Spade Racing’s 2017 Silly Season Recap—100% True, 95% Complete

Dale Jr. stands next to his replacement
driver--Alex Bowman--and replacement
car--the Chevy Camaro.

Spade Racing’s 6 for 6 offseason series returns next week

Happy New Year, everybody!  As we power into 2018, you might be wondering where the dust has settled in arguably the busiest Nascar “Silly Season” in recent memory.  Well, that’s where your good friends—well, ok, friend—at Spade Racing comes in!

WHAT’S THAT ABOUT DALE JR. LEAVING?!?  Yep, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Nascar’s most-popular driver, announced his retirement and has officially driven off into the sunset, minus a few Xfinity Series races over the next year or two.  He’ll be sticking around the sport, however, as an analyst for NBC Sports’ Nascar broadcasts.

WHO ELSE IS GONE?  Matt Kenseth announced mere weeks before the end of the season that, lacking a contending ride for 2018, he’ll be taking this upcoming season off, although one would have to think it would take something crazy to find him back racing in Nascar full-time in 2019.  Meanwhile, Danica Patrick, also lacking a ride for 2018, has announced she will run in the Daytona 500 and Indy 500 next year, then retire from racing.

BIGGEST SCHEDULE CHANGES:
--Daytona starts a week earlier, giving us three off-weekends
--Chicago moves to mid-summer
--New Hampshire loses its 2nd date
--Indy is now the final "regular season" race
--Las Vegas gets a 2nd race, which opens the Playoffs
--Charlotte's Playoff race will be on the "Roval" road course

EARNHARDT JR, KENNETH, EDWARDS, STEWART, GORDON—WHY ARE SO MANY DRIVERS CALLING IT QUITS?  There’s many reasons, but the main one is money—now that the boom period gravy train has derailed, drivers simply aren’t getting paid as well as they once were.  Nascar is much safer than it has ever been, but too many drivers, looking at a secure financial future from shrewd deals in the past, simply don’t want to be risking their health (and lives) for less money.

IS NASCAR’S DOWNTURN IN POPULARITY DUE TO SO MANY BIG-NAME DRIVERS RETIRING, OR ARE SO MANY BIG-NAME DRIVERS RETIRING BECAUSE OF NASCAR’S DOWNTURN IN POPULARITY?  Yes.

OK, OK, SO WHO’S MOVING AROUND FOR 2018?  Glad you asked!  Here’s where everybody’s wound up now that the music has stopped for this season’s game of Musical Racing Seats:

—Erik Jones slides over from the 77 Furniture Row car to take Matt Kenseth’s spot in the 20 Joe Gibbs Racing car.  The 77 team is shutting down with sponsor 5-Hour Energy moving over to Furniture Row’s remaining team, reigning champion Martin Truex Jr.'s 78.

—Alex Bowman moves into Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s former ride, the 88 Nationwide/Axalta car.  Beyond that there’s some car number changes at Hendrick Motorsports—Chase Elliott’s ride will now be the #9 car (in honor of his father), while William Byron moves up to the former #5 car—renumbered to the 24—to compete for Rookie of the Year honors and sponsorship from Liberty U and Axalta.

—Released from the former #5 ride, Kasey Khane moves over to the Leavine Family Racing #95 car.

—LFR’s former driver, Michael McDowell, goes to Front Row Motorsports, where he’ll team with David Ragan, sponsors and number assignments to be determined.  Currently former FRM driver Landon Cassill looks like the “odd man out” without a ride for 2018.

—Kurt Busch looked like he could be leaving Stewart-Haas Racing, but has instead re-upped for another year.

—Aric Almirola takes his talents—and Smithfield sponsorship—from Richard Petty Motorsports to SHR’s #10 ride, formerly that of Danica Patrick.

—After a messy breakup, Smithfield will still support RPM’s famed #43 ride in some form, although not as the primary sponsor.  ROTY-candidate Bubba Wallace Jr. will take over for AA in the 43, which will switch from Ford to Chevy (and an alliance with RCR).

—Speaking of famed rides, the Wood Brothers will have a new driver next year in Paul Menard, who will drive the #21 in 2018.  Ryan Blaney will shift over to the long-dormant third Team Penske car, the #12.

—The only major ride left open as of now is Menard’s former ride, the RCR #27.  It has been linked to Brennan Poole and sponsor DC Solar, but could simply be shuttered for 2018.

WHEW—THAT’S A LOT OF CHANGES.  ANYTHING ELSE I NEED TO KNOW?  All Chevy teams will be running Camaro’s instead of SS’s (EssEssEs?) next year.

HOW ABOUT SPONSORSHIP SHIFTS?  The biggest one, mentioned above, is Smithfield following Aric Almirola to SHR.  Also, Target departed motorsports entirely, with Credit One taking over as the main sponsor of Kyle Larson’s #42 car.  And Brad Keselowski’s #2 car will have sponsorship split relatively evenly into thirds with Miller Lite, Discount Tire, and Alliance Auto Parts.

