FINAL YEAR(S): After one last full-time season in 2004 (which saw him finish outside the top-20 in his final ten races) “The Ice Man” would go on to embark on a lengthy part-time career.  Buoyed by his past champion’s provisional, Labonte raced for teams of declining quality from 2005 through 2014, and after 2006 was not a serious threat to contend.

DID HE HANG ON TOO LONG?: Yes.  As a full-time driver 2003 would have been the perfect time to “ride off into the sunset”.  As a part-time driver, his 2006 third-place finish at Sonoma would have been the best time to hang it up.

Monday, March 16, 2020

Spade Racing Movie Previews: Early Spring Edition


As the winter wanes and people begin to come out of their figurative hibernation, movie theaters are ramping up their springtime offerings.  Here’s a look at movies coming out soon with a Nascar theme:

Inside The Rain: A recap of the first few weeks of the 2020 Nascar season, which for some reason seems to have really angered Mother Nature.

I Still Believe: Documentary on the world’s last remaining Johnny Benson fan, who never gives up hope for a comeback.

Never Rarely Sometimes Always: Ever wonder what happens to your data after you fill out a Nascar Fan Council survey?  This movie shows you the gigantic trash incinerator where it goes.

The Roads Not Taken: Thousands of irate fans are brought to the remains of North Wilkesboro Speedway to explain why there should be racing there.  Then, when a promoter offers to sell tickets to an upcoming conditional race, watch how quickly the fans scatter.

My Spy: Tony Stewart reveals his REAL reason for coming back to the Xfinity Series at Indy—to steal the secrets of Jeremy Clements.

The Hunt: Follow Chase Elliott on his quest to defeat Kyle Busch in the Truck Series to claim the bounty.  Then, watch as he tops that by finishing 15th in the Cup race.

Saturday, March 14, 2020

How to Deal with No Nascar and the Coronavirus Outbreak


As you’ve no doubt noticed, there’s no Nascar race this weekend due to the outbreak of COVID-19, aka Coronavirus.  The disease is easily spread which has led to all major sports leagues to cancel their events—including Nascar, one of the last to make the decision to postpone.  At the very least we have two weeks of no racing, so here’s how YOU can make it through this unexpected interruption:

STAY AWAY FROM THE RACE SHOPS—as documented on Spade Racing’s sister site Race Shop Reviews, virtually all Nascar race shops (which are normally open to the public) and the Nascar Hall of Fame are closed to visitors indefinitely.  For those of you who don’t live in the Carolina region, this will be easy—just make sure you don’t get in a car or plane headed towards the Queen City.  If you DO live near there, just don’t go anywhere with “Racing” or “Motorsports” in the name.  Well, unless you actually WORK for a Nascar team, in which case please drop off my (disinfected) resume.

INTERACT WITH IDIOTS—when you post about Nascar being cancelled on social media, you’ll be sure to hear from plenty of morons who’ll respond with such bon mots as “No fans?  Sounds normal to me!”.  These are the same people who tend to call it “NAPCAR” or “NASCRAP” and, for the most part, have never experienced joy or happiness in their life.
Looks like an old Travis Pastrana
paint scheme

INDULGE YOUR CREATIVE SIDE—most of us have more time in the home than ever before, so this is a great time to get a little creative.  Work on some Nascar-inspired artwork—who wouldn’t want a wall-sized mural of Phil Parsons in their living room?  Work on a racing-themed song in order to become the Marty Robbins of the 2020’s.  Go through old pictures from past-races to make a collage of you meeting famous racers covered up with your thumb.  Just don’t write Nascar comedy—that’s MY turf!

DON’T HOARD—unfortunately some jerks have been stocking up on hand sanitizer, face-masks, and, oddly enough, toilet paper.  Don’t do that.  First of all, its immoral, like staying out to lead a lap when you don’t even get a bonus point for it.  Second of all, its a bad look—did ANYONE like Jack Roush when he had five teams in the Chase?  Third of all, more than likely you won’t make your money back—you just KNOW there’s a guy with boxes and boxes of Kenny Irwin merchandise from 2000 sitting in his garage.

STAY SAFE AND STAY CALM—it might seem tough, but by using common sense hygiene (i.e. washing your hands for the duration of the old Metallica “Fuel” theme from Nascar on NBC) and avoiding large crowds (so the JJ Yeley Fan Club meeting should still be OK) you’ll be doing your part to stop the spread of this disease.  And remember to try to remain calm—don’t sucker punch the next person you see coughing, even if you’re one of the Bassett brothers.

Friday, March 13, 2020

Uncle Max vs. Last Year’s Winners: Atlanta


EDITOR’S NOTE: Uncle Max wrote this before his training was cancelled

Another winless week.  This season is proving to be a little more difficult than I had anticipated.  Might need to switch strategies and break out the old restrictor plate dartboard next weekend.
Speaking of which, my picks will be quick and to the point for Homestead-Miami since I’ll be out of town from Thursday through the weekend for corporate training.  Its something we have to go through at my work roughly once every five years, and its a nice little change of pace.  With the hotel and complimentary meals its like being on vacation, except you have to sit in a stuffy conference room for eight hours with your smart phone off.

