Spade Racing

Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2022 Donruss Nascar Cards, Pack 11 of 24

Join us (well, me) as we/I go through a box of 2022 Donruss Nascar Cards. New teams, new drivers, new subsets, and of course some corny commentary by me.

Pack 11—Metal Fleck, Football Dreck, and an F1 Reject

FIRST LOOK: The foil-like look of the Elite cards looks good in person, but doesn’t shine through (pun intended) in pictures. Sorry, but I took pottery in high school.

TO THE BACK: Both of these cards (note the gray variant in the first pic) have the same drivel from Bill Parcells, a man with zero connection to racing. And why is “Kyle” in quotation marks—its his name. If anything they should be around Duane “Bill” Parcells.

SAY WHAT: “Sorry, my PR people say I can’t talk to anyone anymore.”

RATING: 6 pit stops out of 10

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Musically Declined: Stock Car Racing’s Entertainers of the Year, I’m Puttin’ You in My Rear View

Stock Car Racing and Country Music—two pillars of culture in the Southern United States. And the two have mingled throughout the years. So put on your racing shoes, make sure they match your cowboy hat, and settle in for a look back at some of Nascar’s biggest stars turned Nashville wannabes!

The Song: I’m Puttin’ You in My Rear View by Mark Morell

The Star: Buddy Baker

The Clip:

The Review: And we finally have it—a repeat singer from “Nascar Goes Country”. Buddy was the best on that album, but you can tell his voice has aged pretty quickly in the past decade. Then again, it doesn’t help that his song is about…drafting. Seriously—its not an analogy for anything, its just a song about passing someone by using the slingshot pass.

The Verdict: Nice try Buddy, but stick to Butterbeans.

Nascar Criticized for “Dusty Finish” at Pocono

Nascar officials have been getting more than their fair share of criticism for how their race was booked on Sunday, with scores of experts bashing the use of an ambiguous “Dusty Finish” at Pocono.

“Its, ah, finishes like this that, um, show how bankrupt Nascar is on the, uh, creative side of things”, said pundit Don Beltzer, longtime publisher of the Pro Racing Observer. “There’s, uh, no way things will get back to, ah, how Nascar was in its prime, unless, uh, they return to running exhibition races in, ah, Japan.”

The term “Dusty Finish” (named after frequent user Dusty Rhodes), refers to a race or match that ends one way, only for that result to be overturned soon afterwards. The usage of “Dusty Finishes” has been criticized for years by the Internet Motorsports Community.

“This is worse than those Indy 500 finishes that took months to decide”, said NascarInsider writer Mark Johnston. “You can’t insult the fans’ intelligence like this by disqualifying a driver only AFTER most of the fans have left the track. I mean, this isn’t the 90’s where you were trying to drive fans to the Nascar 1-900 line for scoops.”

The final decision—which stripped the win from Denny Hamlin and second place from teammate Kyle Busch—has been roundly mocked by numerous fans and experts.

“I haven’t seen anything like this since Emmanuel Zervakis in 1960”, said longtime racing wag Will Bapter. “I don’t want to cast too many aspersions here, but its moves like this that allow conspiracy theories to form.”

When reached for comment, Nascar would not confirm or deny that the race win had been “held up” and would be fought for in a ladder match at Michigan.