SO WHO’S LEFT WITH SPONSORSHIP TO FILL?  Well, many announcements could be forthcoming, but right now the biggest teams with major holes appear to be Chip Ganassi Racing with the 42, Joe Gibbs Racing with the 20, Richard Petty Motorsports with the 43, and, depending on how you consider in-house sponsorship, possibly the SHR teams of the 14 and 41.

UGH, OK, TELL ME—WHAT ARE THE RULES CHANGES FOR 2018?  Surprisingly few—there’ll be five men over the wall on pit stops instead of six, but other than that, things are pretty much the same…for now.

Spade Racing Films 6 for 6: An Offseason Documentary Series--Don’t Turn Out That Light: The Last Man at MLC

(Open on a wide-shot of an aging Detroit-area office building at sundown.  The building has a large “RENT/LEASE” sign plastered over what appears to be a 90’s era Chevrolet logo.  As the narration begins, the camera very slowly zooms in onto the only window of the building with the lights on in it)

Narrator: “There’s an old saying—‘Last man out, turn off the lights’.  Well, truth is that in some cases, there’s reasons—usually of the legal variety—when one man has to stay.”

(Switch to an interior of the office building.  Dusty cardboard stand-ups of Jeff Gordon and Dale Earnhardt Jr. are piled against a wall in an otherwise unused conference room.  Another switch, to a rust-covered bathroom with a 90’s era Detroit Lions decal on a stall.  Finally, another switch to an office door, with lights on the other side.  We enter, to see a late-middle-aged man working at his desk.)

Narrator: “This is the office of Allen Cathy.  From 1999 until 2009, he helped run GM’s Chevrolet racing division, pumping millions of dollars into race teams like Richard Childress Racing and Hendrick Motorsports.  In 2009, GM entered a government-backed bankruptcy proceeding.  The profitable assets of General Motors was transferred to a ‘NEW’ GM, while the remaining components were kept in what was now know as Motors Liquidation Company.  The bankruptcy judge decreed that someone had to remain at MLC for legal reasons.  This is his story.”

Allen Cathy: “Hi—I’m Allen Cathy, executive director at Motors Liquidation Company, formerly known as General Motors.  Welcome to my world.”

(Title screen ‘Don’t Turn Out That Light: The Last Man at MLC’ appears across a late-90’s-era CRT computer monitor)

(Scene is set in an “interview corner” of Cathy’s office—there’s a framed autographed picture of Dale Earnhardt Sr. on the wall, as well as a random IndyCar diecast car on a small pedestal.)

Cathy: “Well, we did a lot here back when it was the old GM.  We won races, won championships, even established a dynasty with Jeff Gordon.  Not a lot of people know this, but I was one of the first people to suggest hiring Jeff to drive for us.  Back then Ford has all THEIR eggs in the Robby Gordon basket.  Nice to see how that’s turned out for THEM.”

Narrator: (as we see Cathy thumbing through filing cabinets) “Every weekday for the past nine years, minus vacations, Allen Cathy has come in to work at 9am, leaving at 5pm.  He’s the sole employee of this company, one that once employed hundreds of thousands around the world.”

Cathy: (interview corner) “The idea to bring in the Looney Tunes characters, that was all me—the bigwigs had their hearts set on Felix the Cat for some reason, but I convinced them that Dale Earnhardt (Sr.) transforming into the Tasmanian Devil was money in the bank.”

Narrator: (as Cathy eats a small lunch at his desk) “Its often been said that history cannot be bought, sold, or faked.  In that sense, the nearly-century-long history of Chevrolet is not embodied in the company based in the Renaissance Center down the road—its embodied here, by a man who maintains a job that consists almost entirely of archiving files and answering the phone calls of asbestos litigants.”

Cathy: (interview corner) “Nobody knew who Jimmie Johnson was until I put him in front of Rick Hendrick.  That kid was raw—anybody who saw him race for Herzog-Jackson in the Busch (now Xfinity) Series would know that.  But that’s what the sport needed at the time, not some polished pretty-boy who’d spend time every morning manicuring their facial hair.”

Narrator: (as Cathy adjusts a clock on the wall) “‘What’s good for GM is good for the country’, the old idiom supposedly went, but ironically the success of ‘NEW’ GM has pushed the legacy of MLC further from the minds of the public.”

Cathy: (interview corner) “So in 2009 I got reassigned to this place.  I still don’t know why I was moved off of the motorsports division, but one rumor I heard was because I took too much credit for everything, which is funny because I invented telling people that they did that.”

Narrator: (as Cathy sits idly at his desk) “As you watch Kyle Larson competing for another win.  As you drive by a Cadillac dealership on your way home.  As you see a Buick commercial and wonder how the heck they stuck around.  Remember that this all is from a company less than a decade old.  And that 101 years of success, history, and legacy is maintained here, in this office, by Allen Cathy.”