CUP SERIES Folds of Honor QT 500: 2019 Winner (2 WINS) is Brad Keselowski.  FAVORITE: Kyle Busch—the second two-time winner this year.  NEXT FAVORITE: Chase Elliott—and prepare to hear idiots claim it was fixed. DARK HORSE: Erik Jones—reminding everyone that HE’S the fourth driver at JGR, not Christopher Bell.

XFINITY SERIES (2 WINS) EchoPark 250: Chase Briscoe—making himself known in the SHR camp.

TRUCK SERIES (1 WIN) Vet Tix 200: Kyle Busch—shining brightest when the spotlight AND pressure is on him.

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Bobby Isaac: Nascar Hall of Famer Retirements—Who Hung On Too Long?


Unlike other sports, Nascar can see drivers compete well into their 50’s.  While this allows for some pretty cool stories and added fan memories, it also can lend itself to some drivers staying active well past their prime.
With Jimmie Johnson being just the latest driver to announce his retirement from Nascar (effective the end of the 2020 season), I wanted to take a look at drivers who voluntarily retired from the sport to see if they hung on too long or left at just the right time (or maybe even a little too soon).  By “voluntary retirement” that means I’m not including anyone who was killed or seriously injured while driving.
Instead of looking at EVERY driver (even though interest in an analysis of Bobby Hillin Jr.’s latter years could be quite high) I’m limiting it to Hall of Fame inductees—for now.

(Drivers listed in order of their Hall of Fame induction)

NOTE: Those inducted primarily or exclusively for achievements outside of driving (team ownership, crew chiefing, etc.) will not be considered.  Cup performance is all that’s considered for this piece.  Also, the more modern term “Cup Series” will be used instead of Grand National, Winston Cup, etc.

Bobby Isaac

DRIVING ACCOMPLISHMENTS: 1970 Cup Series champion.  37 Cup Series wins.  Holds record for most poles in a single season (20).

LAST HURRAH: Isaac’s last win came in 1972, a season where he finished 19th in points despite missing several late-season races.  He remained competitive into 1973 until he infamously retired from the fall Talladega race for unconfirmed reasons (rumored to be that “a voice told him to”).

FINAL YEAR(S): Isaac would run a handful of races from 1974 through 1976, showing flashes of his past brilliance with a few top-ten finishes and a runner-up run at Bristol.  Sadly, he would die from a heat exhaustion-induced heart attack in 1977.

DID HE HANG ON TOO LONG?: Not really.  Isaac showed that he could still run near the front even after his mysterious departure from full-time driving, even though his race totals were in the single-digits per year.

Sunday, March 8, 2020

Spade Racing: THE ROOKIES—March Rakings


New for 2020, Spade Racing will take a monthly look at the heralded Cup Series rookie class to determine who’s hot and who’s not.  Debuting with this entry is the brand new PRETTY grade: Performance Relative to Equating Team’s Typical Year (its pretty much how well each driver is doing considering their equipment).  Here’s how things look going into Phoenix:

1. Tyler Reddick (Richard Childress Racing).  Best race finish: 11th (California).  PRETTY grade: A.  Reddick’s shown some real speed despite racing for a team that, well, has seen better days.  Here’s hoping my good review of the 8 team’s performance convinces them to run a Hut Stricklin Circuit City throwback car at Darlington.

2. Cole Custer (Stewart Haas Racing). Best race finish: 18th (California).  PRETTY grade: B-.  With stacked entry lists every weekend in Cup (…and RWR), a pair of top-twenties in your first two races is nothing to sneeze at.  Not that I have anything against sneezing with MY allergies lately.

3. John Hunter Nemechek (Front Row Motorsports).  Best race finish: 11th (Daytona).  PRETTY grade: B.  Buoyed by a near-top-ten at Daytona, JHN has been one of the most-sunrising rookies of the 2020 season, thus negating my usual bias against guys who always go by their full names.

4. Brennan Poole (Premium Motorsports).  Best race finish: 16th (Daytona).  PRETTY grade: A+.  While it DID come in a wreck-fest superspeedway race, Poole’s 16th place finish was like a top-five for the small-budget Premium team.  Learn more about it in my Team Finish Celebration Levels Conversion Chart, coming April 31st.

5. Christopher Bell (Leavine Family Racing).  Best race finish: 21st (Daytona).  PRETTY grade: D+.  Its been a rough start to the year for the presumptive ROTY favorite.  While the switch in manufacturers for LVR has to be taken into consideration, his performance pales in comparison to Matty D, likely convincing DiBennedetto’s fans that he should, oh, I dunno, get a lifetime contract with Joe Gibbs Racing and an automatic Hall of Fame induction?

6. Quin Houff (StarCom Racing).  Best race finish: 32nd (Las Vegas).  PRETTY grade: D.  StarCom is far from a front-runner, but not even breaking into the top-30 is a bad look.  And if there’s one thing team principal Derrike Cope is unfamiliar with, its looking bad.

