Sunday, August 25, 2019

Opening Up 8 Packs of 2004 Press Pass Cards—Part 1 of 2

In honor of Throwback Week, and as a preview of an upcoming offseason project, I ordered a “blaster box” of 2004 Press Pass Nascar Trading Cards—8 packs in the box (yay!), 4 cards per pack (boo!).  What were cards—and the sport—like 15 years ago?  Let’s look!

IN FOCUS: Its pretty depressing that they show Mark Martin visibly going AWAY from the Cup Championship exit—maybe Richard Childress gave him wrong directions.  Also, as a Delaware resident, I can tell you that Dover’s Victory Lane does NOT have his own dedicated exit off of the Route 1 bypass.

A CLOSER LOOK: Speaking of Delaware, we get a look back to when MBNA was a thing thanks to Bobby Labonte’s “Cool Persistence” card.  Unfortunately the 2004 season wouldn’t lead to another Cup championship for Bobby—instead it led to being teammates with Kyle Petty.

WHAT THE?: While its cool that a frighteningly young-looking Kurt Busch had a dog, who the hell names their dog “Jim”?  I mean, Jimmy, Jimbo, Jim-Bob—all of those I get.  But Jim?  What, did he have a cat named Fred?

Friday, August 23, 2019

Kevin Harvick to Run 1880’s Tribute Car at Darlington

Continuing on the success of his recent Millennial and Gen-X paint schemes, Kevin Harvick and Busch Beer have announced that they will be running a Gilded Age paint scheme for the upcoming Darlington Throwback weekend.
“We’ve had a lot of success lately paying tribute to the current and most-recent generations”, Harvick said while combing a newly-grown handlebar mustache.  “But at Darlington we’ll take a look back at the fourth- or fifth-greatest generation this nation has ever seen, the one that came of age when the Brooklyn Bridge and Statue of Liberty were just new ideas.”
The spanking vintage scheme
Harvick made the announcement next to a version of his number 4 Busch Beer car, covered in 1880’s slang as the two previous “generational tribute” cars had done before.
“We hope to avoid getting ‘in the soup’ at Darlington—we’ll have to ‘scrooch’ the car through turn one, but this is a real ‘corker’ of a car we got here.”, Harvick said.  “I’m just glad its not an actual car from the 19th-century, as cranking the engine after every pit stop would get pretty tiring for our pit crew.”
Harvick refused to comment on the rumor that he agreed to the promotion because he thought that it would be a tribute to Garfield the Cat, not James A. Garfield, the president gunned down early into his first and only term in 1881.

“I’m just glad that we’re out there doing something other teams aren’t doing”, Harvick instead responded.  “It was either this or the same damn scheme we run here every year with a slight difference to it.”

Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Spade Racing’s 2019 Throwback Week (and pre-throwback weekend picks)

This year's throwback scheme (click to enlarge)
Welcome to yet another throwback week at Spade Racing!  This year we throw back to one of the most-iconic paint schemes in Nascar history…to be run by Lake Speed.  That’s right, the infamous SPAM car, most-famous for being the thing Michael Waltrip shoved his fist in after a race.  So get back into the throwback mood because we’ll be here all the way through Labor Day!


XFINITY SERIES CTECH 180 (6 wins): Austin Cindric—AC continues his

mastery of the road course.

TRUCK SERIES Chevy Silverado 250 (7 wins): Brett Moffitt—two straight for mustache man.

Monday, August 19, 2019

Opening a Sealed Box of 2019 Donruss Racing Cards PACK 18

Recently I got a sealed box of 2019 Donruss Racing Cards—24 packs, 8 cards per pack.  Join me as I go through the entire case, pack-by-pack, to see what awaited me. (Click any picture to enlarge)

PACK 18 OF 24: Bayne, Kahne, and Keeping Sane

OVERVIEW: Another pack with very little focus on the distant past also winds up being cluttered by such recently retired drivers as Kasey Kahne and Carl Edwards (no offense), as well as the involuntarily retired Trevor Bayne.  Also, more Danica.

SPECIAL SPECIAL: Ricky Stenhouse Jr. again shows just how cool the vintage Donruss look goes with the OPTIC program, although its hurt a little by the scant information on the back.  They REALLY should’ve found something to put in that second white block.

IN FOCUS: OK, lets calm down here, Donruss copywriters: Alex Bowman’s a decent driver, but he’s not yet a “CONTENDER”.  He hasn’t posted a win yet and had a decent but far from spectacular year in 2018.  Don’t go crazy on us, here!

SPOTLIGHT: Funny thing is that minus the “TriStar Motorsports” logo on his firesuit, Corey’s picture here is still applicable in 2019 with his new team!

SCORE: 2 sponsor appearances out of 10

Saturday, August 17, 2019

Silly Season Preview/Updates: Its Bristol Media Sessions Baby!

