Unboxing and Unwrapping: Parts 21 & 22

21. DiBenedetto, a kingly duo, and Derrike overflow

OVERVIEW:  Derrike Cope would you please leave now!  Other than Spanaway’s finest continuing to clog up this box, there’s a nice mixture here, including Official Cup Series Underdog Matt DiBenedetto.  Also, oddly enough we get the two most-recent drivers of the 43 car, along with the man who made it famous (no, not Dinger).

BACK OF THE CARD BONUS:  Matty D gets accused of using “…an old Willie Nelson tour bus”.  Ignoring the fact that this would be incredibly easy to prove or debunk, its fitting that Willie’s bus would be taken over by a guy from Grass Valley.

PICK OF THE PACK:  Bubba Wallace gets the “Rated Rookie” treatment in this pack, mentioning his strange streak of five-straight sixth-place finishes in the 2017 Xfinity Series season.  Thankfully they leave out how he lost his ride shortly after—Jack Roush apparently likes his Xfinity drivers to win at Daytona and lose everywhere else.

FINAL RATING:  7 charity events out of 10

22. C.Bell, backmarker hell, and Brendan’s swell

OVERVIEW:  This pack is REALLY across the board—everything from a pair of Kevin Harvick cards to proven race winners like Joey Logano and Mark Martin to Corey Lajoie and (limited edition) David Ragan.  We also get a contented look on Brendan Gaughan, which is how I’d probably look if I was the scion of a rich, powerful family with unlimited buffet comps.

BACK OF THE CARD BONUS:  “Rated Rookie” Christopher Bell gets his Truck Series exploits touted—well, through the start of the 2017 playoffs.  A pretty cool card to hold onto when you look at his career prospects, although it would’ve been nice of them to add in a quick “oh yeah he done good”.

PICK OF THE PACK:  “Happy”.  Funny, “Happy” is how I’d describe my general satisfaction with my life.

FINAL RATING:  5 rain delays out of 10

Timmy Hill Exploring Nickname Possibilities

Journeyman Nascar driver Timmy Hill has recently confirmed that he is considering adopting one of a number of potential nicknames, apparently in an attempt to increase his marketability and raise his public profile.

“All the Nascar greats have nicknames—‘The King’ Richard Petty, ‘The Silver Fox’ David Pearson, ‘Rainbow Warrior’ Jeff Gordon.  Well, maybe a cool nickname is all that’s missing from adding MY name to that illustrious list.  ‘Illustrious’—did I use that word right?”

Hill explained that he’s been hard at work exploring possibilities for a nickname, many of them focusing on his given name.

“I love my family, but let’s be honest—‘Timmy Hill’ doesn’t exactly strike fear in the hearts of other drivers, does it?”, Hill said.  “So if more racers knew me as, say, Timmy ‘The Thrill’ Hill, they might think twice about blocking me when we’re battling for 32nd place.”

Hill released the following list of names he’s said are ‘On the shortlist’ to be adopted:

Timmy ‘The Thrill’ Hill

Timmy ‘King of The’ Hill

“Hill Power”

“The Hilleon”

“The Timm Reaper”

Timmy ‘Gimme a’ Hill ‘Yeah’

Hill stated that while those names are his finalists, he’s also considering a few others “…a bit more out of left field”.

“I kinda like Timmy ‘Wood Chopper’ Hill ‘Topper’, but I think that might be a bit too long.  Also, I’d love to go with ‘The InTIMMYdator’ but I think there could be some copyright issues with that one.”

Hill said that he plans to announce his new nickname the morning of the season finale race at Homestead.  He also said that he plans to announce his plans for racing in 2019 the morning of the first points race of the year at Daytona.

Nascar Pick Challenge: Uncle Max vs. Mystery Picker—Martinsville

As we close in on the end of the season, I’ll ask it again—WHO THE HECK IS MYSTERY PICKER?

My nephew won’t tell me a single thing about him (or her), only to say that Mystery has some sort of “system” that (s)he swears by.  Well what kind of system is it?  And what kind of system picks Erik freaking Jones to win at Martinsville?!?  I mean, some of the picks Mystery’s made are solid, but some seem to really be as random as can be.

And with all that being said—how can Mystery have as many correct picks as me?  I mean, I do my research.  I look at the trends.  I apply my gambling expertise.  And the only advantage Mystery has over me is that they get to pick first.

WHO ARE YOU?!?!?!?

Truck Series Texas Roadhouse 200 (3 wins)—Todd Gilliland: Really, Texas Roadhouse?  You couldn’t wait just one more week to sponsor a race at, y’know, TEXAS?

Cup Series First Data 500—MYSTERY PICKER (4 wins) PICKS Erik Jones.  Favorite (4 wins): Kyle Busch—Sticking with Rowdy this week.  Next Favorite (5 wins): Kevin Harvick—another member of the Big Three triumphs.  Dark Horse: Jimmie Johnson—why?  Because Martinsville.