Saturday, July 9, 2016

BREAKING NEWS: Dale Earnhardt Jr. Leaves Race to Help Fan with Burnt Truck File Claim

Nascar fans were stunned this evening as Dale Earnhardt Jr., the sport’s most-popular driver, exited today’s race early in order to help a fan whose truck had caught fire in the parking lot file an insurance claim.
“At the office, people call me Bossman, and at the track, fans call me JOON-yah, but first and foremost I’m a driver for Nationwide Insurance”, Earnhardt Jr. told a gathering crowd of fans near where he’d parked his Sprint Cup Series car.  “And that means working for Nationwide wherever they need me.  Because ‘Nationwide is On Your Side’ is more than a marketing slogan—it’s a promise.”
Upon discovering that Earnhardt Jr. was the closest Nationwide employee to the fire, he was almost-immediately dispatched to the scene.
“Looks like some pretty serious damage here, but I don’t think its a total loss”, Earnhardt Jr. told the truck’s owner while pecking at a tablet.  “It’s a good thing you have total coverage—heck, if you were with Geico, Casey Mears probably wouldn’t even have come out here, and HE’S sixteen laps down.”
The truck’s owner was unavailable for comment but was seen making arrangements with Earnhardt Jr. via a Nationwide insurance app to get a rental car that night in order to get home.

“Alright, looks like you’re all set here”, Earnhardt Jr. told the driver after sealing the deal with a strong, firm handshake.  “Might as well go back to the race until the rental car guys get here.  Oh, I gotta get back too, need those points!”