Friday, March 6, 2020

Uncle Max vs. Last Year’s Winners: Phoenix


Sure, this is a rough start to the year for ol’ Uncle Max, but this is NOT the time to worry.
You know when you worry?  When you’ve bet your last $500 on the Super Bowl.  When you work Black Friday with a bad back.  When you answer a spurious online dating request for someone who seems to cycle through the same three responses to all your questions.  When your car’s “Need Service Now” light is on for three straight months and you have a road-trip to make.  When there’s a snowstorm coming and you don’t stock up on milk bread and beer.
THAT’S when you worry…although I will get a little nervous if there’s another 2019 repeat winner before I notch one.

CUP SERIES Fan Shield 500: 2019 Winner (2 WINS) is Kyle Busch.  FAVORITE: Kevin Harvick—here’s hoping Happy can recapture some magic in the desert to get me into the win column.  NEXT FAVORITE: Martin Truex Jr.—does this count as a home track for him? DARK HORSE: Chris Buescher—feel-good win on fuel mileage.

XFINITY SERIES (2 WINS) LS Tractor 200: Kyle Busch—let’s be honest, it’ll either be him or Brad K.

TRUCK SERIES (1 WIN)—off

Tuesday, March 3, 2020

Rex White: Nascar Hall of Famer Retirements—Who Hung On Too Long?


Unlike other sports, Nascar can see drivers compete well into their 50’s.  While this allows for some pretty cool stories and added fan memories, it also can lend itself to some drivers staying active well past their prime.
With Jimmie Johnson being just the latest driver to announce his retirement from Nascar (effective the end of the 2020 season), I wanted to take a look at drivers who voluntarily retired from the sport to see if they hung on too long or left at just the right time (or maybe even a little too soon).  By “voluntary retirement” that means I’m not including anyone who was killed or seriously injured while driving.
Instead of looking at EVERY driver (even though interest in an analysis of Greg Sacks’ latter years could be quite high) I’m limiting it to Hall of Fame inductees—for now.

(Drivers listed in order of their Hall of Fame induction)

NOTE: Those inducted primarily or exclusively for achievements outside of driving (team ownership, crew chiefing, etc.) will not be considered.  Cup performance is all that’s considered for this piece.  Also, the more modern term “Cup Series” will be used instead of Grand National, Winston Cup, etc.

Rex White

DRIVING ACCOMPLISHMENTS: 1960 Nascar Cup champion.  28 Cup Series wins.  Scored top-ten race finishes more than two-thirds of the time.

LAST HURRAH: White defended his championship with a second-place points finish in 1961.  He then retired from full-time driving.

FINAL YEAR(S): Although he didn’t post any race wins, White was still competing for top-fives for his final two years of 1963 and 64.  He then retired for reasons that, to this day, are still not entirely clear.

DID HE HANG ON TOO LONG?: No.  White raced the majority of his career in underfunded equipment, which makes his accomplishments throughout his short time in Nascar even more impressive.

Sunday, March 1, 2020

Timmy Hill to Win Kyle Busch Bounty with Exploding Piano Trick


Longtime independent driver Timmy Hill showed immediate interest in claiming the “Busch Bounty” put up by Kevin Harvick to any Cup Series regular who can beat Kyle Busch in a Truck Series race.  Today, in an exclusive interview with Spade Racing, Hill revealed his top-secret plan—an exploding piano meant to fell Busch before the race.
Believe me, if all those endearing
young charms...
“I got the idea watching old Looney Tunes cartoons”, Hill said.  “What I’ll do is set-up a piano at driver introductions.  I’ll claim that its a gift to Kyle from a local sponsor.  But here’s the trick—I’ll have sheet music ON the piano that Kyle won’t be able to avoid!”
Hill continued to explain his fiendish plan with, “Once Kyle sits down to play ‘Those Endearing Young Charms’, the key he’ll have to press for the 9th and 10th notes will be rigged to set off an explosion!  He won’t have a chance to win the race, and that bounty money will be MINE!”
Hill said that his exploding piano will not cause any permanent damage to Kyle Busch, but merely will make it difficult for him to drive that night in the Truck Series race.”
“Oh, I have no desire to hurt or maim anyone”, Hill assured us.  “I have the brightest minds of my hometown of Port Tobacco, MD (EDITOR’S NOTE: Port Tobacco has a total population of 13) working day and night to make sure that the worst that will happen will be Kyle getting his hair blown back, and maybe some piano keys blowing into his mouth in a hilarious fashion.”
The bounty, available to any Cup Series regular who can beat Busch cleanly in any of his remaining four Truck Series races, has attracted the attention of such drivers as Kyle Larson and Chase Elliott.  But Hill has claimed that his exploding piano trick will see HIM win the $100,000.

“My plan can’t fail!”, Hill exclaimed, before adding, “Well, unless Kyle can’t get the notes right.  I hate it when that happens!”

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