For some reason Bristol race weekend has turned into a makeshift launch for “Silly Season” when drivers and teams announce their plans (or lack thereof) for the following year.  Here’s what you might’ve missed if you haven’t realized that Jayski is back in effect:
Ross Chastain is rumored for the
2nd Kaulig Racing Xfinity Series
car next year, meaning another
season of endless Watermelon
jokes by Michael Waltrip

—Matt DiBenn…DeBena…DiBenod…Matty D has been told that he will NOT be returning to the 95 car next year, becoming some fans’ 6,945th reason why Nascar is dying.  The 95 car is almost certainly going to be driven next year by Xfinity Series wunderkind Christopher Bell, unless Bell gets Erik Jones’ car (in which case Jones would be “Atwooded” to the 95).

—David Ragan has announced that he will be stepping away from full-time racing next year.  Strange that he would announce that since he only really competes at Daytona and Talladega, but ok then.

—Several drivers are up in the air as to their plans for 2020—Daniel Suarez will be entering an option year with SHR and must decide where to go to contend for wins while never actually winning.  Daniel Hemric could be replaced by Tyler Reddick in the RCR 8 car that constantly fails inspection.  And *Copy from last two years* *Paste* Kurt Busch has yet to decide where he’ll race in 2020, if at all.

—Meanwhile, drivers such as Ryan Preece and Aric Almirola have confirmed they’ll be staying with their current teams for 2020, thus making the first time in history that those drivers have been in the same sentence together, so there’s that.

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Spade Racing Picks: Uncle Max vs. Mystery Picker—Bristol

My nephew requested this space to make a comment about this entry


Yeah, we’re all a little worried about him.

CUP SERIES Bass Pro Shops 500: Mystery Picker (1 win) picks Kyle Busch.  Favorite (4 wins): Martin Truex Jr.—nice try Mystery Pickers, but it’s too late to be a front runner.  Next Favorite (3 wins): Kurt Busch—1 car in first.  Dark Horse: Jimmie Johnson—can you believe that he’s a Dark Horse?

XFINITY SERIES Food City 300 (6 wins): Kyle Busch—natch.

TRUCK SERIES UNOH 200 (7 wins): Johnny Sauter—wins the first race of the Playoffs, whatever that means.

Sunday, August 11, 2019

Nascar SummerSlam: The Biggest Party of the Summer (…Slam)

That’s right, WWE and Nascar are teaming up again for the biggest Sports Racing Entertainment Spectacular of the summer!  Here’s the action you can expect to see (Card Subject to Change)

NOTE—for the riveting best-of-seven series between Bubba Wallace and Kyle Busch, CLICK HERE.

Truck Series Battle Royale—each Truck Series driver competes to be the last man standing and win the most-coveted prize of the Series—an eight-race contract to drive the 8 car for JR Motorsports in Xfinity next year.

Xfinity Series Chevy Developmental Driver Scramble—John Hunter Nemechek, Justin Haley, Noah Gragson, Zane Smith, Sheldon Creed, Sam Mayer, and a masked mystery opponent known only as “El Dingero” compete for a chance to be Austin Dillon’s support driver.

Jeff “The Mayor” Burton vs. Steve “The Maine Man” LeTarte in a vocal contest to see whose voice can get higher (judged by Dale Jr.).

The Dynamic Dillons (Austin & Ty) vs. The RCR Rebels (Tyler Reddick & Daniel Hemric) for control of the RCR break room snack machine.  Guest referee Richard Childress, Guest timekeeper Chocolate Myers, Guest ring announcer Brad Childress.

Kyle “Rowdy” Busch vs. William “The Ax-alta of Truth” Byron (with manager Chad “Armadillo” Knaus), if Kyle loses he must spend five minutes as Bubba Wallace’s personal snare drum.

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP—Kyle “The Credit Card Man” Larson vs. Clint “Itchy” Bowyer, winner no longer has to deal with being called a disappointment in 2019.

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP—Ryan “The Buckeye Bullet” Blaney vs. Jimmie “Ol’ Seven Time” Johnson, in a carbon-fiber cage.

SIX-MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP—The Stewart-Hass Hellions (Kevin Harvick, Daniel Suarez, Aric Almirola) (with manager Tony “Slugger” Stewart) vs. The Chevy Chargers (Kurt Busch, Alex Bowman, Chase Elliott), winners also get inspection immunity next weekend.

TAG TEAM ELIMINATOR FOUR-WAY—The Roush Rockets (Ryan Newman & Ricky Stenhouse Jr.) vs. The JTG-Destroyers (Ryan Preece & Chris Buescher) vs. Coach’s Crew (Denny Hamlin & Erik Jones) vs. The Premium Jobbers (Reed Sorenson & Ross Chastain), winner becomes #1 contender to the Tag Team Championship belts held by The Penske File (Brad Keselowski & Joey Logano), loser has to employ Paul Menard next year.

WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP—Martin “The Pro” Truex Jr. vs. “Jumpin’” Joey Logano