(Fade out over the office building as the single light remains on)

Spade Racing Films 6 for 6: An Offseason Documentary Series--Let’s Go Away

“Hi, I’m Kyle Busch”  “Hi, I’m Austin Dillon”  “Hi, I’m Kyle Larson”  “Hi, I’m Brad Keselowski”  “Hi, I’m Jimmie Johnson”

Narrator: “These drivers don’t have a lot in common, but they do have one common thread

All Drivers In Unison: “Hi, I’m a Nascar driver, and I was inspired by Daytona USA!”

(Daytona USA theme starts as “attract mode” screen is shown) “Doo doo doodoo doodoo doodoo DOO DOOOOOOO DayyyyyTONNNNNAHHHHHH!!! DayyyyTONNNNAHHHHH lets go away…”

(Title screen is shown)

Kyle Busch: “When I was growing up my brother would take me to the mall.  He’d go to hit on some girls over at the weapons store and leave me at the arcade with five dollars in quarters.  I used to play NBA Jam or Virtua Fighter, but then one day that Daytona USA console showed up.  Just think what might have happened otherwise. (image shown of Kyle Busch’s head superimposed on a basketball player’s body)  Before then, racing was just something my dad and my brother did on the weekends.  But from the moment I put in that first dollar’s worth of quarters, I knew that racing was something I could do, and do as much as I wanted to, no matter what.”

Austin Dillon: “I remember seeing a Daytona USA console for the first time, oddly enough, at Daytona USA, the old exhibit they had down at the track in the 90’s.  I guess you could say my introduction to the game was just like anybody else’s—I played it once, said I thought it was cool, and next thing you know it, my pop-pop has a four-seat unit shipped to my parents’ house for my birthday. (image shown of Austin Dillon’s head on a kid’s body, a clipart party hat cocked at an angle)  It was great because before, to me, racing was what my my dad did with my pop-pop watching his every move.  Now, pop-pop was focusing his attention on ME, making sure I never screwed up, and was always learning about what it meant to be a racer.  You know, I still have that unit today (shot of a Daytona USA unit in a ‘man cave’, with one seat well-worn, the other three in pristine condition).”

Kyle Larson: “Daytona USA—well, to be honest, i didn’t really play it that much.  I think my dad played it with me a few times when I was really little, but by the time I can remember going to the mall with my mom, the arcade was replaced by a Chipotle.  (image shown of Kyle Larson in cartoon form showing up at a mall, seeing “ARCADE CLOSED” sign, and walking off despondently).  In fact, I’ve never really been much for video games at all.  I thought most people knew that—why am I being interviewed for this?  Oh, wait, *I* get it—you think just because I’m part-Japanese, that I’m really into video games?  Huh?  Well I’m sick and tired of that stereotype!!!  I grew up like a redneck and spent every waking hour on the track, not watching anime or having Pokemon battles!  And another thing—“

Brad Keselowski: “Growing up in racing, we weren’t like most families.  I knew I’d go down to a restaurant down the block with a little ‘arcade’ section and play Daytona USA till I ran out of money.  I earned myself quite a reputation down there, taking on all challengers for the title of ‘Jerry’s Grill & Sports Bar Daytona USA Champion’. (image shown of Brad holding up an animated championship belt as an unseen crowd cheers)  Yep, me and some stranger would sit down, start the race, and just go back and forth.  He’d say something about my car looking slow, and I’d say something about how the general acceptance by most of the public of an omniscient being makes free will truly an illusion.  He’d ask me what my problem was, and I’d say that it’s wondering how we can go on knowing that there are likely whole other planes of existence and consciousness yet to be explored by man.  Funny thing was, win or lose, they’d never want to play me again."

Jimmie Johnson: “It’s funny—when I first moved to North Carolina to pursue my dream of being a Nascar driver, it was hard to meet new people.  So on Friday nights when I didn’t have a race to run, I’d go down to a mall near my condo and just play Daytona USA for an hour or so.  It gave me a chance to clear my head, think things through, kind of like what running and biking does for me now (image of Jimmie’s head on a cartoon body in a Daytona USA console, steering with his arms but pedaling a bike with his feet).  You know, the strange thing was, I’d always see Ray Evernham down at that mall too.  It was kinda weird, I mean, him being a world champion crew chief around a bunch of teenagers, but he’d always say he was ‘scouting for his next project’.  Me being a nobody trying to become a somebody, I’d ask if he was looking for a driver, but apparently he was only looking for female drivers for some reason."

Narrator: “Daytona USA—one of the most-popular, most-successful, and most-influential video games of all-time, especially amongst Nascar’s ‘Young Gun’ crowd.  Well, most of them.”

Chase Elliott: “I wasn’t allowed to play Daytona USA—my dad made me play Bill Elliott’s Fast Tracks on a Game Boy.  I kept telling him that nobody HAD Game Boys anymore, but he really wanted me to learn how to win in an Oldsmobile for some reason.”