Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Nascar at the 2016 Summer Olympics

With The NBC Family of Networks about ready to shaft Nascar over to USA (motto: a bunch of shows your aunt watches, and rasslin) its time for Spade Racing to do the same.  So here’s a preview of Nascar Nation’s delegation to the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
IOC Code: NAS
Organizing Group: Nascar Olympic Committee (“Don’t NOC us till you try us!”)
Opening Ceremonies Flag Bearer: Greg Sacks
Participants:
Archery—Kyle Larson
Boxing—Marcos Ambrose
Fencing—Derek White
Modern Pentastarthlon—Mike Harmon
Ancient Pentathlon—Morgan Shepherd
Dennis—Tennis Setzer
Wrestling—any enemies of Brad Keselowski

ABOUT NASCAR NATION: Nascar Nation is a small, auto-nomous country located in North America.  Its capital city is Mooresville, and the country enjoys a benevolent dictatorship under King Brian the Chubby.  Its main exports are speed, exhilaration, and whiny posts on the internet.