Tuesday, October 21, 2014

A Nascar Nationwide Series Championship Speech I'd Like to See

"In the tradition of Jack Ingram, in the tradition of Larry Pearson of the Pearson family, of Sam Ard, of Joe Nemechek-- the man whose career will never die. As the real young gun Rob Moroso, upstairs tonight. From the Chuck Bowns, to the Johnny Bensons, to the...(grimaces in a thinly veiled look of disgust) Kyle Busches, I accept this Nationwide title. ... Wait a second. Of Brad Keselowski. Of the start and parker himself, Jeff Green. This is it tonight, guys. God, that's beautiful. And Carl Edwards, and they can all kiss my tail light decals! (throws down the Nationwide drivers' championship trophy) Because! I am not the man who accepts a torch to be handed down to me from an organization that died-- RIP-- seven years ago. I am the man who ignites the new flame of the sport of mid-level stock car racing!  Tonight, before about 500 fans as witness, I declare myself, as the new Nascar Xfinity Sries Champion of the world! We have set out to change the face of national support series. So tonight, let the new era begin: the era of the sport of racing on Fox Sports 1 & NBCSN, the era of the NXS."