Saturday, October 4, 2014

"Start and Wreck" Milka Duno: Trendsetter

by Jay Brent, special for Spade Racing

Jay Brent, off his
anti-psychotic meds
After failing to qualify for her previous Nationwide Series races, Milka Duno made history today, making the field for the Kansas Lottery 300.  Despite racing for a mid-level Nationwide team, Milka refused to "Start-and-Park" for the race, instead deciding to break new ground by doing the sport's first-ever "Start and Wreck".
"We didn't really have the resources to run a full race", Duno said to me in a fever dream, "so we decided to go out with a 'bang'.  So I hope nobody thinks that I wrecked by accident--it was all part of the larger plan to bring exposure to my sponsor, Green Bizarre Logo".
Green Bizarre Logo's paint scheme
Duno has an extensive racing background, having tested the "Start and Wreck" several times before in IndyCar and ARCA.  However, in a post-wreck interview that may-or-may-not have actually happened, she showed dismay that it was immediately being adapted by other drivers.
"Hey, John Wes Townley stole my idea!", Duno 'said' to me.  "And he doesn't have any money problems--his dad's richer than Clyde Torkel!"
Duno will continue her Nationwide Series attempts next week at Charlotte, paving the way for two weeks from now, when the Milkapolypse will be upon us.